The Female Brain Page #8

Synopsis: What makes a woman swipe right for Mr. Wrong? Sofía Vergara and Whitney Cummings star in this fresh, witty look at the science behind our romantic missteps.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Whitney Cummings
Production: IFC Films
 
IMDB:
5.6
Metacritic:
41
Rotten Tomatoes:
27%
NOT RATED
Year:
2017
98 min
790 Views


No, no, no, no!

Don't wash it off yet!

Ow! Sh*t!

Ow.

- Take it.

- Why is it..

Why is it brown?

- I don't know. Take it.

- It don't smell

like nothing.

Okay, you ready?

One. Two. Three.

[instrumental music]

No, no, no.

You know pills make me

gag a little.

Oh.

Okay.

It's...it's down.

- Oh! Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey!

- You like my handiwork?

- Oh, yeah!

Yeah, yeah. I do.

- Hm?

- Do you?

- I do.

I'm very proud of you.

- Are you?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, well,

I am the man, and..

- Oh.

I can hammer

and destroy things, so.

Okay. Yeah?

Oh, yeah? Can you?

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, what's this?

- I don't know.

What is this?

- Oh.

- Hm?

- Hey? Oh.

- Where am I going?

- Where are you going?

- Uh-oh!

Where am I going?

- I don't know.

- Oh, no! Uh-oh!

I want to

find out though.

- I fell!

- Ooh!

- Oh, here I come.

- Oh, yeah.

- I'll save you.

- Oh, yeah!

Oh! Watch your knee!

- No, I'm good.

I'm good. I'm good.

- Are you okay?

Don't worry about that.

Just worry about this.

- Oh! Oh, no.

- Huh? Is that nice?

That's a big man, yeah.

Yeah, you like

when I'm the man

and you're the woman?

- Hm? You like..

- Yeah.

- You like that?

- Mm-hmm.

- Just, uh..

- Oh.

What the f***!

What?

What is.. What?

What's wrong with you?

I'm being a man.

Just..

- Stop! Oh, my God! Jesus!

- Okay.

Why can I pull your hair

but not shove your face

in the toilet?

Because one is playful!

And one is

where our sh*t goes,

you f***ing weirdo!

Okay. It's a fine line.

It's..

Between a toilet

and not a toilet?

Is it?

I was told to ask

for forgiveness,

not permission, so..

Excuse me? What..

Uh, what prison inmate

told you that?

Okay.

Can we just relax

and...resume with the sex?

No! No, we can't!

Because now I have to take

like seven showers!

Okay.

I'm.. I said I'm sorry.

No! You didn't!

Well, I'm sorry.

Do you feel anything?

I don't know. You?

I don't know.

Do you feel anything?

I don't know. You?

I don't know.

[upbeat music]

Should we turn some

music on?

There's no music on?

Well, why is my body

doing this?

[panting]

Huh?

What are you doing?

Are you guys on drugs?

What?

Don't do drugs.

Don't do 'em.

Don't.

Hey, get focused.

So, deodorant for women.

Go.

Girls, stop sweating us.

That's not bad, but..

Actually, what's cool

about this deodorant

is that it doesn't

contain aluminum

which is

what's carcinogenic, so..

- He's sleeping.

- He's not really.

Oh, my God,

I had a nightmare

where someone was talking

about carcinogenics.

Oh, God, it was horrible.

You were there.

- You were there.

- Alright.

How about,

"Sweating him

is the pits?"

- Genius. That's so good.

- Write that down.

So, I know I said

women seek consensus

but if the amygdala

is activated,

her adrenaline

can give her

enough confidence

to override

the instinct

to be cooperative.

Because girls are always

sweating guys, right?

- Yeah.

-I'm sorry, ca..

Can, can we aspire

to be just

a little less cliche?

- What?

- Does.. Is..

Is nobody else bothered

by how sexist

these ideas are?

We're not sexist!

The people who..

- The..

- The people

who buy stuff are sexist.

- Yeah.

- Women!

'Cause women buy

eighty percent

of products in America.

