The Feels Page #2

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and how they feel,

they're going to determine

whose are whose on the banner.

Yours too?

I drew something on there.

Tried.

I guess it's debatable

which it could be.

- Like a nut sack?

- I don't have a chest.

- Like symmetrical moles?

- I should've drawn those.

Be prepared to be perplexed.

I'm wearing

a sports bra, so...

You have to take the bra off.

Hey, you don't gotta

ask me twice.

Oh, my God!

You guys, you guys...

- Aw!

- What's that?

Come here.

- Kitty and Pups.

- Yes.

This was like a thing we had

when we were kids.

Kitty and Pups,

because when I was a kid,

I thought that all kitties

were girls,

and then all dogs,

or pups, were boys.

I mean, I think it's true.

It's the child logic.

The brilliance of childhood.

But being the brilliant

artist he is,

he made me

these comic strip, these...

this anthology

of Kitty and Pups comics.

Every time I had

a really tough day,

he would make me

a Kitty and Pups comic,

and it made me feel better.

And you haven't made me one

in so long!

- Like 20 years or something.

- I'm so happy to see it!

- Very cute!

- Well, it's good.

He hasn't made me one

because I haven't needed it.

Do you still have them even?

You still have any of them?

[phone chime]

[Lu]

You look pretty.

Thank you.

I was thinking of wearing

this white thing.

What do you think?

- I don't know.

- Yeah.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

Oh, it's just Nikki.

She's not gonna...

And what did she say?

She's not gonna make it

to the house,

maybe the restaurant.

You want me to text her

and be like,

"Come on. Don't be a flake.

Don't do what you always do."

Okay, hang on. I can only

talk sh*t about my sister.

Okay, but you talk a lot

of sh*t about her.

I can.

- I can't?

- No.

Oh, is that the contract?

Those are the rules?

Yeah, sign here.

Okay.

Oh, a calligraphy pen.

Wow. Very long signature.

- Yeah.

- Well, we're hyphenated now.

We're modern ladies.

[laughing]

Hey, let's try

to have fun, okay?

All right, I'm gonna go

get dressed.

I was really, um...

I was a little nervous

going into the weekend

just because my best friend

Megan couldn't come,

and I just felt like

I didn't really have

my peeps there,

you know?

So...

But it's fine

'cause she's super pregnant,

and I totally get

not wanting to, you know,

potentially slide one out,

being surrounded by

a bunch of drunk lesbians.

But I'm super grateful that

Helen's here 'cause Helen...

I work with Helen

and she's a delight.

Helen's the sh*t.

I love her so much,

and there's no one...

there's no one like her.

When I first met Andi,

I was really intimidated.

I mean, even just seeing her

across the way,

I was like, "That's a...

That's an attractive,

cool, powerful woman."

But I just would never have the

guts to go up and talk to her.

I just thought it was just

a moment of adoration.

She made a beeline towards me,

and I was just double-checking

like, "Is it me?"

But she was coming right up

to me, and then we were talking,

and it just felt so natural,

and it felt so...

like it's happened before,

that moment.

Like a very dj vu.

I don't... I just knew.

I just... know.

How long does it take

to get pampered up there?

Probably f***ing.

Probably.

You know, people,

they love to f***.

I know.

I came up here and I thought,

"Look at all these pine trees."

Could you imagine

just like outdoor, nature,

you know, like just really

raw dogging it out there?

Yeah, I can.

Raw dogging it out there?

Raw dog in the pines?

Like raw dogging it

in the nature, you know.

Just nothing in-between.

Just you and skin.

- I'd just bump my head.

- I would maybe want a blanket.

Well, that's why

I got Rosie.

- Who's Rosie?

- That's my van.

Yeah, I named it

after my grandma

because she's a little crusty

around the edges.

- You look good in that van.

- Thanks.

- You look good, Vivien.

- Oh, thanks.

- I think you look good.

- I'm sorry.

What's so funny?

What are you giggling about?

You have a great laugh,

a great smile.

- Oh, thanks so much.

- Your hair looks good.

You did yourself up.

You cleaned up nice.

Not to say you were

unclean before.

Well, I think you look nice too.

I like your shirt.

[Krin]

Let's get this party going!

- Who's driving tonight?

- Not me, not me, not me!

- Okay, I'm gonna do it.

- [Josh] You're gonna drive?

Not me.

- [Josh] Pick it. Yes.

- Good vibes.

I wanna get f***ed up.

Me too.

Not me, not me, not me.

- Oh, no, it's not you.

- All right!

It's Helen!

[all cheering]

- Cheers!

- Cheers to tonight!

- To meeting new friends.

- It's nice to meet you guys.

I've heard a lot of good things

about you guys.

Okay, but for real,

whoever's in the back seat,

you're gonna hear like

a noise.

It's coming from

an El Pollo Loco bag.

I don't want you to open it.

Don't be alarmed.

What the f*** is

in that bag?

Don't be alarmed

if you smell ass.

You're gonna smell a lot of that in Rosie.

I'll tell you that much.

[Vivien] Oh, good.

A nice stinky ride.

- Real appetizing.

- [Helen] All right, let's go!

Who's round, brown,

and ready to go to party town?

Come on! Get in Rosie.

Come on, hurry up!

One, two, three, four.

Everybody shut the door.

[laughter]

Wait. What do you mean,

Regular Helen?

- That's what they call me.

- Regular Helen?

We met

in culinary school, man.

So we met in culinary school.

There were two Helens.

We called her Weird Helen

for obvious reasons.

Then the other girl, by default,

she was Regular Helen.

And she got some note

from the teacher.

He went around,

was tasting all these dishes.

He referred to her

hollandaise sauce as a mistake.

She kind of flinched

a little bit,

picked up her paring knife,

flung it across the room.

No!

And so what happened is

she became Psycho Helen,

and therefore Weird Helen

got promoted to Regular Helen.

If you have a problem making

hollandaise sauce from scratch,

you could just buy it

in a packet, you know?

She was like, "Shut up!"

- That pissed her off.

- It really got her.

[Andi] You guys make culinary

school sound real scary.

I mean, all those knives.

I had a great time.

I bet you did.

I mean, it was funny.

Oh, for sure. I went home

and had a good laugh.

[clinks glass]

Atenciones.

[laughing]

Um...

I love you both,

and I love this.

And you know I don't do this

all the time,

but I'm gonna sing you

something.

- Ooh!

- She never does this.

I don't, but I'm gonna

do it for you.

My special request this weekend,

that we get to hear her sing.

[clears throat]

The higher I get with you

The further I fall

The lessons I learn

with you

Are worth it all

And if I can't get me right

this time

And you can't get you

Promise compassion

for after

You're full of grace

Sounds like truth

Truth

Truth

- [applause]

- Oh, my goodness!

You know, the whole restaurant

could hear you.

I'm so happy

this is happening.

Like, honestly. Like...

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