The Fitzgerald Family Christmas Page #7

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Look, the whole idea

of having a cell phone

is that periodically

you pick the thing up.

All right, look. I just saw Dad.

He came by the restaurant.

And we need to talk. Okay?

So, give me a call

when you get this.

Thank you very much.

Hey, Nora, it's, uh,

it's Gerry.

Look, uh...

[laughs nervously]

I kinda need

to talk to someone

who isn't completely

out of their f***ing minds.

And that kinda disqualifies

my entire family. So...

ls there any way

I could maybe swing by,

pick your brain for a little bit?

All right. Great. I'll see you,

15, 20 minutes or so?

All right. Perfect.

I'll just pull up outside.

Cool. Thank you.

COREY:

You know he married the shiksa.

And he's celebrating his first

Christmas with her and her kids.

[Erin laughs]

Back up. Your father

is celebrating Christmas?

He's making an effort.

You see.

These old geezers hook up

with a younger girl,

they think they're getting

a free ride.

But there is no such thing.

I know.

I know, it's pathetic.

- But that's not the point.

- No, it's hysterical.

I would love to see the look

on your father's face

as he has to pretend

to enjoy Christmas.

Oh, she should make him

dress up as Santa.

[chuckles]

Well, I can grant you that wish

since he wants us to be there.

Absolutely not.

I'm his only kid.

This is his first Christmas.

- Are you kidding me?

- No.

I'm serious. He wants us...

Thank you.

He wants us to drive up

to Connecticut and help him do this.

No shot.

We've always done every Christmas

with your family.

I mean...

Last year.

Erin, that was awful.

I mean...

Well, he was drunk and he apologized

and he's sober now.

Okay.

Listen, I don't ask for much.

All I'm asking for

is this one Christmas.

Well, it would kill my mother especially

since we just blew off her birthday.

You don't even like

your brothers and sisters.

Well, why not

blow them off this year?

'Cause this year's different.

I'm sorry. End of discussion.

End of discussion?

What--What's so different

about this year?

Just different.

Why won't you talk to me?

Can we please just shop?

- Let's shop.

- Okay.

See? Isn't this great?

QUINN:
Yeah, it's great.

Freezing my balls off.

So, hey, you're really

gonna propose to this girl?

Yeah. It's time.

Why? Why is it time?

Why can't you give it a year,

or like, at least another month.

Because I'm not getting

any younger, Sharon.

And I want to have kids

before I'm an old man.

Well, do you love her?

I like her...a great deal.

She has her faults, but...

she's a good kid.

She's smart, she's funny.

But you don't love her.

She comes from

a very good family.

It's a shame she can't say

the same thing about you.

That's another reason

I gotta lock this girl down.

But you can't tell me

that you love her.

You know, at my age,

love is not the first priority.

I'm done looking around.

This is it.

[Quinn exhales]

- [cellphone chiming]

- Oh.

Richie T?

Hey. Rich, what's up?

What?

Whoa! Whoa! Slow down.

Which sister?

Is he still there?

Okay. I'm on my way.

What is it?

What happened?

JJ f***ing hit Connie.

- Are you kidding me?

- No, I'm not kidding you.

I gotta go deal with this.

I'll drop you off at the house.

No freaking way.

I'm coming with you.

[Knock on door]

Hi, honey.

- You okay?

- Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay.

Listen, this is

f***ing horrible, okay?

- No, no, no.

- No, it's terrible.

Listen, you're not

going back to your house.

- You can stay with me--

- No, you don't know the whole story--

No, listen. You can stay with Mom

or you can stay with me,

but you're never going

back to that house.

No, it's my house.

Yeah. But you've got to do

this now, honey.

- You know, he had a hard year.

- Oh, f*** that.

F*** that. I'm sorry.

That's what you said the last time

and the time before

and you keep giving him

another chance,

- and look what happens.

- Oh, I know.

You've gotta do this.

I mean,

you've got to tell him

that you're leaving him.

You're gonna file for divorce

and that's it.

I'm pregnant.

Oh, my God.

Oh, Connie.

- Why?

- I don't know why.

It just happened.

And he knows this?

And he still pushed you?

I'm sorry,

for the sake of this kid

you've got to get him

the hell out of your life.

He's an a**hole.

- You have to, honey.

- I know.

- Okay.

- [doorbell rings]

- You think it's him?

- I don't know.

Here.

Go hide in the TV room.

Oh, my God, it's Dad.

- Dad?

- Yeah.

- Daddy?

- Hey, it's Christmas Eve.

- What are you doing?

- I got presents.

I sot gifts.

- Good to see you.

- Come in. Oh, my God.

- Yeah.

- What are you doing here?

Oh, it's Christmas Eve.

Come on.

It's the best.

- Baby, Connie, how are you?

- Hi, Daddy.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, sweetie.

- All right.

- This is great.

The house looks fabulous.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

Is it too early for wine?

Because, you know, I could use a glass.

This is ridiculous.

I mean...

I'm just give 'em a quick call.

Hmm.

See what's going on.

[cellphone vibrating]

Oh, sh*t.

- Hey.

- FX:
Hey.

What's going on?

It's like, almost two hours.

Yeah, yeah. I know.

I should have called earlier. I'm sorry.

But we had an emergency

and so we had to go.

You had to go?

What are you talking about?

What kind of emergency?

We had a family emergency,

but we're taking care of it.

Well, when are you

coming back here?

And what are you talking about?

When are you coming back here?

I don't know.

We have to go by one of my sister's.

We don't have

a f***ing car here.

You're leaving me stranded

here without a car?

What are you talking about?

I don't understand.

Are you kidding me with this?

I'm telling you that we have

a family emergency

and this is how you react to that?

Look, I can't even talk to you right now.

- God, what a jerk.

- What, they pissed at us?

I don't really give a crap.

Ohh.

What's up?

ls everything okay?

[sighs]

I don't even know why I called,

quite honestly,

dragging you into my mess.

Don't worry about it.

What's going on?

All right. Well, it's...

It's my dad.

He just told me he's got

a few months to live and...

[sighs]

I don't know,

I'm just kind of numb,

I didn't know who else to call.

[Gerry sighs]

You're probably sitting here

looking at me like,

"Who the f*** is this guy?

I just met you yesterday

"and you're dropping

this sh*t on me?"

No. I'm not.

- I'm not. I'm not at all. Yeah.

- You sure?

Don't apologize.

Oh, you know,

I mean, he's dying, right?

So, obviously I'm upset, but...

I'm also f***ing furious with him

because it's the kind of bullshit

he's always pulled.

You know, he only calls

when he wants something from me,

like everybody else

in my family.

You know, they're all consumed

with their own sh*t.

I mean, yesterday,

it's my mother's birthday, and...

not one of them can find time

in their busy f***ing schedules

to come out and celebrate

her day with her?

And they get that from him

because...

you know, he's the most selfish

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