The End of the Tour Page #7

LIPSKY:

And after the security guard thing?

DAVID:

This is the worst: I worked as a towel

boy at this chichi health club.

LIPSKY:

A “towel boy?”

DAVID:

They called me something other than a

towel boy, but I was in effect a towel

boy. Who every once in a while was

entrusted with the job of checking

people in, having them show their i.d?

LIPSKY:

Uh huh.

DAVID:

Anyway, I'm sitting there, and who

should walk in to get their towel, but

this guy, this writer I knew.

37.

Who received a Whiting Writer's Award

the same year I had, like two years

earlier.

LIPSKY:

Oh, sh*t...

DAVID:

So I see this guy that I'd been up on

this f***ing rostrum with, having

Eudora Welty give us this prize -

LIPSKY:

Oh, God!

DAVID:

-And two years later, I'm like … It's

the only time I've literally dived

under something, to have somebody

avoid seeing me.

LIPSKY:

Did you think you were done then?

DAVID:

Yeah. I was pretty sure life was over.

LIPSKY:

This is after your suicide watch?

David blinks. A beat.

DAVID:

How’d you know about that?

LIPSKY:

I read it somewhere. McLean’s, right?

How long were you there?

DAVID:

Eight days, I think.

LIPSKY:

Why were you there?

DAVID:

Mostly 'cause I was scared I would do

something stupid. I had a friend from

high school who tried to kill himself

by sitting in a garage with the car

runnin'. And what it turned out was,

he didn't die, but it really f***ed up

his brain.

38.

And I knew, that if anybody was fated

to f*** up a suicide attempt, it was

me.

LIPSKY:

So there you are still in your

twenties...

DAVID:

My late twenties.

LIPSKY:

Your late twenties, somewhat in pain

about your desire to become a sort of

successful literary person.

DAVID:

I think probably the not very

sophisticated diagnosis is that I was

depressed. 'Cause by this time, my

ego's all invested in the writing.

It's the only thing that I've gotten,

you know, food pellets from the

universe for. So I felt really

trapped:
Like, “Uh-oh, my five years

is up. I've gotta move on, but I don't

want to move on.” I was really stuck.

And drinking was part of that. But it

wasn't that I was stuck because I

drank. It was like, I really sort of

felt like my life was over at twenty-

eight. And that felt really bad, and I

didn't wanna feel it. So I would do

all kinds of things: I mean, I would

drink real heavy, I would like f***

strangers. Oh, God --Or, then, for

two weeks I wouldn't drink, and I'd

run ten miles every morning, in a

desperate, like very American, “I will

fix this somehow, by taking radical

action” sort of thing.

LIPSKY:

And here you are, promoting this

acclaimed book. Not bad.

DAVID:

David. This [the interview] is nice.

This is not real.

They look at one another.

39.

58 INT. AIRPORT/ARRIVALS - MINNEAPOLIS - 1996 - DAY 58

The guys walk toward baggage claim.

DAVID:

An escort’s supposed to pick me up

and, you know, escort me to the

reading. Of course, when I hear

“escort,” I imagine like full geisha

with hairpins who will take you to the

bookstore, then back to the hotel,

walk on your back and f*** your

eyeballs out.

Lipsky is laughing.

LIPSKY:

I think that’s her.

DAVID:

Ah. Just as I pictured.

At the end of a long corridor stands a solidly-built, perky,

forty-ish woman, PATTY, holding a sign: “MR. WALLACE.”

PATTY:

Mr. Wallace! I recognized you from

your photograph! I’m Patty Gundersson!

Welcome to Minneapolis!

DAVID:

Thank you, Patty.

LIPSKY:

Hi, I’m David Lipsky.

PATTY:

David and David. That’s easy. It’s

the Twin Cities, so...

DAVID:

(in explanation) We only just met.

He’s writing a piece on the tour.

Should we get going?

PATTY:

Yes, come on, come on...

