The Emperor Waltz Page #7

The way, you say it,

I don't mind it.

We've got to stop her.

Oh, forget her. Stick around,

I'll open up a bottle of glue.

I've gotta catch her

and you're going to help me.

Wait a minute. Wait.

Johanna,

what is it?

Where are you going?

Johanna!

[Buttons Barking]

[Barking Continues]

[Barking Continues]

Scheherazade!

Scheherazade!

Do you know how

to row this thing?

Sure. I used to travel

for a Venetian blind company.

Scheherazade!

Santa Lucia

Santa Lucia

A-la la di da di

Scheherazade!

A-di da di da di

Scheherazade!

[Buttons Barking]

Santa Lucia

[Howling]

Johanna! Johanna!

Santa Lucia

[Barking]

[Barking Continues]

[Barking]

Scheherazade.

Hold it, Buttons.

I'm a'comin'.

Oh, boy,

You're all mixed up here.

He isn't hurt, is he?

No, not him, he's too tough.

You kept telling me

she didn't care, huh?

Don't let him

off that leash.

Oh, don't worry.

Well, you've had your moment,

You lucky little coot.

It isn't every guy, you know,

to have the lovely Countess

swim across a lake for them.

Stop trembling,

Scheherazade.

I won't scold you. No.

I won't even mention it

to anybody, ever.

I promise.

[Violins Tuning Up]

What's that noise?

Oh, that? That, uh,

comes from the village.

You know, in the daytime

they make violins,

and in the evening, they fiddle.

[Violins]

[Continues]

Mighty pleasant,

isn't it?

It's probably due

to the echo.

Yeah.

Like sittin' way up

in the balcony, huh?

No, no, no, we must go back,

Scheherazade and I.

Oh?

Well, then I'll...

I'll get Buttons ready

for the night.

You can say

Your lips

Are not for me

But you can't hide

the kiss

That's in your eyes...

Would you mind

not singing?

What was that?

I said,

please stop singing.

Oh, sure.

What's a matter, Countess?

You afraid or something?

Afraid?

You know, this

silly island, the silly sunset,

all those fiddles tearing away,

a man's voice.

You have to be

more explicit.

But you needn't be afraid.

It's just that... sometimes

sounds do funny things.

Now, you take a big chandelier,

one of those high-class,

well brought up chandeliers,

and you hit

a particular note, ping.

You make that chandelier

tinkle all over.

Are you under the impression

that your voice could, as you

put it, make me... tinkle?

Well, yes, maybe,

a little around the edges.

Who do you think I am?

Some half-witted shop girl...

or some maudlin

little waitress

from a beer garden?

You're a chandelier,

Countess.

The loveliest chandelier

I ever saw.

Go on, sing.

Oh. No.

This is insulting.

Sing and sing at once!

You can say

Your lips

Are not for me

But you can't hide

the kiss

That's in your eyes

And you can say

my arms

Would only

leave you cold

But wait 'til

they hold you

And then

look wise

Yes

and you can say

Tonight will come

and go

Without a single

moment's worth of sighs

But why

should I agree

When I know

what will be

It's plain to me

Plain as the kiss

In your eyes

Plain as the kiss...

Stop it!

I had a husband.

He was suave

and distinguished.

He was dark and dashing.

He was six feet two.

He was the handsomest man

in Austria.

You're so different.

Imagine, a thousand years of

civilization crumbling because

of a drummer's vocal chords.

Isn't it utterly

past belief?

Aren't you a little harsh?

I remember once when

I was listening to Caruso.

[Sighs]

Caruso is excusable,

but that man's voice is...

A cheap bathroom yowl.

Ah, Therese, think of

their nearness and the lake...

and the fragrance

of the summer night

in the Tyrol.

Why begrudge them a moment

of happiness?

Had it only stopped there.

But for two whole weeks

they were having secret

rendezvous on that island.

The four of them.

How shocking!

How divinely shocking!

[Virgil Whistling]

[Continues]

Could I trouble you

for another kiss,

honey Countess?

No trouble at all.

[Sighs]

I shall never

forget you, Virgil.

Impertinent, unpardonable,

ridiculous Virgil.

You bet you won't because I'm

gonna be around to remind you.

You are?

I got it all worked out,

honey Countess. You pack

Your bags. I pack mine.

We get the dogs. Take

the first train, first boat,

and then one day your folks...

are gonna get a postcard

from Newark, New Jersey.

It'll say,

"Merry Christmas from

Mr. And Mrs. Virgil H. Smith."

It sounds so wonderful,

and so impossible.

Oh, a few small problems.

A few? A million.

Where I come from,

there's only one real problem:

Have you got two bucks

for the license,

and two bucks I got.

Where I come from there are

traditions and conventions...

and family ties

and responsibilities...

Oh, forget 'em, Countess.

We can't afford

a scandal in my family.

I have a young brother.

By the grace of the Emperor,

he's just been admitted to

the Imperial Cadet School.

Good. So he'll hustle and get

himself a job setting up pins

in the Imperial Bowling Academy.

I have a young sister, 17.

She's to be presented at court,

her first great glamourous ball.

She'll call in the neighborhood

kids instead. She'll have

herself a big taffy pull.

Then there's my father, very

bankrupt and slightly dishonest.

If we affront the Emperor...

The Emperor, the Emperor.

Nobody's that important.

The Emperor is.

Why don't you tell him

how things are with us,

how we stand?

That we're crazy

about each other.

Don't be naive.

All right then,

let me talk to him.

You?

Why, sure!

You just get me in there.

I'll tell him a thing or two.

You're not ashamed

of me, are you?

Of course not.

Because I have no title,

I'm just a businessman?

No, it's impossible.

The Emperor wouldn't listen

to you. Even if he did,

he wouldn't believe his ears.

I'll reason it out with him.

You don't reason

with an emperor, darling.

You bow and listen to what

he has to say and what he has

to say is no. It's always no.

And you bow again and leave.

Not me.

I don't take no's.

I get my foot in the door and

I talk and talk and talk fast.

I'm a good salesman.

So I've noticed.

Come on, honey Countess.

Let me see him, huh?

I'm no saint.

Heaven knows.

I'm no Puritan.

I've allowed my affections

to get involved with the

lower classes more than once,

but I had some sense

of proportion.

I love him, Father.

Prettiest girl

I ever knew was the daughter

of a garbage collector.

But at the proper time, I had

the good taste to consign her

regretfully to the garbage can.

I didn't put on a silver platter

and present her to my emperor.

He's wonderful

and I'm proud of him.

He doesn't accept

our silly little prejudices.

He's better than we are.

Garbage! He's a cheap

little drummer with some

cheap business on his mind.

No, Father,

with me on his mind,

and a wonderful shining love.

Garbage.!

[Car Approaching,

Fanfare Music]

Virgil.

Hello, Countess.

He's waiting for you.

Good.

I'm ready myself.

Now, don't be nervous.

Look who's talking.

Hi.

Garbage.

What are you

going to say?

I don't know, I'll do something.

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