The First Turn-On Page #8

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you'll be part of nature.

Oh, what the f*** are you

talking about, Michelle.

Goddammit!

You're always talking

this bullshit.

For once in yourlife, can't you just

talk like a normal human being?

HENRY:
Come on, Mitch.

Hey, you want to hear this

sh*t she's always dealing out?

Well, I dont' know, Mitch.

You got to think

about nature now.

I mean, it's one thing if

an eighty-year-old woman

gets killed by a bus.

It's another thing

if a kid dies before.

I just think that really sucks.

F*** you, Henry.

You're just as bad as she is.

What is this

philosophy bullshit?

You all are just scared.

I'm not f***ing scared.

God damn it.

I'm going to die a virgin.

Why don't you just cut

out the tough guy routine.

You're just as scared as we are.

Oh, Michelle, you've always

had it in for me-- always.

Yeah, come on.

Get it out now.

I always like you.

Bullshit!

I've always liked you.

I've always admired you.

You know the way the

little kids look up to you.

They see you as a role model.

I've always wished I

could be closer to you.

I think we should all be

spending these last few moments

being closest to the fighting.

I'm going to die a virgin.

[music playing]

MICHELLE FARMER (VOICEOVER):

We're are all part of nature's

constant state of flux.

HENRY (VOICEOVER): If

I ever get out of here.

I'll never eat junk food again.

DANNY (VOICEOVER): I

fever get out of here,

I'll change my subscription

from "Penthouse"

to "National Geographic."

I promise.

ANNIE (VOICEOVER): I don't

want to die a virgin.

MITCH (VOICEOVER):

This f***ing cave sucks.

[music playing]

Oh!

Ah!

[screaming]

The earth is moving.

[screaming]

The earth is moving.

Oh, yeah!

Gee that was nice.

[music playing]

Mr. Zitzler, you're in such

a rush to sell this camp,

I got it think it over.

It's late.

I'll call you, Mr. Zitzler,

I'll call you.

Please, Mr. Costolo,

please, buy my camp.

You've got to buy my camp.

I've got to sell this camp.

That damned innocent kid.

I don't have any insurance.

What am I going to do?

I see you, Mr. Zitzler.

Where is my Danny?

I'm sick and tired of

all this double talk.

All the other parents

have found their children.

Where's my Danny?

Why, Mrs. Anderson, I

was just looking for you.

My Danny boy is lost.

He's gone.

I can't find him anywhere.

Mrs. Anderson, now, please

get a hold of yourself.

It becomes very

unsteady on this dock.

What kind of a dump is this?

Oh!

What in the world is that?

[scream]

Mr. Zitzler, I couldn't

find Danny's body

in this part of the lake.

Danny's body.

Danny's body?

Danny's body?

Oh!

Danny's body!

Ahhh!

[whistle]

Mrs. Anderson, don't move.

I'll get a lifeguard.

It'll take about 10 minutes.

These life guard

costs are killing me.

I'll do it myself.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

This way.

Go this way.

[music playing]

Mr. Zitlzler,

you saved my life.

Yeah, I do hope Danny

will be all right.

Oh, Danny is all right.

Danny is insured.

You have insurance?

Oh, Mrs. Anderson.

What happened?

I don't know.

Hey do you guys smell anything?

I think it's fresh air.

Look, I see daylight.

There's light coming in.

Oh, my god.

You're not kidding, light.

Get out of here.

All right.

[MUSIC PLAYING RICHARD STRAUSS

"ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA"]

What a f***ing day.

[music playing]

I feel different.

NARRATOR:
Manny Anderson is no

wacting in pornographic films

under the name of Dicky Long.

He has delighted

millions of moviegoers

with his unique bulge.

Good, how you doing, huh?

Listen, listen,

don't call me Stud.

Call me Mitch, OK.

NARRATOR:
Mitch became

a priest and opened

a parish in San Francisco.

He is now a spokesman for gay

rights for the celibate clergy.

Cheesedoodles.

NARRATOR:
Henry Putz

works for the American

Cheese Manufacturers Association

as commissioner of natural gas.

They are all yours, kid.

NARRATOR:
After eightun

successful marriages

and the cancellation of her

Bloomingdales credit card,

Annie Goldberg suffereda

nervous breakdown

and became a vegetable.

She is now living

quietly in Columbus, Ohio

as a Brussels sprout.

Michelle Farmer pursued

her interest in nature

and now heads up the

government's program

for wildlife preservation.

And fly.

Fly away!

Fly away little fish.

Weee!

[music playing]

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