Alright, well,

then women are...sexist.

Sorry, you might want to

go down to Whole Foods

with a clipboard

and get it sorted out.

The saddest part about

all of this is that

I think that you believe

the garbage that you say.

Yeah. No! I realize

this is my last day.

- Yes, I get that.

Yeah, yeah

- It's your last day.

- No, no! I know!

- No, no, let me say it.

Let me say it.

- It's your last day.

- It's my last day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm gonna..

I will empty out my office

in just a minute.

I just, I, honestly,

I would love to know

if -- if you

actually believe

people are that stupid.

I believe

it's your last day.

It is an honor to quit

this terrible company.

You comin'? I'm just..

That was so weird.

Uh, why? Okay.

That wa..

Please. Strike that

from all of this.

And I'm gonna continue

storming out. I just..

I have to collect

everything now.

I know this is awkward,

it may be awkward

for like another

minute or so

but I actually

feel better

than I've ever felt here.

Believe it or not.

So, this is..

Feels awkward,

but imagine if

I had to come back.

- Help her. Help her.

- No! I'm good!

Please don't touch

my things! I got it!

- That's my charger.

- Yeah! Okay.

Good. Great!

Take your charger.

Wonderful. Cool.

Um...okay!

Here we go!

Not weird for me!

I'm leaving.

And you know what?

Ooh! I'm gonna

take this deodorant

because I'm s -- sweating

his pits! Okay?

Cool!

Tell your husband

to get well, okay?

Thank you! I will!

You know,

underneath this paint

you've got some

really beautiful molding.

The bones of this place

are really stunning.

There's just a lot of

superficial damage.

So, what do I owe you?

Like, are you hourly,

or what?

Why are you pretending

this isn't a date?

Well.. Um..

Frankly, I'm pretty

overpriced

and I've got a lot of

shitty reviews on

Angie's List.

Okay.

So, what -- what

do you charge?

Well, I'm not finished

but it's 90 grand

now and..

- What? Okay.

- No. I'm joking.

Uh, you know,

you could pay me

in, uh, favors.

- Whoa!

- What?

- What are you doing?

- What is the problem?

Problem is, you know

maybe we should

kiss first.

Both the amygdala

and hippocampus

are necessary for fear

extinction to occur.

But if both regions

of the brain are abnormal

due to trauma,

that person may recoil

if something reminds

them of their past.

This is commonly

seen as overreacting

or being annoying.

The problem with that

is that I would

produce oxytocin

which is just

kind of a disaster, so..

With all due respect,

I think you're

overthinking it.

Well, I don't understand.

W -- what..

Why won't you have

sex with me?

'Cause I like you

for some reason.

You know, when I sleep

with a girl too quickly,

I just..

It just..

Don't you wanna aim

a bit higher?

No.

Okay. Alright. Well..

When you wanna be treated

like a human being,

give me a call.

In the meantime,

don't touch those wires.

That red one

will f***ing kill you.

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

I've seen a lot,

but I gotta say

this is the first time

I've seen someone

pop a tumor.

What? What do you mean

a tumor?

We did a fast biopsy,

and at this point

I wouldn't

totally rule out

some growth

underneath your

cystic wall.

Possibly a basil cell.

Yeah, but that's.. Uh..

[scoffs]

That's like..

That's like cancer, no?

Possibly.

Is it like cancer cancer?

I'm not saying that.

Do I have cancer?

Possibly.

I have to acknowledge

the chance

so you don't sue me.

But likely not.

Good thing

you caught it though.

Adam!

- Jesus.

- What is going on?

You can't just not

text me back.

- Is this the popper?

- Yeah.

Sorry.

Adam, what is happening?

[exhales]

Um..

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Neal Brennan

Neal Brennan (born October 19, 1973) is an American comedian, writer, producer, and director. He is known for co-creating and co-writing the Comedy Central series Chappelle's Show with Dave Chappelle. By the end of the second season, it was ranked as the most popular Comedy Central show. It premiered in January 2003 and continued until 2006. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Female Brain" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 8 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_female_brain_20205>.

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