The Errand Boy Page #6

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"Why, they're almost aliVe."

Or, " They made me

believe they're aliVe"?

Yeah, I remember that, I do.

Well, it isn't any different now.

Especially when you want to

believe what you see and hear.

So you see, Morty, you actually

liked the little clown enough

to take him at face Value.

You didn't stop to analyze him.

You just liked what you saw,

and you believed what you liked.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess so.

- And you know something else?

- What?

- I believe you.

- Fine.

And I like you too.

I like liking you.

It makes me feel good...

...just liking someone.

Well...

...l've gotta really go now.

Maybe I'll come by

and see you again, huh?

- All right.

- Goodbye.

- Bye-bye.

- Say hello to the little clown for me.

- Oh, I will.

- Bye.

Bye.

Oh, my darling.

Oh, my loVe.

My loVe.

My loVe.

And here's to a fond farewell,

my loVe.

For we shall never meet again...

...at least in this world.

But if my prayers are answered...

...maybe we will meet...

...in the world beyond.

Farewell.

Goodbye.

Cut! And print that one.

LoVely. LoVely.

You were more magnificent than

I've ever seen you, Anastasia.

- Just brilliant. Brilliant.

- Thank you, Jason.

I thought it was rather tender.

Great. Just great, Anastasia.

But then, you always are, my dear.

- Splendid, Anastasia, splendid.

- Splendid, Anastasia.

Isn't it wonderful you could wrap

up the picture on your birthday?

- On your birthday too.

- Oh, T.P.

- It is your birthday, isn't it?

- It is your birthday?

- How did you find out?

- We haVe ways, Anastasia.

- Oh, yes, we haVe ways, Anasta...

- Don't we, Sneak?

- Yes, T.P., we haVe...

- Go fetch the champagne and hurry.

The present.

I'll get the present, T.P.

A little surprise, darling.

Bring this!

Turn the cameras,

keep them rolling.

Roll them.

Ladies and gentlemen...

...this is Anastasia Anastasia's

birthday.

Happy birthday to you,

from... me and the crew.

Happy birthday, Anastasia.

Now, let's drink up that brew.

Thank you, T.P.

And thank you, all of you.

You're all so nice and wonderful.

I would like to make

a sincere and honest toast.

And here's to a fond farewell,

my loVe,

for we shall never again meet,

at least...

- But I...

- Anastasia, darling.

Never make a toast

with an empty glass.

Let me fill it, and then the toast.

Oh, why, of course.

How stupid of me.

Open that, will you, son?

Yes. Yes, ma'am.

Oh, no!

Oh, you crazy kid!

No! No!

No!

What's going on here?

What's so funny?

Come on, tell me so I can laugh too.

It's absolutely the funniest thing

I've seen in my entire life.

What is? What's the funniest thing?

- What haVe you all been looking at?

- Your errand boy, that nutty kid, Morty.

That's the best comedy performance

I've seen on the screen in years.

"Performance"?

From that errand boy?

That's right, a performance,

the likes of which I've never seen.

So our little New York

Method director,

that's the best thing he's ever seen?

Yes, Mr. Paramutual.

The likes of which I've never seen.

And just who are you?

Just who are you, one of those

"I've been making pictures

for 30 years" kind of guys?

That's not enough

of a criterion for me.

You could haVe been making

those pictures wrong.

Let me tell you something.

And it might be wise

for you to remember it.

Anyone in the world would giVe

anything to do a performance...

...because...

Because performing

is nothing more than

a form of expression.

But not everyone is capable of...

Of expressing themselVes

openly and freely.

And therefore, only a few,

only a Very few are chosen...

Chosen to communicate

and express for the millions that...

That either can't, don't know how

or would never get

the opportunity to do so.

And those few that are chosen

are called actors.

But they're still people.

And I might add, a...

A Very special kind of people.

Yes, Mr. Paramutual,

that was a performance.

And giVen by one who can

express what he feels,

whether it be dramatic or comic,

because he communicates.

Yes, he communicates.

And that's the Vitally important

substance that makes great stars.

With this kid, Mr. Paramutual,

you've not only got a potential

great star and comedy find...

...you've got a gold mine.

- Oh, this is preposterous.

- Oh, it is, huh?

Well, you can thank your lucky stars

that he's working for you,

because right in the palm

of your hand, you got...

Right in the palm of your hand,

you haVe star material.

Someone who can

make people laugh.

Now that's a quality

that's difficult to define,

but nonetheless,

it's there on that screen.

And this kid will make you a fortune.

More money than even you'll know

what to do with, sir.

"Performance". "Star material".

"Gold mine".

"Fortune"?

Sneak.

Get that boy, Morty, here, will you?

Hurry up.

HaVe you forgotten, T. P?

You had him thrown

off the lot, remember?

Oh, Great White Idiot.

Yeah, yeah. All right, all right,

I'm an idiot.

But please, Sneak, go get that boy,

will you? We need that boy.

Get him yourself, bigmouth.

Yeah, I'm a bigmouth,

but let's get that boy,

I need him, awful bad.

Now, you know, I like him like a son.

Hello, Helen.

Hi, how are you?

Hi, Bob.

Saw your picture last night, Morty.

It was great.

Thank you, Stark.

- Babe. Woe.

- Babe. Woe.

- Sen. Tall.

- Sen. Tall.

- Babewoesentall.

- Baywumpenbum.

No, no, you didn't get it.

Hi. Hello.

Oh, good. You learned how to...

Very nice.

Oh, see you. Bye.

I mean, hello...

Hello, Helen, Lorraine. Portland.

Hi. Hi. Hello there.

Hi. LoVe you, loVe you.

LoVe you. Hi.

Well, I'll be a son of a gun.

What's that kid doing?

Hey, kid!

You're doing that all wrong.

I mean, I don't like to tell you your

business, but I started this way.

Let me just come up here a second,

I'll show you what it's...

Let me show you how to do this.

It's a Very difficult job,

unless you do it right.

Here, don't panic. Wait.

Hold it.

I used to do this.

I mean, that's how I started.

You don't mind if I help you

or show you?

Because you're getting it all

Very mixed-up.

You gotta do this with patience.

I'll watch whatever you show me.

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