The Egg and I Page #9

when she hears about this.

And what's more,

I'm going to tell her!

I told you, I can't sleep in it.

It's too soft.

Now, whoever heard

of a bed being too soft?

Stuff and nonsense. You'll have

no spine left sleeping on that sofa.

You were up early again too.

I heard you moving around the kitchen.

I can't help it, Emmy. I got in the habit.

The minute the sun rises,

I just have to get up.

First thing you'll know, you're going

to be sick, carrying on this way.

- Shall I fix your bath?

- Yeah, bring it in.

- "Bring it in"?

- Hmm? Oh.

Oh, I keep forgetting.

We have a room for

that here, haven't we?

Oh, land sakes, went right out of my mind.

I got a letter for you.

Looks like it might be

from your husband.

- Send it back unopened.

- You mean you're not gonna read it?

No! Send it back!

- Anything from Bob?

- No.

Betty, you don't mean to tell me you're

still sending his mail back unopened.

It's perfectly ridiculous.

No wonder he stopped writing you.

Mother, if he had any real interest in me,

he'd have been here months ago.

Emmy, I told you never to serve me eggs.

I can't stand the sight of them!

You've got to eat. You've got to keep

your strength up.

If I never see another egg,

it'll be all right with me.

Just as you say,

but I won't be responsible.

In my opinion, both you and Bob

are behaving very stupidly.

Mother, we've been all over this before,

now please, don't.

You know how I feel about interfering,

but I hate to see a good marriage...

break up because of

a lot of silly stubbornness.

In my opinion, you ought

to keep in touch with him...

especially at this time.

I don't want to be

in touch with him.

Nothing in the whole world would

make me go back to him again!

Nothing.

Isn't it funny how a little bit of nothing

like this makes everything else so unimportant?

You fight and struggle

and argue and...

do crazy things.

None of it makes

any difference.

This is what really counts.

Mother, I'm going back to Bob

just as soon as I can.

We're coming into your station, ma'am.

Better be getting started.

Thank you.

Well, here we go.

Get ready

to surprise your father.

It won't be long now, darling.

It's not much,

but it's home.

Remember, don't be too hard on it.

It'll grow on you after a while.

So will your father

when you get to know him.

He's a pretty nice fellow

in many ways.

Of course, he has some

strange ideas about how to live.

He can be taken in by any

designing female in a station wagon.

But on the whole,

he's really swell...

and awful cute.

Full of high ideals.

You could do a lot worse than

to grow up to be just like him.

What are you

stopping here for?

- You're lookin' for your husband, ain't ya?

- Yes?

Well, that's

where he lives.

Well, ain't you goin'in?

Drive back to the station.

Oh, you poor child.

It's not your fault he's your father.

Don't you worry.

They say there's nothing

to heredity anyway.

But if you ever grow up to be like him,

I'll never speak to you again...

as long as I live.

Oh, I only wish I had him here

a minute. I'd show him.

And that woman too.

Driver! Stop!

- Huh?

- Go right back to that house.

Yes, indeedy!

- Would you hold her for me for a minute?

- Huh?

- Ain't I gonna get to see nothin'?

- No!

But you're going

to hear plenty!

Get away from me, you traitor!

Very cosy.

- Betty?

- Don't you "Betty" me, you, you bluebeard!

- "Bluebeard"?

- You could hardly wait till I got out of your way...

so you could move over here with that

silly woman and her station wagon...

- and her automatic milkers...

- Now, wait a minute...

Wait 'til she finds out you're more

interested in those automatic milkers...

- than you are in her!

- Listen to me...

- I gave you the best years of my life!

- One year!

It seemed like 10! Washing, ironing,

cooking, keeping house...

tending pigs, chasing cows,

hatching eggs!

And for what? So you could run off with

the first idiot who made eyes at you.

- Are you through?

- Yes, I am for the moment.

If you have anything to say,

you'd better make it good.

I'll make it good, all right. I'm not

living with Harriet, as you seem to think.

I'm living by myself,

and do you know why?

Because my wife walked out on me before I had

a chance to tell her I bought this farm for her.

- You what?

- Yes, I bought it.

I hocked everything I owned

to make the down payment.

I wanted to surprise you. You were

wonderful and worked so hard.

- Don't think I didn't know and appreciate it.

- Oh, Bob!

Then what do you do?

The night I'm closing the deal...

after spending the whole afternoon

listening to her silly talk...

and sitting through a nine-course dinner

with crepe suzettes, which you know I hate...

and I finally get her to sign the deal

after promising half my life away...

I go home and what do I find?

A big sign:
"I'm through!"

- Gone, just like that!

- Bob, I... I didn't know.

If you'd have had the decency

to read my letters, you'd have known.

- It's all in here.

- Oh, no, don't!

Bob, I'm so sorry.

It's like this, Betty.

If two people are going to get along,

they just have to believe in each other.

No matter what, always.

- Oh, Betty.

- Oh, Bob.

- I'm glad you're back.

- Oh, darling.

Oh!

- Do you know what day this is?

- Uh-uh.

Happy anniversary.

I mean, happy day

after our anniversary.

Same to you

and many of them.

- Do you remember this?

- What?

- Oh.

- We're a little off schedule, aren't we?

- Don't worry, darling. We'll make it.

- Where you going?

I've got a surprise

for you.

- Right on schedule.

- Yeah.

Well, here.

- What's his name?

- Anne.

Oh.

- Glad to know you, Anne.

- Mr Bob! Mr Bob!

Better come right away, Mr Bob!

We got trouble in the chicken house.

- Those water pipes again?

- Busted wide open and them hens is goin'crazy! Ten drowned.

- Bob!

- Hmm? Oh!

- I'll be right with ya!

- Okay!

Don't go away, you two!

You see what I mean?

I could write a book.

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