The Extendables Page #6

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VD, you are the disease.

And you, and you

alone are the cure.

I am the disease

and I am the cure.

That was my line, he changed it.

He was joking.

Joke's on you.

VD, where are you going?

I'll be back.

We have to finish the movie.

People are supposed

to say no to me,

you wanna say no to me?

Okay, umm, no, no!

You cannot leave set.

F*** you.

You want to say no?

To me?

To the great VD?

You should say no to me.

What, did I get some on my face?

What, what, what are you doing?

My dick says no to me.

Stop this!

Stop it!

Who is it?

Maria.

Hi.

Hi baby.

What are you doing here?

Well I wanted to get you

something to remember me by.

Oh thank you, Maria.

I didn't think maybe

you were gonna actually

go shopping for me.

What is it?

Well open it.

Oh!

You didn't get this at a store.

No, I didn't.

Props had an extra one.

You like?

I love you.

Awww, honey you know

it's not love, it's location.

I know.

But it's still sad

to see you go anyway.

Aww, it was fun.

Yeah.

Bye.

Have fun.

I'll miss your tuckus.

I'll miss yours too.

Maria.

VD, I need you to

focus, are you ready?

I was born ready.

Today is a good day to fly.

Alright, here we go.

On three, two, one.

Oh, look I am Superman!

Ho ho!

And once again, I have saved

New York for the 47th time.

Ahh, wooo!

And I go woooooo...

Oh that's a nice rocket.

Director.

Now do I look like a fish?

Am I the fish?

Woo!

And now, I'm Super, not

yet I'm not Superman.

Oh, we got hung

behind the rocket.

Okay.

You think they

can keep hoisting him

right out of building?

Oh I think they have something

even better than

even that planned.

Woo!

Whoa!

That was a little bit

too fast there, Mark.

I'm a-spinning like that

little thing with the horses,

the round one.

I, I think the balance is off.

I'm a-stuck-ed here.

Uh, let's take me down.

Hey, yeah we're on it VD.

Bring it down!

It's uncomfortable.

I don't, I don't feel so good.

Oh, I feel all sweaty.

I told Louie I

did not want the fish.

VD are you all right?

Okay I think I'm, I feel

better actually I'm Okay.

But get me down.

Oh God.

I don't feel so good.

Oh God, my arm

hurts, GET ME DOWN!

My arm!

Can we get him down?

VD, VD, here.

VD, talk to me.

Talk to me.

Get in here, come

on come on come on!

That was a puke smell.

I think I know what it is.

What?

The uh, the tattoo, the talons.

Yeah?

I think it's a

straight shot into his

subconscious, he knows.

What?

He knows that he

is controlled by his dick.

And his dick is controlled

by some winged thing

in the sky that he has

no control over, some

winged, whimsical beast

that has pulled him

and yanked him and the talons

are deep into his flesh,

and he can't control

it, and it's like he's

telling his dick that he knows.

It's a concession of sorts.

He's conceding to his dick.

He was blown out

of his mind and uh,

probably picked

the wrong picture.

No, he knows.

It's a recognition

of your own faults.

You know it actually

takes a lot of, he may

have more insight than we think.

You know, God damn,

the tattoo, I like it.

Son of a b*tch knows!

He knows!

Can I get a

gurney in here, please?

Let's go, move it in.

Here we go, here we go.

Get him off, get him off.

Let's go, let's go let's go!

How 'bout some help, Ivan!

We got it.

Clear!

Do you believe in karma?

Well, yeah, but it's

not often you get to see

the big wheel go all the

way around in one lifetime.

I know you're

liking his tattoo, but uh,

he shits on everybody.

His wife, his children, he

probably shits on his own dog.

Hey, don't wrap up!

This is not a wrap!

We will shoot the

scene with doubles.

Not today!

No no no!

Get his body off of here!

We are going to shoot

the scene with...

No!

Oh, now she says no.

NO!

NO!!!

What happen-ed?

I was, I was Peter Pan,

and I was doing the flying,

and I saw Neverland, and

Tinkerbell was calling,

and there was the

fippy-fippy thing.

God my mouth tastes like

sh*t, could I have some water?

Water!

Louie's supplying it.

VD please, just lay back down.

Oh thank you.

We gotta get

you to the hospital.

What?

We gotta get

you to the hospital.

We have a movie to make!

VD, you just had a heart attack!

What?!

You had a heart attack.

Oh that is bullshit.

Whoa.

Sue?

Sue!

Okay.

Alright.

Alright, to the trailer!

VD, we must get this shot!

Does he listen to anybody?

No.

It's working!

1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky

Starring in the next movie

that I make, Salma Hayek.

Adios!

Salma, call me!

Yes, Mr.

Duseldorfer directed much

of what you will

see tonight, plus

he will direct the sequel,

Hardest Time on Mars.

Starting next month.

He is a natural.

Behind and in front, oh.

Vardell, Vardell!

VD, tell us about rehab.

VD, are you single?

You stay up all night

thinking of that questions,

huh, you you you you, you

go to many colleges, huh

to uh, think up questions

like that to ask in front

of a man with a

wife and a family?

I tell you this, we make movies.

Yes.

You make great ones, Vardell!

You, you you you make

opinions, which is like

that, that that joke, that

everyone has one of huh?

You use that to make

a questions, too?

I tell you this, Mr.

Reporter, your words

they will be read for a

few day, Hard Time on Mars

will be watched forever!

I thought one of

you geniuses would uh,

ask me about rehab, so I

prepared a little answer.

I tell you this.

Re, re, re-rehab, it's a

little embarrassing but

like pie in the face, it's

a part of show business!

Ha ha!

All part of show business!

Sir Jeffrey, stick

with me, we just became

the photo op of the week.

Oh!

You think I left rehab

three times to get high?

Every time it made

the front page!

Tell your lazy ass agent

to send me a thank you.

Are you ready to do this?

Oh yes, all right.

Okay.

Ready?

Three, two, one.

Oh there you are.

That's how we did

Hard Time on Mars.

Hard Time on Mars!

Hard Time on Mars by

Gooding and Brian Thompson

VD, it's pie in face,

it's part of show business.

It's pie in face, it's

part of show business.

I, I don't know

what to say I'm...

I'm really very moved.

The Greek salad

olives and tomatoes.

Boss says you

should come wit' us.

Hey Poncho, suck on this.

Hey you come to my restaurant,

I get the best domates,

tzatziki, salad, you

come with me, come on.

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