The Dukes of Hazzard: Reunion! Page #8

[BO WHOOPS]

- You got a little sideways.

-I did.

You keep going. I'll come back later

and explain what happened.

I wanna hear that.

BALLADEER:
Meanwhile,

at the Tough Person Contest...

...once Bertha Jo and Bubba actually

squared off, they simply couldn't fight.

Love had messed them up bad.

It'll do that.

[CROWD CHEERING]

- Bubba, you ain't even trying.

-Well, neither are you.

[BERTHA JO GRUNTS]

BUBBA:

Honey, are you okay?

[BERTHA GRUNTING]

BALLADEER:
The boys picked a rendezvous

point with Enos near the cotton mill.

General Lee would head

for the first checkpoint...

...to prove that the Dukes

were stiff in the race...

...while Luke went to the mill

to start the rescue plan.

Are y'all following this?

Now, old Kam had already passed

through the first checkpoint.

He pulled into the woods and swapped

with the hotter Double Zero number two.

Kam figured General Lee

had been slowed down at the barn...

...so with a hotter car...

...he could just stay on the roads

and win easy without even going overland.

That was his second mistake.

The first one being to come to Hazzard

and cross the Dukes.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Bubba, you hit harder

when we play Scrabble.

Yeah? Well, you ain't thrown

a decent punch yet.

What's the matter,

afraid you're gonna break a nail?

[BUBBA GRUNTS]

- Bubba? Are you okay? Bubba.

MAN:
One. two. three...

...four, five, six, seven, eight--

-You're faking.

MAN:

--nine, ten.

[BELL RINGING]

You're out.

[CROWD BOOING]

BALLADEER:
At the first checkpoint, Bo

and Enos showed they were still in the race.

Then they cut across country

straight for the cotton mill...

...where Luke was up a tree

trying to penetrate the compound.

[MEN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

I can hit it from here.

Yeah? From here?

BALLADEER:
Now, while Luke

was doing his circus act to get in...

...back at the fight,

it was pande-doggone-monium.

Most folks could see a better fight

by just staying home any Saturday night.

[PEOPLE SHOUTING]

BALLADEER:
Looks kind of

like a Hazzard wedding, don't it?

[HORN HONKING]

MAN 1:
Bubba, come on back here.

MAN 2:
Yeah.

WOMAN:

Cheaters! Come back.

LUKE [OVER RADIO]: Bo, this is Luke.

I'm on the roof. What's your 20?

Yeah, we just pulled in the woods

behind the mill, Luke.

What kept you?

Listen, I'm gonna go through the roof door

and scout for Daisy, all right?

[GUN COCKING]

MAN 1:

A semiautomatic can do that.

- So do you really, really like it?

-Oh, yeah.

- You do?

MAN 2:
Definitely. Looks good, girl.

- Get back in here, quick.

MAN 2:
Oh, leave her be.

MOJO:

What's next?

Hey, Bo, remember those guys we gave

the fighting lesson at the Boar's Nest?

Well, these ain't them.

LUKE [OVER RADIO]:

These guys are armed like Desert Storm.

Must be eight or 10 of them.

Don't you love the way

we stay a couple steps ahead?

Mama Jo must have

hired some mercenaries.

And I don't like these odds.

Looks like 10-to-3.

We best go find some help.

LUKE:

We ain't as young as we once was.

Hey, speak for yourself.

Who do you suggest I go get,

the Hazzard Girl Scouts?

LUKE:

Just go. Now.

All right. We'll be back.

Hang in there.

BALLADEER:

Well, so much for Plan A.

Back in town, Uncle Jesse

took second prize for his rattlesnake chili.

WOMAN:

Nice work.

BALLADEER:
But he couldn't

enjoy the victory for worry.

BERTHA JO:
Stop this truck!

BUBBA:
No!

BERTHA JO:
Stop it! Stop it.

-Bertha Jo.

BERTHA JO:

You threw the fight.

How am I ever gonna trust you again?

Hey, I hardly even felt

that sissy kick of yours.

BERTHA JO:
Oh yeah? Feel this.