As they exit:

DAVID:

How was your morning, Patty...

40.

PATTY:

Good. How about you guys? The flight

alright?

59 INT. PATTY'S CAR/STREET - MINNEAPOLIS - 1996 - DAY 59

Driving through Minneapolis. David and Lipsky share the

backseat. Patty is a talker.

PATTY:

You wouldn’t believe all the famous

people I’ve driven around! Shirley

MacLaine? When she came through on a

book tour? Ron Wood. You know, of

the Rolling Stones?

DAVID:

Of course, yeah, wow.

PATTY:

Peter O’Toole... Very thin, but

delightful.

Lipsky sees the passing, obstructed view of the Mary Tyler

Moore commemorative statue.

LIPSKY:

Oh, look:
The Mary Tyler Moore statue.

DAVID:

Oh, yeah.

PATTY:

Do you want me to stop?

DAVID:

No, no.

PATTY:

Everybody who comes here, the first

thing they want to see is “where did

Mary Tyler Moore throw her cap in the

air?” One of our biggest attractions.

You sure you don’t want me to stop?

DAVID:

I’m sure. Thanks, anyway.

(sotto, to Lipsky)

Trust me:
This is about as sexy as the

tour gets.

Lipsky laughs.

41.

61 INT. HOTEL WHITNEY/LOBBY - MINNEAPOLIS - 1996 - DAY 61

Lipsky and David check in at the front desk.

FEMALE DESK CLERK

Mr. ...

LIPSKY:

Lipsky. L-I-P, S-K-Y.

FEMALE DESK CLERK

I’ve got you in a standard double.

And Mr. Wallace? You have a room with

twins.

DAVID:

Ah, yes:
Anita and Consuela.

Lipsky laughs. The desk clerk doesn’t get the joke.

FEMALE DESK CLERK

Excuse me?

62 INT. HOTEL WHITNEY/CORRIDOR - MINNEAPOLIS - 1996 - DAY 62

The elevator arrives with a ding.

finds his room.

They both get off; David

DAVID:

See ya later. I’m gonna take a nap.

We follow Lipsky in the opposite direction to his.

63A INT. HOTEL WHITNEY/LIPSKY'S ROOM - MINNEAPOLIS - 1996 - DAY 63A

His hair still wet from a shower, Lipsky is on the phone toBob, his increasingly exasperated editor.

BOB’S VOICE

(over phone) Well, what does he have

to say about the heroin rumors?

LIPSKY:

I haven’t gotten to that.

BOB’S VOICE

What are you waiting for?

LIPSKY:

What am I supposed to say: Is it trueyou were a heroin addict?

BOB’S VOICE

Yes. That’s your story.

42.

LIPSKY:

Okay. It’s hard.

BOB’S VOICE

Why? Because you like him?

LIPSKY:

Well... Yeah.

BOB’S VOICE

David. You’ve got to press him.

LIPSKY:

Okay.

BOB’S VOICE

Be a prick if you have to. You’re not

his best buddy, you’re a reporter.

LIPSKY:

I know. Right. Bye.

He hangs up and looks out the window.

64 E/I. HUNGRY MIND BOOKSTORE - ST PAUL - 1996 - NIGHT 64

A cool, independent bookstore [now defunct]. Patty escorts

the Davids in. People who have begun to show up for the event

recognize David; some gawk, some smile. David’s friends, two

attractive women around his age, JULIE (petite, brunette) and

BETSY (tall, striking), surprise him with their attendance.

DAVID:

I can’t believe you guys showed up!

JULIE:

We wouldn’t miss this, are you

kidding?

DAVID:

Gluttons for punishment, both of you.

They greet and hug David. Introductions, handshakes.

DAVID:

This is David Lipsky. A reporter from

Rolling Stone.

JULIE:

Oh, wow, hi.

DAVID:

This is Julie...

43.

LIPSKY:

Hi, Julie.

DAVID:

And this is Betsy.

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