The First Wives Club Page #7

We've figured out What

We think We knoW What We want.

I knoW What Went Wrong.

The Whole crackpot idea Went Wrong.

Revenge and egos...

Thinking We could fix our silly lives.

- Exactly! We Were thinking too small.

- What are you talking about?

We Were trying to get back

at our ex's, Which is a start -

- but it isn't enough.

It's so petty and limited!

No Wonder

We're snarling at each other.

No Wonder We're

at each other's throats. Listen!

We have to take our plan

and expand it.

First thing, We take care of

our oWn guys -

- because they really

have it coming. Then... We go global!

How?

Are you interested

because I'll tell you.

I don't knoW if I'm interested.

What if We erupt again?

Or Elise, What if you start drinking,

and, Brenda, you start sniping?

- Been there!

- Done that!

- It's not enough for me.

- Annie...

Take a good look at Elise.

Look at her!

I'm sober.

And I'm going to do the play.

- Really?

- I'll be there front roW opening night.

Our friendship is everything.

Don't leave.

We can't fall apart noW.

But even if We want to,

We don't have enough information.

Of course, We do have stuff

on Aaron and Morty.

But What about Bill?

We're still on square one.

No, not exactly.

I admit all he's done so far is legal...

...as far as he knows.

- What do you mean?

- It's all a question of angles.

- Are you in?

- Are you back?

- Talk.

- Well... After you.

I'm seriously thinking of taking

the role of Monique's Mom.

And I've been thinking

about Who she is -

- What she's about. I'm sure you're

doing the same thing With Monique.

Sure. I've been thinking like,

streaks...

...just around my face.

Oh!

And What a beautiful face.

Anyway, the reason I called is

if We're going to Work together -

- I think We should get to

knoW one another.

It's important.

Bill is so Wrong.

- You are not Satan.

- Oh, stop!

Do you need a TV or a VCR

or a personal computer?

Who's the first name in top quality -

- loW-cost appliances?

Let's ask this beautiful

young lady here.

- Excuse me, ma'am.

- Why, hello!

- Hello.

- Hi.

I'm in the market for a

loW-quality, top-cost appliance.

- Cut!

- Shelly.

Top-quality, loW-cost.

- Morton Cushman.

- Yeah, Why?

You have the right to remain silent.

What's going on here?

I'm shooting a commercial.

Federal Marshals

acting on behalf of the IRS.

Bobby, call my lawyer.

On November 28th,

at exactly 1400 hours -

- Operation Hell's Fury

swung into action.

- Morning.

- Hi.

- How's my day shaping up?

- Poor Daddy, it's going to be hell.

Your 9 o'clock's waiting

in the conference room.

Okie-dokie.

So, Where do I stand here now?

We'll also bill the expenses

including but not limited to...

What is this?

Miss Eliot. Please...

- I'm begging you. Please.

- Brett, We love the neW draft...

Phoebe's crazy about it.

She's going to read it.

Elise, I'm trying

to make a movie here.

- Hold your calls.

- That was an important phonecall.

- Where's my first check?

- Just sit doWn and shut up! OK?

NoW, let's take a meeting.

- Hello, Sunshine!

- Welcome.

This is kidnaping.

I Will crucify you.

You want to talk crucifixion?

Happy Easter, Morty.

- Big deal!

- Letters from Brenda's father...

...about stocking your stores

With stolen merchandise.

- What do they call it in the tabloids?

- "Hot stuff".

Criminal activity.

You should be ashamed.

Wake up and smell the audit.

Aaron, I just had

a little talk With Erik and Marc.

It seems the business

is very dysfunctional.

Sort of like our marriage.

So...

I bought them out.

What?

- Yeah, I think We ought to go.

- That's a good idea.

- Goodbye, Erik.

- Good luck to you.

- Annie

- Oh, Marc.

- Love ya.

- I do love that suit.

You couldn't possibly pull off

something like this.

Where did you get

this kind of money?

As agreed, I sold our assets

to a friend of mine.

Here's your half.

Fifty cents?

Considering our history together,

I thought a dollar was very fair.

Oh, all right!

Take it all.

- What do you want? Money?

- Every cent.

You're out of your mind.

You can hand it over and live

happily ever after.

You can give it to the government

and get 10 to 20.

Maybe Duarto can do your cell.

I see... bars.

You can't do this to me.

- But I have done it.

- You Wouldn't.

You... couldn't.

It seems I could and I did.

You knoW What, Aaron?

I forgot hoW much fun Work can be.

If you take my agency from me,

I'll walk.

- I'll take my clients With me.

- Be my guest.

I'm not kidding!

I Will take every single account.

This place Without me...

- It Would be Worthless.

- I don't think so, babe.

Not after the neW

$45,000,000 account I just landed.

NeW account?

What account?

Morty's Electronics Will be

under my control.

Advertising, marketing strategy...

Everything!

You Will stay on as President,

because after all... you are Morty.

You Will receive a salary Which Will

keep you in the lifestyle -

- to Which I think you should

become accustomed.

I don't see What else you can do.

It's this orjail.

So I dumped you for another Woman.

Get over it!

Lift something. Wax something.

Have something peeled.

You're right!

I hate to admit it, but I'm jealous.

Miss Lavelle is absolutely gorgeous.

She's a bright neW star.

Interested, Elise?

Want to drink her blood?

HoW old is she, Bill? 25? 26?

- 21.

- Yeah.

In about five years!

She's 16.

- What?

- TWo years ago...

...she left high school

in NeWkirk, Idaho.

Should've done your homeWork, Bill.

I did.

- A copy of her birth certificate.

- Oh, God. I didn't knoW.

My God!

What are you going to do?

What am I going to do?

Right noW, I'm just using the "f" Word.

Felony!

I think We should continue

this discussion in my office.

In your office?

Is that all you can do?

Think of yourself, yourself, yourself!

If you go through With this,

I'll have nothing.

Everyone in toWn is looking

for the neW guy.

HoW can I compete?

Who else is going to want me?

I'm 46 years old.

I'd have to start from scratch.

I knoWjust hoW you feel.

Oh, Aaron...

GroW from love.

Annie McDuggan

FIRST WIVES CLUB

I don't hate you. I Wish I could.

But you're still kind of cute -

- for a overbearing, cradle-robbing

Spandex-sucking criminal.

So, I'm not going to take

all your money.

Don't misunderstand.

I'm going to take plenty.

And I'm going to hang onto these

because I have a favor to ask.

Be there in two hours!

While We Were married,

I helped you.

NoW it's your turn to help others.

- Where are you going?

- To see Barbara Walters.

- Oh, my God!

- Scared?

You Won't talk about this,

Will you?

That depends on you.

Be there at that address

in two hours, babe!

What Brenda meant by

thinking globally-

- was that it wasn't enough

to make our ex-husbands suffer.

To do the truly charitable,

unselfish thing -

- we'd have to make them

suffer over and over again.

- So, What are you guys in for?

- Gentlemen!

And Daddy.

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