-Come on.

BO:

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, whoa.

Hey, Bo.

Bertha Jo, Bubba,

you really wanna fight?

Yeah.

BO:

Bertha Jo.

Hey, Luke. Hey, Luke. Hey, Luke.

We're back.

Listen. I didn't get the Girl Scouts.

but are you ready for this?

BO:
l got Bubba and Bertha Jo.

-Nobody's ready for Bertha Jo.

How you planning to get in?

Well, country charm, of course.

[BIRDS SCREECHING]

Pow!

[BERTHA JO CRYING]

- Hey.

MAN:
Hi.

- Y'all got any spare gas?

-Sure. Where's your car?

Down the road. My boyfriend ran me off.

Now, why the heck would he wanna do

a thing like that?

I keep looking for love

in all the wrong places.

I'll bet you do.

Can you hold this for a second?

[GRUNTING]

B.J., was you flirting with him?

Does it look like I was flirting with him,

Bubba?

Way to go, Bubba.

Way to go, Bertha Jo.

Tie him up. Get this one.

When Mama Jo calls,

we bring Daisy to town.

- Now, Mama said no guns.

-What?

So drop them in the sack.

[MEN GRUMBLING]

Look, what do you want me to say?

Something's come over her.

Look, we got bats, clubs,

blackjacks here. Help yourself.

MoJo, look, this ain't the Mafia.

They're just hicks. Please.

MAN 1:
Don't do it.

MAN 2:
Don't. Come on, man.

All right, great. Tonight it's Christmas

and you're Santa's elves.

Drop them in. Let's go.

Whoever's holding Daisy is mine.

BALLADEER:
Looks like

Mama's boys are about to meet...

...an irresistible force

carrying a sledge hammer.

Ready, y'all. One, two-- Enos.

I'm sorry, Bo.

Three.

[SHOUTING]

[GRUNTING]

[SHOUTING]

Bubba.

[GRUNTING]

[CHEERS]

Where's Daisy?

[GRUNTING]

Say nighty-night.

Hit him.

- Hit him, man.

-Luke.

- Now?

-Now.

Yee-haw!

BO:

All right, you. Come on.

- Luke, what took you so long?

- You were doing good.

Thank you.

Oh, no. Not again.

Can't we talk this over, Mr. Enos?

Oh, no!

Hey, buddy-ro, where's Daisy?

- She's in there, Enos.

-Thanks, Luke. Thanks, Bo.

Enos. Hey. Hi.

ENOS:

Daisy.

Get me out of here.

- Daisy.

DAISY:
Hey.

ENOS:

Oh, Daisy. Daisy, I missed you.

- Are you okay?

-I'm fine.

Did you miss me?

Yes, you know I did.

- All right.

-Hey. Hey.

We got a race to run. Come on.

Yeah, we do.

BALLADEER:
Kam and Double Zero

passed through the checkpoint...

...sure the race was as good as won.

LUKE:

All right. Okay, let's go.

You'd do well to stay away

from windows, son.

All right, get in the trunk, kidnapper.

You're kidding, right?

Maybe you'd rather be a hood ornament?

DAISY:
So I sewed them all together

and I got it. Do you like it?

BERTHA JO:
I love it.

-See you at the wedding.

- Okay, all right.

-Oh, my God!

BO:

Hey, hey, Bubba.

- Let's go.

-Have a nice ride.

- Let's race.

BO:
Yeah.

BALLADEER:

Though they had little chance to win...

...they took off for

the second checkpoint...

...because when a Duke starts a race,

he finishes.

Besides, the Duke farm and Hazzard Swamp

were still at stake.

- Hey, Luke, do you see what I see?

-I see both of what you see.

Buzz, what in the heck are you doing?

- Boys, y'all was snookered.

BO:
What?

You've been racing Kam's car

with an illegal engine.

Kam was supposed to finish the race

in mine, but now mine won't start.

Especially without this.

Kam. You just might want to leave Hazzard

while you still can.

Look, y'all, I just wanna race General Lee

one last time.

So, what do you say?

Fair and square to the finish line?

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