The Escort Page #6

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Yeah.

Okay, Dad.

Oh, have you gone

to any of those meetings

that Dr. Polanski

suggested for the sex thing?

- No, I didn't.

- You really might want to go.

He can help you.

- 3 1/2.

- Can you do that?

Okay, no big.

Hey, just text us when

you get picked up, all right?

I'll get a ride home

from one of the girls.

- Have fun.

- Thanks.

Hey, thanks for being

so cool at dinner tonight.

I know my dad

can be a little much.

No, they're cool.

I had fun.

Although, if you do

get this job,

don't tell your dad

that I'm your prostitute muse.

It'll break his heart.

I really think

he likes you.

I know.

So, uh...you probably

want to go home now.

What, are you kicking me out?

No, no,

I'm just saying here's your out,

if you want it.

Yeah, what I want to do is

I want to drink wine

on the porch of that giant

f***ing Scarface mansion.

That's what I want to do.

Then let's do that.

Why do you go to a bar

to pick up guys?

Why don't you have, like,

an online profile?

I'm not a fan

of the Internet.

That's trending

downwards anyway,

so I wouldn't worry

about it.

No, really,

why are you an escort?

And I don't want

to hear any bullshit

about how bad

the economy is.

You could do

anything you want.

- I can't get a job.

- Bullshit.

I don't believe that.

Okay, look,

this is off the record.

- Okay.

- No, I'm serious.

You cannot put this

in the article.

Okay.

When I was a senior

in college,

I made a list of the guys

that I had sex with

in school,

and I put it into

this PowerPoint presentation

with pictures and things

like dick size estimates,

and, I mean,

it was awesome.

And I forwarded it

to a bunch

of my girlfriends

as a stupid joke.

Was there, like,

a lot of guys on this list?

What's a lot?

I don't know, like,

20s, 30...9--

There was a lot.

I was in college.

I enjoy sex,

and I don't think

that that is anything

to be ashamed of.

But one of my a**hole friends

decides to forward it

to one of her guy friends,

who forwards it

to one of his guy friends,

and before you know it,

it's hit all the major blogs,

The Huffington Post.

Piers Morgan

was gracious enough

to use me

as an example on CNN

in supporting his claim

that our selfie generation

is the demise

of civilization

as we know it.

I remember reading

about this.

- That was me.

- That's you?

That's me.

Try getting a job

when every Google search

of your name has the word

"whore" next to it.

I figure, if I'm gonna

be called a whore,

I might as well

get paid like one.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Everybody's got something,

I guess.

No, but that's, like,

a big something.

Thanks, dick.

- What's up?

- Oh, sh*t.

Uh, we got to go

pick up Emily.

- What the--

- What happened?

The girls wouldn't stop

calling me Ice Box,

and now I feel sick too.

I just want to go home.

They called you what?

Ice Box, the girl

who plays football

in the Little Giants.

Little Giants,

that's pretty funny.

No, it's not funny at all.

Why are they so mean to me?

- What did I do wrong?

- You know what?

I'm gonna say something.

Nobody bullies my little sister.

- No, I got this.

- No, you don't have to.

No, I got this.

She looks like

one tough motherf***er.

Language.

But yeah.

You're not what I expected.

- Oh, sh*t.

- What?

That's the wrong house.

Listen, you little b*tch,

I knew girls like you

in high school,

and you know

what happened to them?

Come on.

You better get

your sh*t together

and stop picking on other girls.

You don't make yourself taller

by standing on the toes

of others, got it?

Dad?

Yeah, go ahead.

Call your daddy.

I'd like to have a word

with him too.

What?

Hey, you're at the wrong house.

Get back to the car.

Wrong house,

get back to the car.

Let's go.

You couldn't get

in the driver's seat?

My license expired

five years ago.

- Hurry, hurry, hurry.

- I'm going.

Got a ponytail and everything.

Let's go.

Why do I have

to be the getaway driver?

Don't let those girls

get to you.

I wish it were that easy.

They're threatened by you.

You're on the football team,

getting to spend

all that intimate time

with all the cute guys

that they have crushes on.

And they're not confident,

so they try and make you

feel as sad as they do.

You really think that?

Yup, and if you let them

get to you,

then they've won.

Do you want to go

to my bedroom?

My bedroom's upstairs,

if you want to go to sleep.

Your bedroom's upstairs?

Is that what you said?

Yeah, you can sleep up there.

I'll sleep here on the couch.

Look, we have to sleep

in the same bedroom

if your dad's gonna think

we're dating.

I'm being a gentleman.

Don't be weird.

- I am not being weird.

- You're totally being weird.

- I'm not being weird.

- Okay, shh.

You need help there, Shrek?

That was really sweet,

what you did for Emily tonight.

Even if it meant

making a harmless girl cry.

There are no harmless

high school girls.

You really took charge.

Sometimes you got

to read a situation

and take the bull

by the horns.

When was the last time

you kissed a guy off the job?

I don't kiss guys on the job.

When was your last kiss?

I don't know,

it's been a while.

Any new techniques

I should know about?

So you're there

From the mirror's other side

So you can feel truth see

Through you

Come inside

Whoa oh oh

- See you later?

- Yeah.

Your wounds will heal

Whoa oh oh

And all is revealed

Hey, Mitch.

But what would we know

of the sentient life?

I want you to have this.

What is it?

I overheard your conversation

with your dad.

- No, I-I can't take this.

- No, no, take it.

You'll pay me back

after you get your new job.

From the mirror's other side

Just take it.

So you can feel

Uh, what--

hey, so what are you doing now?

Uh, run home and then I have

an appointment at the clinic,

you know,

the one over on Grand Avenue?

Yeah, yeah, I like that one.

Comfortable waiting room chairs

over there.

Yeah, they're a little worn

for my liking,

but it's not as bad

as the one on Wilshire.

No, those are bad.

- Um...

- Go already.

Hey, uh...

Thank you.

It only wants,

it only wants us all

Come inside

Whoa oh oh

So we can feel

Whoa oh oh

That all is revealed

Whoa oh oh

Come inside

Whoa oh oh

So we can feel

Whoa oh oh

Your heart out of steel

But what would we know

of the sentient life?

We only know,

we only know a lie

It only wants,

it only wants us all

Can I read that

when you're done?

What are you doing here?

You said how much

you hated these places, so...

I didn't want you

to be alone.

What is--

This looks depressing.

How long you been here?

Hours.

Hitting the clinic, huh?

Quite a thoughtful gesture

for a work associate.

I'm a--I'm a good friend,

you know?

I'm helping you build

this desk, aren't I?

Yeah.

Your dad know about this escort?

He's met her, yeah,

but he--he doesn't, like,

know what she does.

And you're not gonna tell him.

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