The First Beautiful Thing Page #7

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Have you ever French kissed?

Bet you don't know how.

Andrea says I'm a pro.

It's all about technique.

Elena, you're such a pain in the ass!

Can we do our f***ing research!

You're nuts!

I'm not one of your boorish friends

from your shitty neighborhood.

Don't do that...

You've never done it, have you?

Me neither, but it's a secret.

Come here.

- Come here.

- Yes.

Promise you won't tell anyone.

- Kiss me.

- Okay.

- Andrea would kill us both.

- Right.

- Kiss me. - Sure.

- Eat me.

Hurry up, we have a Latin test.

We'll all sit behind you.

she was Miss Pancaldi.

She'd give blowj*bs

to her friends' husbands.

My cousin told me!

I heard she did a film

because she was that actor's lover...

- Mastroianni?

- Right!

I hear she does threesomes

with the attorney and his wife.

Excuse my Latin,

but she's a real nympho slut.

Be quiet, let Baldacci talk.

I already set her straight.

"Nihil fugit a grinfiis Baldacci",

let him talk!

She came for a teacher's meeting,

winked at me and went to bathroom.

She locked the door... We did it

standing up and doggy style.

Guys, she's super horny.

She likes to talk dirty.

That afternoon Elena wanted to f***

but I was beat.

Then she came to my dad's pharmacy,

looking for me.

- Guess what she bought?

- "Condus profilatticum"!

Baldacci, with all due respect,

I f***ed your girlfriend.

I hope she's not pregnant,

you'd better get a pregnancy test.

It happens...

Babe, that's not true!

Don't believe him, he's crazy.

Andrea! Stop it!

Bruno! Your school called.

What happened?

Oh my God, honey!

Look what he did to you!

Who is this idiot?

A guy from school.

- Andrea Baldacci. Know him?

- No, why?

You got together with his girlfriend?

Let's have a look.

You're even cuter all beat up,

my little heart breaker!

- You're getting fat, your belly's big.

- What?

What are you talking about?

Valeria can't find out.

I'll tell you,

you're a big boy now.

What?

Feel it?

You're pregnant? Whose is it?

Take me for a ride on your scooter.

Let's go down the dirt roads

and hit all the potholes.

I don't think I can do this.

Help me, I'm begging you!

You're a slut! A horny nympho!

You f*** everyone,

you make me sick!

I'm sorry, come here!

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Where are you going?

- Why are you treating me like this?

- Get lost!

Honey, please!

- What happened?

- No questions.

I'll warm up some soup.

Oh, that hurts...

What is it, mom?

That thing there... turn it.

Valeria, Loriano!

- Here we go.

- More!

No, the doctor said

not to overdo the morphine.

It's like magic, the pain disappears

and you fly away...

Cristiano...

What?

- Did you call him?

- Who?

Cristiano.

- Who's Cristiano?

- My poor baby...

What's going on?

Where were you?

I had to increase the drip.

This should be at two.

Valeria, come here.

I think we have a brother.

His name's Cristiano.

Are you nuts? Are you high?

Dummy, mom was pregnant.

She told me.

When?

- When?

- Loriano!

You know the story, don't you?

He must be 27 or 28.

Oh my God, what?

Remember that summer

when she went away for 3 months

with the attorney and his wife?

She had the baby in secret.

- Bruno!

- I thought she had an abortion.

Oh my God!

- Where's Cristiano?

- He grew up with his father...

...who kicked the bucket.

For all these years,

she only saw him from a distance.

But I know how much she loved him.

He knows nothing about it,

that was the deal.

- What deal?

- Oh my God, a brother!

- A brother!

- It happens.

- Does he live in Livorno? Who is he?

- You two are thick!

Is this a joke? Tell us, already!

- I knew I'd end up saying it.

- Tell me.

- It's Cenerini's son!

- What? No!

I finally told them...

Why...

Can you believe this?

You knew and you never told me!

You were too young,

I was a kid too.

You left

to live the good life on your own.

The good life...

You left it all up to me!

I got married and I wasn't even 20.

- Fine, it was all my fault.

- Yes, it was your fault!

You abandoned me!

- Some big brother!

- Shut up.

- F*** off!

- F*** you.

- Nesi, f*** you too.

- F*** Nesi and you...

No matter what happened,

I wasn't afraid because I had you.

You were mean to me,

but you loved me.

You'd smack my head,

but stroke my hair so I'd fall asleep.

You made up nursery rhymes for me.

My big brother.

Then you were gone, just like that.

I'd call to say I missed you

and you'd say:

"Fine thanks, and you?"

Or you wouldn't even answer.

I wondered what I did wrong.

It's true, I was a little slow as a kid,

but why did you treat me

like an idiot?

Come on, Valeria...

I started smoking again cause of you,

you bastard...

Bruno...

Why'd you run away?

Why?

You lucked out.

A big round of applause

for Bruno Michelucci!

Breech.

A composition in free verse.

Wonderful, honey!

Breech.

Come on!

- Bravo, honey!

- Bravo!

Came into the world feet first...

Why me...

Your mom's reckless, but not mean.

I might have been cruel to her,

but I had my reasons.

I met your father before she did.

He flirted with me, took me out for

pizza and to the movies.

I was crazy about him,

but I played hard to get.

That's how things were back then.

One day I brought him home

to meet grandpa,

your mom was 16 then.

She was pretty,

she was always prettier than me.

But she was also more... modern.

You know?

She betrayed me.

You can't imagine how I suffered.

What can you do?

So many years have passed.

Pride's an ugly monster!

Don't make the same mistake,

it's your life.

If you want to go, go.

But no more resentment, Bruno.

Auntie told me dad had left us money,

and if I wanted to go I could use it.

You didn't even come to her funeral.

You missed the scene

with mom hugging her coffin.

You should've seen how she cried...

I missed a lot of things.

If you'd at least become

rich and famous...

I'm poor and unknown.

- And idiotic.

- No, I wish...

I'm normal, which is worse.

- I don't understand, so you are...

- Your siblings.

I'm Valeria,

and he's the oldest, Bruno.

Bruno...

Excuse me.

Yes?

No, I'll be right there.

I'm sorry, today's been hectic...

So what can I do for you...

We came to invite you

to our mother's wedding.

- Who's also your mom...

- Our mom.

She's dying,

but she's getting married?

- Exactly.

- Yes.

We think it would make her very happy.

It might be nice for you too,

wouldn't it?

Your mother is... very special.

She ruined my life, and hers...

If you meet her,

maybe she'll ruin yours too.

I'll be right back.

Hang on, I'll be back.

I'll just be a minute.

- What are you saying, you loon!

- Well it's true, isn't it?

- So you tell him?

- He's our brother.

Tiziana, wait a few minutes, then tell

them I had an unexpected meeting.

Be polite though, please.

When they leave, call me.

People are insane...

Your mom's getting married?

Luckily she invited me,

I love weddings!

- She invited you?

- Livorno is lovely.

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