The Family Fang Page #3

to get a little loopy again.

You know? And I know the good

offers aren't coming in.

But you can't panic

about it.

I can get back on track.

I can, Sally.

I don't think you can.

You know, you have the impulse

control of a 2-year-old.

Look...

Were you drinking again?

No.

Listen, if you are,

I know a couple places.

I'm not drinking.

I just... I need a project.

I mean, what about the start

date on "Powers the Bee 3"?

Have we got that yet?

You're going to have to talk

to Gordon about that.

Why?

- Why? Because he's your agent.

I think you should

hear it from him.

- Hear what?

- Oh, God.

What?

They offered "Lady Lightning"

to Alison Cane.

- Okay.

- Mm-hmm.

Well, that's a bummer.

- Come on, Annie.

Look at this as a good thing.

You don't have to wear

that ridiculous costume anymore.

I love that costume.

- Ugh!

We'll get you a better one.

In the meantime,

I think you need

to take a step back.

I think you just have to have

a real sit-down with yourself.

I don't even know

what that means.

Bad world

It's unforgiving

Kill all parents

so you can keep living

Kill all parents

So you can keep living

Kill them, kill them,

kill them dead

[applause]

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

That was a song I wrote myself,

called, "Kill All Parents."

We appreciate any donations you

can spare for our dog Cornelius.

You ready?

One, two, three.

Don't eat the bone

Don't eat the bone,

it will make you sick

You guys... you guys

are terrible!

- Hey, man, they're trying

to perform. What's your problem?

- Be quiet.

Let those kids be.

- Let the kids perform.

- I mean, this is... bad.

This is horrible.

I'm sorry. You suck.

- No, he's right.

You guys are awful.

She knows what

she's talking about.

You should learn

how to play your instruments,

not just hold them

and pound them.

We can't afford lessons.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I hurt your feelings?

Because I want to kill myself,

it's that bad.

You're probably killing

your dog with your music.

This will be great

for my documentary on crap.

- All right, keep playing, kids.

Keep playing.

- Do not listen to them.

- What, you like this?

You need to get

your ears checked, blondie.

You like these kids?

I hope you don't have

any kids.

I hope your uterus

shriveled up!

- No, I'm not taking this.

- Give me the camera.

You have to get it.

Give me the camera.

- There you go.

That's the show.

That's the show.

Oh, yeah!

Nice.

Oh! Oh, you were awful.

- Awful!

- Awful!

- I have never heard...

- Camera and the footage

all destroyed.

But I don't care!

I don't care.

That was just for us.

You were amazing.

I have never been prouder.

(all)

Kill all the parents

So you can keep living

Kill them, kill them,

kill them, kill them

Yeah!

[dramatic music]

- Sorry we're late. Sorry.

- You're late.

- I had a sign and everything.

You had to get your own bag.

Thank you for coming.

Well, we're going

to take care of you.

Yeah. You need

taking care of too?

- Yeah.

- You okay?

How's your ear?

It's... it's better

than it was yesterday.

- Oh, God.

- Look at these two.

- Hey.

- Welcome home.

- Look at how skinny you are.

- What's with the bandages?

Well, did you see

your brother's ear?

We wanted to play along.

Oh, you look

so beautiful.

- We brought you a neck brace.

Look at this.

- Oh, oh, here.

- Come on.

- I'm not putting that on.

- Brand-new. Never been used.

So, hey, what's the plan?

Daddy.

- Sorry, Annie.

What's the plan, Annie?

- I don't know.

I'm just here for Baxter.

Oh, we're all here for Baxter.

- Whatever Baxter needs.

- This is a place of healing.

- Mm-hmm.

- That's great.

I just need someone

to take me shopping.

Not a lot of great options

in your closet, Dad.

Go lighter on those pills,

sweetheart.

My ear hurts pretty bad, Mom.

What about you?

Anything you're itching to do

while you're back?

Mm, I'm just going

to take it easy.

Do a little yoga.

Some reflection.

- Ooh, reflection.

- Yeah.

Apparently I have some

bad habits that I have to break.

Don't do that.

Your bad habits

are my favorite thing about you.

Yeah, but I think that's part

of the problem, Daddy.

Hey, speaking of,

we saw your titty shots.

- Holy sh*t.

- They were wonderful.

- [sighs]

- Jesus Christ.

Hey, it's about time you

started playing with the idea

of celebrity in the female form

as viewed objects.

That's not what

I was doing.

Of course it is,

whether you know it or not.

You could take the girl

out of the art,

but you cannot take the art

out of the girl.

Well...

I'm still an artist, Daddy.

That's what I just said.

- Yeah, actors.

Actors are artists.

- Yes. Didn't I say

I like your titty shot?

We both liked them

very much.

You have beautiful breasts,

sweetheart.

[bangs table]

- Okay, that's it!

Can we not talk about

the titty shots anymore, please?

And we can stop saying

titty shots, everybody.

To Fangs.

Together again.

That's how it should be.

Waited a long time for this.

Cheers.

Titty shots.

Titty.

- Titty.

- Dad.

- Titty!

- Ugh, Dad...

- [laughs]

- Ridiculous.

[inaudible]

[sighs]

I was better back then.

[sighs]

- It was so simple.

- Yeah.

They just told us

what to do.

[sighs]

When did it get

so complicated?

Don't you know?

No.

- Smother Beach.

Come here.

Smother Beach.

Baxter...

You never sold the urgency

in this one.

Thank God your sister

improvised a bit.

Your mother nearly died

out there.

Baxter was perfect.

Perfect.

What do you got on?

Mind your business.

I'll make popcorn!

Thank you.

Got something going on

upstairs, huh?

Well, we can

pick it up later.

Nobody told me

it was movie night.

Put another one on

just for the hell of it.

Oh, that's better.

Why are we doing this?

Because need to behave

like healthy people.

It's called acting.

You know? You want to look,

you act the part

before you know

you are that person.

[panting]

- What person?

That person who doesn't

screw things up.

Which means no more Percocet

for you.

No more booze for me.

Yeah, you think

you can do that?

Oh, yeah.

I thought it was nice

last night.

Looking at those old pieces

sitting on the couch together.

What?

You don't see it,

do you?

See what?

Being seduced

by your own parents,

which I think

is kind of gross.

Come on, you're ridiculous.

Let's turn back.

Mom wants us to run

some errands with her.

You think I'm being

ridiculous, huh?

- Yeah.

- You didn't see that?

You didn't pick up

on any of that?

- No.

- Come on.

What kind of errands?

I want to do some yoga

after this.

- Let's go.

Let's run uphill.

You want to be that person,

that person runs uphill.

- [panting]

- Come on.

Yeah, I'll...

I'll run uphill.

- Uh-oh.

- Come on!

Ow.

Mmm, so where are we going?

To the amusement park.

We're running an errand

at the amusement park?

Why are we going there?

The Denver MCA wants me

to create a new piece.

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