The First Wives Club Page #2

Knock Wood.

- It's great to see you guys again.

- Cheers.

Why'd she do it? I don't understand.

Could I have helped her?

What Would make her want to?

She gave Gil the best years

of her life. Sacrificed her youth...

Always put herself last to bolster

his ego, his drive, his ambition.

Just as her dignity hung by a thread,

he ran off With a pre-schooler.

- I'm guessing.

- Elise...

You too?

You... Brenda?

- Brenda?

- Morty was a big shot on TV.

He sold electronics. On our 20th

Wedding anniversary, it hits...

...mid-life crisis... Major! He starts

Working out, grows a mustache.

He gets an earring. I said:

"Morty, What are you... a pirate?"

"What's next? A parrot?"

Suddenly, I'm a drag. I'm holding

him back because I Won't rollerblade.

- What's her name?

- Shelly.

Shelly the barracuda. She's 12.

Bren... Elise.

I am so sorry about

both of your marriages.

I Wish I could have helped or

been there in some way.

- What about your marriage?

- Everything's just fine.

Aaron is so terrific...

NoW, let's think... We've been

married for 25 years...

Chris is perfect. I mean,

lesbians are great... nowadays!

The marriage is going...

It's going to be really fine.

Aaron and I... We're...

...temporarily sort of...

We're separated!

- Separated.

- Separated?

Separated.

OK, Elise, the time has come...

Spill! Those lips... What's in 'em?

- Are they wax?

- Excuse me?

What else did you have done?

You can tell me.

The cheeks, the jaWline...

Have just a little or the full enchilada?

I Work out daily, watch my diet.

- I haven't had plastic surgery!

- Good for you!

- You look terrific.

- Come on!

You're lying through your caps!

OK, I have been refreshed a little.

- Oh, God, does it hurt?

- No.

The stuff they take off...

Can you keep it?

Come on, it's the 90s.

Plastic surgery is like good grooming.

It's like brushing your teeth.

Elise, you've been yanked, stitched,

stuffed and pulled. You're a turkey.

- And to please your ex-husband?

- No...

...to please everybody.

To please everybody!

Men, Women, studio executives.

Come on, youth and beauty.

Men, that's the ticket!

When men... No, When Women

get to be a certain age...

...bye, bye love. Hello, poptarts.

- That's right, baby.

It's a holocaust.

God, I Wish I had the courage

to give it all up. To say...

...Who gives a rat's ass.

Just let myself go like you two did.

No offense.

- None taken.

- Speak for yourself, OK!

Elise, you're gifted,

talented and successful.

Brenda, you're Wonderfully verbal.

And I am seeing

a very talented therapist.

We're in our prime! By the way,

my marriage is fine, thank you.

Annie, you have an amazing attitude.

You are... so cheerful.

- You are...

- Look at me.

You are genuinely happy.

- It's a beautiful thing.

- Thank you.

Lithium?

You'd have been proud of me, Leslie.

I was the only positive one there.

There Were traces of the Wonderful,

Witty Women I kneW before -

- but they're just so angry. They're so

confused. When We Were young...

...We had such spirit.

- Say it, honey.

- Work from love.

- OK, Work from love.

- GroW from love.

- GroW from love.

ScreW the World.

- I can't say that. I'm sorry.

- Annie, you are still doing it.

- I knoW.

- You have a problem With anger.

You're absolutely right.

It's my... I don't knoW What it is!

It's my mother. It's Connecticut.

- It's all these loud noises.

- And Aaron.

I knoW We're separated.

But I think this is really a rest period.

We're just getting our...

- Do it, Annie! Get angry.

- I couldn't. I knoW that I should...

- It's just...

- Hit me.

Stand up and hit me.

I can't. I'm so sorry. Maybe...

Let it out. I want you to hit me.

Trust me. It's OK.

OK.

Rambo!

A real tough guy.

Come on, Annie...

- Hit me!

- I love that.

- My God.

- That was better.

- I'm sorry. Please don't tell Aaron.

- Time's up.

- Time to go. Do you feel better?

- Thank you.

He hasn't the guts to tell me he wants

a divorce. I have to hear it on TV.

- Elise, be cool. Be calm.

- I am!

- I saW that shoW. It was interesting.

- I don't want to hear it.

My client's and Miss Eliot's marriage

resulted in many successful films -

- including "Inner Urges",

"Human Instinct" -

- and "Animal Nature" in Which she

played a sensuous veterinarian.

- Thank you.

- My idea!

- Was not.

- Was too.

My client produced these films

Which enhanced Miss Eliot's career.

- Therefore, she is indebted to him.

- I produced these films!

You kneW nothing When I met you.

I taught you everything! What?

Those Were your best years, Elise.

Therefore, We request half of Miss

Eliot's assets and a monthly stipend.

He wants alimony?

As for the sculpture, art, Japanese

porcelain and objets d'art-

- collected during the marriage,

my client thinks it fair for Miss Eliot -

- to dispose of the items

and divide the proceeds evenly.

They Were anniversary presents -

- Xmas presents. I gave him

everything. NoW he wants more?!

NoW, Duarto, I ask you: Who's this

for? An anorexic teen? A fetus?

It's a conspiracy. I knoW it is. I've

had enough. I'm leading a protest.

I'm not buying any more clothes until

designers come to their senses.

Brenda worked for a

man named Duarto Feliz -

- one of the ten worst

interior decorators in New York.

I think his real name

was Duane Hemelwitz.

- It's electric. Look at this hideous...

- I can't afford it.

You've got to have it. Try it on.

You could sell a broach, your son...

Duarto...

- Morty! Look at you.

- Brenda, don't embarrass me.

Don't embarrass me.

Don't make a scene.

You've got nerve.

KnoW What's embarrassing?

Being hassled by Mr. ZaWorsky

because I'm behind in the rent.

That's embarrassing. Worrying about

hoW to pay for my kid's college.

You knoW What? You never listened.

20 years and you never listened.

Here! Try this on in the fitting

room. It looks very nice.

I could use this. It's very

beautiful. I love the color...

But What can I use for money?

HoW am I gonna pay for it?

The company is expanding. Not me!

I'm a mere laborer.

- You're a liar and a fraud.

- I have no money. I'm not rich.

- Why don't you look in your purse?

- Very funny.

- They're stunning, Morton. I want 'em.

- Morton?

- Oh, God, make it go away.

- Shelly, look at you.

- The bulimia has paid off.

- Don't start.

What's the matter, Morty?

Can't you buy her a Whole dress?

Why don't you try these on

in your size?

- It was a delight running into you.

- You've read the script.

Yes, it is so original. It's so good.

You're so gifted, Brett.

And Monique..."Monique"...

She is a great character.

Thank you. Man, What a kick!

Elise Eliot in a Brett Artounian film.

So, tell me hoW do you see her?

Well, uh, I think We go for...

...grotesque.

- What?

All the way. No make-up, overhead

lighting. Bring out every Wrinkle...

Every crag.

With you in the part -

- Monique's mother Won't be another

Jurassic fleshbag in a Wheelchair.

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