The Fan Page #3

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He's lucky to be in the country.

I hear you. Look, it's your call.

You want me to go back,

or are you happy with 33?

- Man, it's just a number, right?

- That's right.

I'll pick you up.

While you do her, thinkof me.

- That's a real short thought.

- I love you too.

- No, you don't.

- I'll catch you later.

Yeah.

Hey, Gil.

Hey, Ted.

Lose your job?

- It's my day off. And it's "Tim."

- Tim. Sorry.

- You remember Mike and Linda?

- Hey, Gil.

- Hi, Gil.

- Hi.

- You're late. What a surprise.

- Traffic. You know, traffic?

How original.

- Hi, Dad.

- How you doing?

- Good.

- Ready for the game?

- What time will he be home?

- Depends on the game. Right, slugger?

6:
05. He's not home, I call the cops.

I'm against this.

I wanna make that real clear to you.

- He's my kid too.

- Yeah?

Give me kisses. I love you.

- Bye.

- For the record, so everybody knows...

...don't make him do things

he doesn't want to.

I don't. Do I make you do things

you don't want to do?

- No.

- Okay?

Six o'clock, Gil.

Hey, Ted.

See you.

I remember when Mick recorded this,

February '78.

What?

I remember when Mick recorded this

in '78. We had a wild party afterwards.

Jason Pelligrini's dad

says Mick Jagger's gay.

Yeah? Well, Jason Pelligrini's dad

takes it up the ass.

- Tryouts are next week.

- Tryouts are next week?

Your mother didn't tell me.

Jason Pelligrini said his dad's

gonna pick me if I'm still available.

You'll make it. Positive things

happen to positive thinkers.

Tell me, what do you gotta do? What

are the three whats you gotta be?

- I don't want to do this, Dad.

- At bat, come on.

- Keep the bat low.

- No, keep it high, high.

- When you move your feet?

- Step on the eggshell...

...and squash the bug.

- Attaboy. That's perfect.

That's what Coop used to say.

I told you about what Coop said, right?

- Your old catcher, right?

- One of the finest athletes I ever knew.

Where'd you get that glove?

Tim gave it to me.

Piece of sh*t.

Opening day at

Candlestick Park, 1996.

What's not to love

about opening day?

Fathers sneaking away from work,

and kids playing hooky from school.

For at least one day,

everybody is in first place.

Opening day is what baseball's about.

How exciting is it...

...for Giants fans

with Rayburn coming hom"e..."

... after leading the Braves

to a championship?

Did you see that?

See the way he moved his legs?

- Can I have a hot dog?

- A what?

Can I have a hot dog?

You're in my seat.

If it isn't the ubiquitous

queen of AM radio herself.

Good morning, my sweet angel,

darling, baby.

Oh, yeah, whatever.

Manny, come on, don't dick me around.

It's an important piece, okay?

There's somebody there behind

that killer smile. I promis"e..."

...I will not hurt your boy.

I want Bobby Rayburn.

Bernie, correct me if I'm wrong...

...but isn't she the ball-buster

who had the temerity to ask my client...

...if he was honestly worth 40 million?

- Am I a ball-buster?

- Yeah.

Thank you.

- Whose is this?

- It's mine. I spit in it.

I thought your mother

confiscated that.

She did.

Play ball!

Yeah, attaway!

Strike.

What are you doing? You missed it.

Hawkins struck him out.

- Pay attention.

- I'm sorry, Dad.

Blaze winds, and the pitch to Pryor...

...swung on and driven deep

towards the gap.

He crushed it!

- Watch, watch, watch.

- What?

I got it!

I got it!

Primo and Rayburn giving chase.

They converge and"..."

Lookout!

Centre field makes the calls.

Fundamental of baseball,

centre field makes the calls.

Pay attention.

Well, a scary moment on day one.

I'll tell you, Rayburn's slow getting up.

And Primo's still slow getting up.

There's $40 million out there

in centre field, Steve.

Hope the Giants have

collision coverage.

This will help relieve the pain.

- Doc, is the rib bruised or fractured?

- Neither.

Bobby, what are you doing?

We got 161 games to go out there.

Could you excuse me for a minute?

Thank you. You just signed

a $40 million contract.

Hurt yourself, you'll be batting

.100 by month's end.

The media'll turn on you

faster than the fans.

- Listen, you gotta come out.

- I can't.

I gotta be Babe- f***ing-Ruth.

It's William-f***ing-Bendix.

Get it right.

- You having fun?

- Yeah.

I'm just gonna make some phone calls.

Okay? Just business calls. I'll be back.

- Go?

- Just downstairs for a minute.

Mom said we have to be home by 6,

or she'll be upset.

Forget about your mother.

I got it!

The wind took it. The wind took it.

Kid was lucky.

Kid was lucky.

Wind took it.

- You stepped on me.

- Don't worry. We'll get one next time.

Okay, I gotta go, all right?

I'll be back.

- You don't have to pee or anything?

- No.

What happened?

Lanz hit one to right. Bases loaded.

Come on, grand slam!

Don't get greedy, son.

What we need now is a sacrifice.

A winning team knows how to

manufacture runs. Coop taught me that.

Know why he said the most

beautiful play is a sacrifice fly?

- You sacrifice for the team?

- And doesn't bring down your average.

That's why baseball's

better than life. It's fair.

Tell me what happens.

Now batting, number 33...

... Bobby Rayburn.

Come on, Bobby!

Attaway, Bobby!

Rayburn look a little stiff to you?

I can't believe they left him in

after that collision.

Right. That's all we need,

our $40 million man on the DL.

He's playing hurt. That's a

man showing his mettle.

Putting the team first. Remember,

last year he hit.314 against lefties.

Yo, Bobby!

- Time!

- Oh, f***.

Come on, let's play some

f***ing baseball!

All right, Bobby, let's go!

Play!

All right, Bobby!

- Go for it, Bobby!

- Go, Bobby!

Bobby!

Hey, buddy...

...you wanna sit down?

Trying to see here.

Go, Bobby!

Come on! Let's go with

the f***ing game! Sh*t!

Strike!

Are you out of your mind, ump?

Are you out of your f***ing mind?

- Hey, sit down.

- Take your hands off me.

- Stop pushing, man!

- Just ask.

- Why the f*** you pushing? I'm asking.

- Both of you, down in front!

- F*** you!

- Down in front! Now!

Let's play some f***ing ball!

You all right?

What's your f***ing problem?

You old busybody!

I gotta go, okay? I'll be back.

F*** you!

Oh, f***.

Get out of here.

So could you just send me

over the stats? Yes.

Okay. Thank you very much.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Your hair looks nice.

- I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid he left.

- He left.

- For the ball game.

- What?

Yes, for the ball game.

- I thought he had a plane to catch.

- Plans changed.

But he did leave you this note.

- He didn't draw a smiley face, did he?

- What?

The previous assistant got him

in the habit of drawing a smiley fac"e..."

...instead of "sincerely," and I keep

telling him it's not always appropriate.

No, it's perfectly appropriate.

Now batting, number 10, Brad Tjader.

Hey, congratulations, fellas.

Hey, Babe- f***ing-Ruth.

- William-f***ing-Bendix.

- That's right.

So did the kid see his home run?

The kid didn't even see it.

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