The Emperor Waltz Page #5

Up! In you go.

Well, if it isn't

the Countess!

Don't you trust them?

We're leaving.

Step outside, you two.

And close the door.

I have to talk to you.

We'll miss the train.

You're not going

on that train.

What are you gonna do,

shoot us out of a cannon?

I need your help.

Well. You don't say.

My dog is outside

in a state of

complete collapse.

Small wonder. You people

take those high-strung critters,

breed them, interbreed them,

over breed them,

something in their noggins

is bound to start rattling.

She was perfectly all right

until she saw your dog...

All Buttons

did was walk up...

Let's not go into it.

I'm here to demand

Your cooperation.

The reason for Scheherazade's

breakdown is fear...

and the reason for her fear

is your dog.

The only cure is to get back

to the source of that fear, thus

eliminating the mental block.

Are you following me?

Countess, you lost me back there

around "cooperation."

To put it simply,

if she could realize

he is not a danger.

If your dog could be

nice to my dog.

Oh, no. She might

throw a flea on him.

I assure you

this is a matter

of the utmost importance.

It goes far beyond

just curing a dog.

So we do you a favor

and you kick us out.

Is that it?

No, you can stay as long

as you like, do what

You like. I don't care.

Well, now you're

talkin' sense.

I'll bring her in.

There's no time to waste.

See that your dog behaves.

Hold it, Countess,

there's a word missing.

I beg your pardon?

- The word is please.

- Please.

Ah-ah-ah-ah.

You can do better than that.

Please.

Come again.

- Please.

- Getting warmer.

- Please.

- Bring in the mutt!

Leopold.

Put her

on the bed here.

[Dog Whimpering]

She's got it

pretty bad, huh?

[Buttons Growling]

Here, you, quiet.

Shh!

The doctor says that

she might go c-r-a-z-y.

We'll see

what we can d-o.

[Growling]

[Scheherazade Whines]

Now, now, now.

Don't say no until you and I

have had a chance to talk,

man to man.

I'm gonna open this basket and

You're gonna go and apologize

like a little gentleman.

You understand?

[Growling]

- Don't open the basket.

- Let me handle this.

Come on, Buttons.

Come on, boy.

Gotta help me out now.

Remember that time in Munich

when you became involved

with the police...

'cause you lapped up

all that beer in the ratskeller.

Who got you out of that?

Old Virgil, huh?

We won't talk about it

now, no.

You've gotta help me out.

Go over there and apologize.

Go on. All right,

so she did hurt your feelings.

[Growling]

So she's snooty

and highfalutin.

But you're a pretty fresh

little mutt yourself, you know.

But you're a man and it's

up to the man to apologize.

Now go ahead. Go on.

[Barking]

[Whining]

Her heart's

beating like mad.

Proud, huh? And stubborn.

Look at her.

For once in your life

You meet a real lady.

And a mighty pretty one.

Look at those trim

little ankles, hmm?

And that pompadour.

[Whistles]

That's super deluxe,

that's class. It's better

than class:
it's "claaass."

Go on, be nice to here.

Go ahead, move in.

Take charge. Atta boy.

Go on, Buttons.

[Barks,

Whining]

Don't be afraid, Scheherazade.

He's a nice little dog.

Maybe he hasn't had

some of the advantages.

[Whining]

It's no use.

Maybe we'd better stop.

[Whispering]

Hey, Buttons. Hey.

kiss your little hand,

madame

Your dainty fingertips

And while in slumberland,

madame

I'm begging for your lips

haven't any right, madame

I think she likes that.

Sometimes I wonder

If hearts are broken

By little love words

that are left unspoken

I always tremble

When you are near me

I'm looking for

a ray of hope

To cheer me

I hope to keep

my kisses warm

Until we meet

in shadow form

[Piano]

In dreams I kiss your hand,

madame

Your dainty fingertips

And while in slumberland,

madame

I'm begging

for your lips

I haven't any right,

madame

To do the things

I do

Just when I hold you tight,

madame

You vanish with the night,

madame

In dreams I kiss your hand,

madame

And pray my dreams

Come true

I'm just putting it on a little

to give them the idea.

Oh.

[Whining]

Nothing personal,

You understand.

Oh, I understand perfectly.

I wouldn't presume...

No, of course you wouldn't.

[Violins]

[Giggling]

haven't any right,

madame

To do the things I do

Just when I hold you tight,

madame

You vanish with the night,

madame

[Scatting]

[Scatting Continues]

Thank you so much.

You've been most kind.

Oh, not at all. It's a pleasure

to do business with you.

Good-bye.

Good-bye.

Oh, Countess.

Yes?

You forgot something.

I did? What?

Your d-o-g.

Oh, of course.

He has missed the train.

What train?

The one he was going on.

Oh, he's not going.

Scheherazade.

Scheherazade.

Buttons.

[Whistling]

[Barking]

She seems

so wonderfully well.

Doesn't she, though?

Come on, Scheherazade,

come on.

Come on, Buttons.

Here, boy.

Come on, Scheherazade,

Give Buttons back his ball.

Oh, no. Let her have it.

Compliments of the house.

You're very kind.

Good-bye.

So long, Countess.

Come on, Scheherazade.

If she should

have a relapse,

bring her back.

Thank you so much.

Any time.

Go on home,

You two.

[Panting]

[Sighing]

You're telling me.

It's the biggest stag

they've had up here in years,

Your Majesty. I saw it myself.

Already I can see its head

above Your Majesty's desk.

Those magnificent antlers,

18 points.

You can see the antlers but

I don't seem to see the stag.

It is up there in the glen,

I assure, Your Majesty.

Listen.

Every morning for a week they've

promised me that stag and no

stag. Not a shadow of a stag.

Today it will be there.

It must be. That stag dare not

disappoint His Emperor again.

Look at all those other men,

Putzi. I'm very angry with you.

Do you mind, Princess?

I do not like the name Putzi.

Not only am I angry, I'm

disappointed. I did hope you'd

wear those short leather pants.

Why?

For years I've wanted

to see your knees.

You must have very good knees,

my dear Putzi.

They're handsome knees.

They're my knees

and I'm nobody's Putzi.

Aren't you being a little cold

to the richest woman

in Austria?

Not rich enough. Besides,

I have other prospects.

Such an exciting contrast,

Countess.

You, pale and blond

against the brunette

Spanish landscape.

Spain is for bulls.

For a beautiful woman

is Hungary... is Budapest,

that wicked boudoir of a city.

No, entirely too much paprika,

don't you think, Countess?

Let me show you Granada:

toreadors, orange trees,

a thousand fountains

dancing in a sunlight.

You offer the Countess

sunlight. I offer her

fierce midnights...

and czardas

and wild gypsies.

[Humming]

[Humming Stops]

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did someone say something?

There,

Your Majesty.

[Marching Music

Blaring]

[Continues]

What is it?

Music here in my own forest?

[Continues]

How dare they?

How dare they?

I don't know, Your Majesty.

I want my stag!

It must be a band

marching down the highway.

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