The Family Man Page #10

JACK (CONT’D)

Uh...that baby’s crying...

KATE:

(unimpressed)

And...?

...her expression makes Jack turn his gaze from her

naked body.

KATE (CONT’D)

Don’t give me that look,

Jack, Tuesday’s your day

and you know it. And try

to get Josh to day care

on time, okay? He missed

the macaroni painting

last week...

She closes the curtain and turns the radio back up.

CUT TO:

50INT. JOSH’S ROOM - MORNING

Annie’s watching from a baby-size Laz-E-Boy lounger

as...

Jack, in a robe, stands in front of a changing table,

Josh laying happily on his back, playing with a set of

plastic keys.

Jack takes a fresh Huggies diaper and puts it next to

the baby. He surveys Josh, scratching his chin and

rubbing his hands like Indiana Jones. Josh playfully

grabs at Jack’s nose.

He looks over to Annie. She’s still staring at him

like he’s a Martian. He looks at the instructions on

the box of Huggies.

JACK:

Pull tape...

Jack searches the diaper for the tabs of tape, then

gingerly pulls them apart, releasing the diaper from

the baby’s bottom, and seeing what’s inside.

JACK (CONT’D)

Holy mother of god!

Jack holds the diaper out away from him, searching for

a place to put it. Annie points to a Diaper Genie by

the dresser.

Jack throws the diaper in, then quickly replaces the

lid. Annie points to the container of Baby Wipes.

JACK (CONT’D)

You must be kidding...

Annie stares at him a beat. Then...

ANNIE:

You’re not really our

dad, are you?

Jack turns to her. She’s looking back at him with

complete earnestness. They stare at each other another

moment. Then...

JACK:

No, I’m not.

A look of curiosity from Annie.

JACK (CONT’D)

I work on Wall Street,

you know with the big

buildings...?

No response from Annie...

JACK (CONT’D)

I live in an apartment

house with a doorman, I

can buy just about

anything I want...

Annie nods at Jack, still suspicious.

JACK (CONT’D)

This isn’t my real life.

It’s just a glimpse...

ANNIE:

Where’s my real dad?

JACK:

I don’t know...

A concerned look on Annie’s face, Jack’s petrified that

she’s about to cry.

JACK (CONT’D)

But don’t worry, he loves

you and I’m sure he’ll be

back very soon...

(to himself)

...very, very soon...

Annie approaches Jack, climbing up on a little chair

and tugging firmly at his hair.

ANNIE:

They did a pretty good

job.

JACK:

Who did?

ANNIE:

The aliens...In the

mother ship. You look

just like him.

JACK:

Uhh...thanks...slightly

better looking though,

right?

Annie’s now stone faced, trying to decide about Jack.

JACK (CONT’D)

You’re not going to start

crying, are you? Because

I’m not really sure I

could deal with that

right now.

She thinks about it for a moment.

ANNIE:

Do you like kids?

JACK:

On a case by case

basis...

ANNIE:

You know how to make

chocolate milk?

JACK:

I think I could figure it

out.

ANNIE:

You promise not to kidnap

me and my brother and

implant stuff in our brains?

JACK:

Sure.

Beat. Then...a smile from Annie.

ANNIE:

Welcome to earth.

51INT. MINI-VAN - MORNING

Jack’s driving, Annie buckled in the front seat...

Josh, in the baby seat, looks like he was dressed by

monkeys – his shirt buttons are off by one, and they’re

clearly supposed to be in the back.

ANNIE:

Stop here...

Jack stops the van outside the Playland Day Care

Center.

ANNIE (CONT’D)

This is day care. It’s

where babies go when

their parents are at

work.

JACK:

Check...

He gets out of the van...

52EXT. MINI-VAN - CONTINUOUS

...he pulls Josh out and walks quickly toward the

building, holding the baby away from his body.

He gets to the door and holds Josh out to the DAY CARE

LADY. She stares at Josh’s outfit...

JACK:

Do I get a receipt or

something...?

The woman looks at Jack like he’s crazy.

53EXT. YMCA - A FEW MINUTES LATER

The mini-van pulls up to the drop-off point at this

suburban New Jersey Y. Annie opens the door.

ANNIE:

I have winter camp until

four, then ballet until

five thirty.

JACK:

Five thirty. Okay.

ANNIE:

Try not to be late

because kids don’t like

to be the last one picked

up.

JACK:

Got it. Good tip.

ANNIE:

Bye...

CHAPTER SEVEN - A TIRE SALESMAN

Jack watches her as she runs toward the building.

Then...

JACK:

(calling out window)

Hey! Annie!

Annie turns back toward him.

JACK (CONT’D)

Where do I go now?

ANNIE:

Big Ed’s.

JACK:

Big Ed’s? Big Ed’s

Tires?

(suspicious)

Why...?

ANNIE:

That’s where you work.

A beat. Then...

JACK:

You mean I sell tires...

She shrugs her shoulders and walks off.

JACK (CONT’D)

That’s what I do. I’m a

tire salesman...

CUT TO:

54INT. MINI-VAN - A LITTLE LATER

Jack’s driving down a busy commercial street when he

spots something a hundred yards down the road...

JACK:

Good Lord...

...a huge, three-story-tall plastic likeness of Big Ed

Reynolds, ten gallon hat, lassoing a tire...

55EXT. BIG ED’S TIRES - MOMENTS LATER

Jack approaches Big Ed’s from the parking lot...slowly,

taking it all in...

It’s like a Pep Boys with a Texas theme. A big retail

store for tires and auto parts, and a repair bay for

everything from alignments to brake jobs...

Jack walks to the tire bay where HECTOR, 40s, a

Guatemalan mechanic in grease-stained coveralls, stands

with TOMMY the salesman.

TOMMY:

Hey Jack, you happen to

know the stock number on

those new Michelin X1's?

JACK:

Uh...lemme get back to

you on that one...

(looking at his

name tag)

Tommy...

HECTOR:

(to Tommy)

Thomas, why you bother

Jack about that. Look it

up yourself...

(to Jack)

Okay Jack, we talk

later...

Jack nods amiably then continues into the store...

56INT. BIG ED’S TIRES - CONTINUOUS

Jack walks in...looks around...the store is teeming

with activity, a post-holiday sale in progress...

Big Ed, in his signature ten gallon hat, sees Jack from

behind the counter...

BIG ED:

Jack my boy! You are

looking mighty worse for

the wear...Hey, guess who

I played bridge with two

nights ago...?

Jack stares blankly at Big Ed...

BIG ED (CONT’D)

Hell, you’ll never

guess. One Sydney

Potter. That’s Sydney

Potter, Chief Executive

Officer of BuyRite

Transport. Only the

third largest trucking

company in the state. I

even let the sonuvabitch

win, which wasn’t easy

because the guy’s been

bashed in the head by

Teamsters so many times

his brain’s like

porridge. Anyhoo, he’s

looking for a new parts

supplier... we can handle

that kind of volume,

right?

Jack considers this briefly.

JACK:

I’m gonna have to get

back to you on that...Ed.

Big Ed makes a gun gesture with his forefinger, winking

at Jack, then turns back to the activity at the counter

as...

Jack spots KENNY, a very young sales associate, walking

by. He reaches out and taps Kenny on the shoulder.

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