The Finales II: Hypowar Page #16

---

Jason:
That! That’s exactly what I’m talking about!

Logan (noticing Jason’s existence): Oh, Who’s the skinny white motherf***er?

Jason (chuckling): Oh you make me blush, Mr. Hendersville.

Logan:
You’re in the presence of someone that is and always will be better than you, Mr. Skinny Girl.

Bill:
Logan!

Logan:
What? It was a f***ing joke! Can’t I just make a simple f***ing joke?

Emma (to Jason):
I’m sorry about him.

Jason:
Oh don’t worry about it, I’ve dealt with cannibals, Cannibal drug dealers, Black drug dealers--

Chris:
Oh me too! I’m a DEA Agent.

Jason:
Not anymore, I’m guessing, You have powers! Why would you work for those f***ing blockers?

Chris (leaning back in his chairs): Blockers?

Jason (clicking on his laser pointer): Alright, May I have everyone’s attention.

Logan:
UGHHHH. Yes mom, What sh*t do I need to hear from you shitstains down at Congress and sh*t today?

Jason (clicking on his slides): Superbeings, or--

Logan:
Superheroes, Superheroes, Not superbeings, Not supermutants, F***ING SUPERHEROES!

Jason:
Alright, Superheroes, are something we would’ve never expected within our hundreds of years of leading our fine United States, The thing is, Unexpected things aren’t welcome in the United States--

Logan:
So why was I allowed?

Jason:
You’re gonna have to ask your mom about that, Anyway, Back to unexpected things--

Logan:
My f***ing mom’s dead, Explain, Mr. F***er, What the f*** do you mean by “Unexpected?”

Jason:
Well, Let me continue and you’ll understand--

Logan:
I don’t think you understand, I can drown you right now, and nobody would give a sh*t--

Jason:
The C.I.A would--

Logan:
What the f***ing f*** do you mean by “Unexpected?”

Jason:
Let me continue. The President, when this happened--

We flashback to President Meryl Magnum on her computer, writing an essay when Jason walks in.

Jason (knocking on the door): Madam President?

Meryl:
Mr. Steward?

Jason:
Beings with Water, Wind, Reflexes, Fire have destroyed the capital of Montana.

Meryl (chuckling): Jason, Did you watch too much Avengers? (sounding like she’s talking to some little kid who’s saying things seriously that sound retarded) I know you like your Avengers (whispers Little f***er).

Jason (showing her footage of the time at the doctor’s office): This isn’t no deleted scene.

Meryl (taking her glasses off): Oh my.

We cut back to now.

Jason:
President Meryl was much more shocked than anyone else was, She is a big superhero fan, but not real-world superhero fan.

Logan (pulling out a can of beer): Real-World?

Dave:
A beer?

Emma:
Really Logan?

Logan:
Won’t you guys f*** off? Jason?

Jason:
The beer’s fine, Anyway, She had to make sure y’all just don’t go killing everyone--

Logan:
So y’all think were murderers?

Jason:
No. We instead think y’all are the “Codename: Rising Threat” team--

Logan:
Threats?!

Jason:
Not like that, but we need y’all to sign a contract.

Logan:
A contract?

Jason (pulling papers out of his backpack): The Amber Accords.

Logan:
What’s Amber?

Jason (giving Logan a contract, randomly sounding personal): The name of one of our members who your mother killed.

Logan:
Huh?

Jason:
She was my wife.

Logan:
Huh, Hate to tell you but she was probably f***ing some other dude.

Jason suddenly begins choking Logan.

Jason:
You better take that back.

Dave (grabbing Jason): Alright, Alright, He doesn’t mean it.

Logan:
Oh no! I do.

Logan’s neck becomes water, and Jason’s hand slides off onto the table.

Logan:
You wet?

Jason walks back to his backpack, Logan’s neck becomes flesh again as Logan reads it.

Jason:
Allow me to explain, The Amber Accords is a contract that most of the nations agreed to-- Well, Not Canada, they don’t care about supernatural sh*t down there, but back to the accords, They state the following: All beings with unnatural abilities will sign the Accords of Amber. This will sign them with the Military, where they may be forced into helping our grand Marines with dangerous battles. They cannot use their powers for personal gain. If a new “Rising Threat” rises, We will use our new forces, The “Task Force-666” squads, which will be lead by our beings with unnatural abilities in each state. They will also have to avoid being blood donors.

Bill:
Alright, Alright.

Jason:
I helped write these, by the way.

Logan throws water out of his mouth onto the contract.

Logan:
BULLSHIT!

Jason:
What?

Logan:
No.

Jason:
No, What?

Logan:
I’m not signing this.

Chase (ripping it): Me two.

Eli (scratching out what he wrote with his pen): No freedoms are allowed with this bullshit!

Emma:
I don’t even have powers!

Dave:
Sign it.

Logan:
No.

Bill:
Come on, Chase! Logan, Just do it--

Blake (finishing signing it): You done. Honey?

Dave:
Yeah, I think so.

Emma:
You don’t even have powers, Blake!

Blake:
You don’t even know what I have, b*tch.

Logan:
Woah, Woah, Woah--

Jason:
So, You’re not signing it?

Logan:
Nope.

Jason (gulping):
Uhhhh, Well, You kind of have too.

Eli:
What are you gonna do about it?

Jason (gulping even louder): The Government is putting this into effect, no matter how much you go against it.

Logan (getting up and punching the table): What?!

Dave:
Alright, Logan--

Logan:
No, You shut up, Dave. Why are you falling for this?!

Dave:
Those Marines could use us down there, Logan, Don’t you agree?

Bill:
I’ve been thinking about the military, My wife joined a week ago, and she says they can squeeze me in.

Chris:
I don’t give a sh*t, Just take this paper away, It cut me as I signed it!

Jason (grabbing Dave and them’s papers): Alright, Great.

Logan:
What?

Jason:
Huh?

Logan:
What about ours?

Jason:
You didn’t sign it. When these accords go into effect, You guys will become war criminals. Y’all know that?

Chase:
It won’t happen.

Emma:
We won’t let it.

Jason:
Alright, Say what you will, but don’t expect this to go well.

Eli:
Oh, It won’t.

Logan:
I’ll make sure of that, Mr. Jase.

Jason (looking evil at Logan): Whatever you say, Logan.

Jason walks out of the room, He closes the door, and him and the backpack dust away.

Dave (to Logan):
What the hell was that, Logan?!

Logan:
What?

Dave:
You just f***ing went crazy there!

Logan:
Crazy? You’re insane for signing that sh*t!

Dave:
What?! It was nothing! They ain’t gonna force that sh*t on us!

Chase:
Why’d you do that, Bill?!

Chris:
Come on, Eli!

Emma (coughing):
Motherf***er.

Blake gets up, and goes in the bathroom.

Eli:
Come on, Chris, Why did you f***ing do that!

We cut to Jason walking in Meryl’s office.

Jason:
Mrs. Meryl?

Meryl:
Hello, f***ing Stewart.

Jason (getting the papers out of his backpack): I gave them the accords.

Meryl:
Agree?

Jason:
Some of them.

Meryl (eyes wide, sounding super rude): Some of them?

Jason:
They were divided.

Meryl:
F***ing hell, You were supposed to force them!

Jason:
Force?

Meryl (sighing):
Just f***ing tell me.

Jason:
Who disagreed?

Meryl (typing on her computer): No, I want you to tell me how you f***ing drown-- YES.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote