The Emperor Waltz Page #6

Maybe it's an echo from

the village.

I want that band

apprehended.

I will have them punished.

Every instrument,

especially the brasses!

Your Majesty, may offer

my profound apologies?

You may not!

Oh, certainly not.

Silence!

[Continues]

Turn that thing off.

Hi, Countess.

Turn it off immediately.

Now that I got him here?

You're crazy.

Stop it, I tell you.

You're gonna scratch

my record.

You scared off the Emperor's

stag. They're combing the woods

with loaded guns.

Let me demonstrate...

Did you find that band?

Not yet, Countess.

They must be hiding

in the underbrush.

Who is this man?

A tourist

picking strawberries.

What is that?

Uh... well, that's what

I was asking.

It's apparently

for the strawberries.

How?

How. Oh-Oh, "how?"

Oh, why you... You put

the strawberries in here...

and then you grind them up

with this, you see, and the jam

collects down yonder.

This, uh, black platter...

You serve them

on the platter.

The hole is

for the juice.

Any other questions,

please?

Yes. Will it work

with gooseberries?

Gooseberries.

Great with gooseberries,

huckleberries,

strawberries, raspberries.

It's particularly

smashing with raspberries.

You get the jam and the sound.

You see?

Go find the band.

Yes, Countess.

Yes, Countess.

Thank you, Countess.

You're a pip.

I'm a what?

A sweetheart.

Put down that gun

and have a chair.

I'm afraid you'll have to

think up another scheme

for your talking machine.

Say, how's Scheherazade?

She's much better.

Too bad.

What did you say?

I said too bad. Buttons and I

were hoping she'd have a relapse

and you'd have to come back.

That won't be necessary.

She's as gay as a lark,

busy with her wedding plans.

Being trimmed, a new collar,

sniffing over her wedding

presents.

Is that right?

Buttons and I keep talking

about you, night and day.

No sleep. No appetite.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

You don't suppose, do you, that

that mental block business...

Now, could that be contagious?

Nonsense! Buttons is a sturdy,

well-adjusted little dog.

Oh, I know Buttons is

but I'm talking about me. I'm

the one that's got the shivers.

[Laughs]

Don't laugh. One night there'll

be a knock at your door.

When you come to open it,

Buttons will be standing there,

with me in his arms.

Like you came with Scheherazade.

He'll put me down...

and I'll lie there

quaking all over,

with my eyes rolled back until

just the white is showing.

There'll be nasty gossip at the

castle.

We'll sneak up the

servant's stairs.

There I'll be, lying there

in pitiable condition.

You'd have to help me then,

wouldn't you?

How?

You'd bend over me...

You remember the cure we found.

I never sing.

Well, come on,

force yourself.

Just hum a little, huh?

[Humming]

[Marques]

Countess von

Stolzenberg-Stolzenberg.

[Continues]

Countess

von Stolzenberg-Stolzenberg!

Good-bye.

Oh, wait,

Countess, don't go.

Don't you feel it too?

Feel what, Mr. Smith?

Oh, that funny stir

inside of you.

Those bubbles that start down

in the tips of your toes and

tingle up through your spine...

'til they reach

Your brain where they pop

like a firecracker.

I know nothing about

any such bubbles.

They're in your veins.

They beat in your throat

and pound in your ears.

What does, Mr. Smith?

Your blood. It's all out

of whack. It goes so fast

and it goes every which way.

Mine's going counterclockwise.

How's yours?

Perfectly normal, I assure you.

I don't believe it.

Mine's the weak, watery

different sort of blood.

You said so yourself.

Aww.

[Virgil]

n dreams kiss your hand,

madame

Your dainty

fingertips

And while in slumberland,

madame

[Scheherazade Whining]

'm begging

for your lips

[Whining Continues]

Go to sleep,

Scheherazade.

Go to sleep.

[Singing ndistinct]

[Whining Continues]

La di di

da do-do-do

Now, really.

Scheherazade,

come back to bed.

Da da di di

da da dum

Scheherazade.

[Whining]

Stop thinking about him.

He's just an ordinary little dog

like a million other dogs.

[Whining Continues]

All right, he has some charm

and he knows some tricks,

but he's not for you:

he's not your sort.

I think I better

give you a sleeping pill.

It'll relax you. Come on.

Come to bed.

Come on.

Get in.

That's a good girl.

[Whines]

Take this and lie down

and go to sleep.

[Whining]

Oh, go to sleep, do.

Tomorrow you're going to be the

most important dog in Austria.

You want to look your best.

[Whines]

Scheherazade, you're an adult,

intelligent woman.

A little self control,

a little dignity.

Is that too much to ask?

What would happen

if we all let ourselves go?

[Moaning]

[Sighs]

Just make up your mind to this.

It cannot be.

Shut out every thought

in that direction.

Fight it.

Suppress it.

[Virgil]

n dreams

kiss your hand

Your dainty

fingertips

And while in slumberland,

madame

'm begging

for your lips

haven't any right,

madame

To do the things do

Just when

hold you tight

You vanish

with the night

[Whines]

A fine pair we make.

Di da da da di

[Coughs]

Not another cold,

Your Majesty?

Certainly not.

The same one.

I might again suggest inhaling

the vapor of pine needles.

No, Holenia, no.

[Man]

Forty-15.

Any news from the kennels?

We took Scheherazade down

after luncheon.

She asked me to

thank Your Majesty

for the bridal bouquet.

You've seen poodle puppies,

haven't you, Holenia?

Charming little beasts.

Look as if they were made

of black wool and licorice.

[Princess]

Good shot.

If I might be excused,

Your Majesty.

What is it?

What's happening?

She's run away. She's gone.

It's a disgrace

to our kennels.

Well, where is she?

I don't know. She just

jumped over a six-foot fence

and disappeared.

That filthy animal.

I must inform

His Majesty.

You will do nothing of the kind.

We mustn't disquiet the Emperor.

He has a cold.

Then what am I to do?

We'll catch her.

We'll bring her back.

You return to the kennels.

That's an order.

But...

Yes, Baron.

[Man]

Advantage, receiver.

[Whispers]

Johanna. Johanna.

[Man]

The game.

Johanna.

Yes, Father?

We're in trouble.

What is it?

Scheherazade!

Scheherazade!

[Bleating]

[Holenia]

Scheherazade.!

Scheherazade!

Look at the silly beast!

[Quacking]

[Seed Banging In Pail]

[Footsteps Approaching]

[Seed Banging]

Scheherazade.

Scheherazade.

Where's Scheherazade?

I don't know.

For heaven's sake, don't just

lie there. She's run away.

She must be with Buttons.

Where's Buttons?

Look at there. You threw me

off. What's your problem?

Where's Buttons?

He isn't here.

He's not?

Where is he?

He got feeling so miserable

I put him out on the island.

What island?

Out here.

I'll show you.

He was unhappy,

crying all night

and everything,

I thought if I disconnected him

from the mainland, put him on

that island...

Look!

That idiot.!

[Virgil]

That wonderful gal.

No mountain too high.

No ocean too wide.

Go it, Scheherazade!

Oh, I hate you.

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