The Family Man Page #9

...Evelyn licks her fingers suggestively then hands

Jack the entire tray with a sexy smile...

A raised eyebrow from Kate, still watching...

EVELYN:

Mushroom puffs aren’t the

only thing I do well...

JACK:

Well do whatever it is

you do well, and

just...just do it.

Excuse me...

Evelyn nods as Jack walks toward the staircase...

Kate follows Jack with her eyes as he climbs the

stairs...

43INT. THOMPSON HOUSE, DEN - NIGHT

Jack is sitting on the arm of a couch filled with

guests’ coats, talking on a FOOTBALL SHAPED

telephone...the tray of mushroom puffs on the table...

JACK:

(loudly, into phone)

...what do you mean he

won’t come to the phone?!

(standing, indignant)

Do you realize how much

money I’ve made for that

sonuvabitch in the last

eight years?!

Click. A dial tone. Jack slams the phone down...

JACK (CONT’D)

Damnit!

He slams the phone again...and again...and again...

KATE (O.S.)

Jack...?

Jack turns, sees Kate standing in the doorway, watching

him take his frustrations out on the phone, concern on

her face.

KATE:

Are you sure you’re

okay...?

A forced smile from Jack.

JACK:

Yes, I’m fine. It’s just

this god awful football

phone! Who has a phone

like this anyway?!

KATE:

(doubtful)

Uh huh...

Kate notices the tray of mushroom puffs on the table.

KATE (CONT’D)

You must really love

Evelyn’s mushroom puffs,

huh?

(with a wink)

You know they’re not

real...

She turns and leaves...Jack looks at her, confused...

44INT. THOMPSON HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - A LITTLE LATER

Jack comes down the stairs, a lost look in his eyes.

He looks across the room and sees...

Kate, with a group of GUESTS, looking great in her

jeans and white blouse, the center of attention.

Jack passes through the guests, people waving to him,

slapping him on the back as he approaches Kate...

He catches Kate’s eye...she gives him a subtle smile.

KATE:

(to guests)

...then she asks me to

put this sweater on.

What choice do I have,

right?

Jack watches as Kate charms the crowd...

KATE (CONT’D)

But as I’m slipping it on

I notice she’s misspelled

the word “lawyers.”

(laughing)

I had to go through the

entire day wearing a hand

embroidered sweater that

said, “Non-Profit Layers

Do It For Free.”

The guests laugh again. Even Jack finds himself

laughing, until...

JACK:

(to Kate, off-hand)

So you’re a lawyer...?

A chuckle from the group. Kate’s confused.

JACK (CONT’D)

A non-profit lawyer...

People are starting to LAUGH.

KATE:

(a little embarrassed)

Jack...

JACK:

Pro bono. You don’t get

paid at all. Nobody

makes a dime. Well,

bravo...

Blank stares from everyone, including Kate...

CUT TO:

45INT. CAMPBELL HOUSE, FOYER - LATE NIGHT

Kate and Jack walk in the front door...the dog greets

them happily, jumping up on Jack, a weary look on his

face.

KATE:

I better go wake my

mother...

Kate grabs a leash off a hook and hands it to Jack.

KATE (CONT’D)

Here you go...

JACK:

You’re kidding me...

KATE:

She’s your dog, Jack.

JACK:

No, she’s not.

KATE:

Fine, she’s the kid’s

dog. Let’s go wake Josh,

see if he wants to walk

her.

JACK:

But it’s twenty degrees

outside...

KATE:

(sympathetic)

You’re having a bad day,

I’ll go with

you...actually, there’s

no way in hell you’re

gettin’ me back out

there...

Jack looks at the dog’s face. Lucy couldn’t be more

excited. Finally, Jack shakes his head and takes the

leash.

KATE (CONT’D)

(heading up the

stairs)

Make sure you reward her

verbally when she does a

number two...

CUT TO:

46EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - LATE NIGHT

The sound of CRICKETS.

Jack, wearing a down jacket, is being dragged down the

street by Lucy, his breath condensing in the cold

winter air. The dog sniffs at a hydrant and a couple

of garbage cans, but isn’t doing her business.

JACK:

Figure it out...I’m s

crewed...don’t have to

be a genius to figure

that out...

The dog stops, sniffing at a manicured lawn...

JACK (CONT’D)

(to Lucy)

It’s as good a place as

any...

But the dog keeps moving, pulling Jack with her.

JACK (CONT’D)

...but obviously not up

to your high standards...

(to himself)

Okay...he said you’re

working on a new deal

now...fine, you’ve done a

thousand deals, what’s

the first thing you do?

Lucy’s sniffing around someone’s Christmas display but

Jack’s too wrapped up in his thought process to notice.

JACK (CONT’D)

Triage. It’s your

signature. You survey

the damage, find out

everything you can, you

probe, leave nothing to

chance. I’m just gonna

have to go detective.

How did you get

Mentadent? You learned

everything there was to

know about toothpaste and

then you pounced...

Jack narrows his eyes, thinking about that deal...

JACK (CONT’D)

That’s our play here...

Resolute, Jack turns to the dog.

JACK (CONT’D)

If you could take a dump

some time in this

century, then we could go

home where it’s warm...

Jack looks around at the unfamiliar houses...

JACK (CONT’D)

That is if I can even

remember how to get

home...

(to Lucy)

You remember, don’t you

girl?

But the dog ignores him, dragging Jack along...

47INT. CAMPBELL HOUSE BEDROOM - LATE NIGHT

Kate is in bed, fast asleep.

Jack walks into the room, his face still red from the

cold outside. He looks over at Kate, sleeping happily.

He takes off his shirt and khakis, laying them neatly

on the chair. He looks over at the pair of flannel

pajamas folded on the dresser. He shakes his head,

resigned, then dons the pajamas and climbs into bed...

CHAPTER SIX - BEING A PARENT

48INT. CAMPBELL HOUSE BEDROOM - MORNING

Morning light streams into the room. The clock reads,

“7:
14.”

Jack opens his eyes – a burst of light hitting them

from the window...like the morning light in his

Manhattan loft...

He reaches across the bed...it’s empty...

A smile of hope from Jack as he puts his head back on

the pillow...maybe it was only a day...Then...

The sound of a baby CRYING from the next room...A

pained look on Jack’s face as he realizes he’s still in

Jersey.

Now the baby is WAILING...Jack lies still a moment,

hoping it’ll stop...it doesn’t. Then, he hears the

sound of the SHOWER TURN ON in the bathroom.

He gets out of bed and walks to the bathroom...

49INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

The shower is running, a tape player is BLASTING “Beast

of Burden.” Kate is in the shower SINGING LOUDLY with

the song...

JACK:

Hello?

No answer...

JACK (CONT’D)

(louder, over music)

Hello!

KATE:

(singing)

...my feet are hurtin’...

JACK:

(yelling)

HEY!

Finally, the music is turned down and Kate pulls the

shower curtain open...

Jack sees her naked body...raises an eyebrow...that’s

something he’s missed...then...

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