The Fitzgerald Family Christmas Page #8

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son of a b*tch alive.

And, you know, now,

now he wants my help because...

he wants to come home

for Christmas.

And I'm like, "You know what,

I've been helping you

since you walked out on us

20 years ago."

I mean,

I raised half of his kids.

I took care of my mother

when she was losing her mind

those first couple of years,

and he's off in Manhattan

having a great time.

I even took over his father's business

when his old man died.

And I didn't wanna do

any of this sh*t.

I didn't ask for it, but I didn't have

a f***ing choice, you know.

And it's like...

Do you think he ever said thank you?

Do you think any of them ever say

thank you for anything? No.

I'm just...

[sighs]

I just... I'm kinda...

I just wish I could be

f***ing done with them.

The whole...

I don't know. I don't know.

I'm sorry. I'm just...

No, no, no, no. That's okay.

Is there a question in there

anywhere

OI' are we...

I don't know.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

- You know?

- What do you wanna do?

I wanna wash my hands

of the whole lot of them.

Just like, "You know what,

why don't you guys just figure it out

on your own for once?"

So do that.

You know,

have your dad figure it out,

have your brothers and sisters

figure it out for themselves.

Let them

do it for themselves.

It might surprise you.

I seriously doubt it. But...

I definitely like the idea

of letting them try, you know.

I think that's the hardest thing

in the world, you know,

for people like us.

But it sounds like it's time.

SHARON:

Connie went over to Dot's.

Hopefully this guy's

still f***ing here.

[Brakes screech]

- QUINN:
Stay here.

- SHARON:
[scoffs] You kidding?

Hey, jerk-off, what is your problem?

- Hey, douchebag!

- You can't keep your hands to yourself?

Seriously,

what is your problem?

Do me a favor

and listen real close.

You're gonna go inside,

you're gonna pack up,

and you're gonna

get the f*** out of this house.

- That's right.

- And out of Queens.

I see you here past tonight,

you're not going to the hospital,

you're going to the f***ing morgue.

And he means it.

Don't you think he doesn't.

You understand me?

Answer me!

[whispers] I understand.

Now get the f*** out of here.

Get the f*** out of here!

Pack your sh*t and go.

We'll wait till he leaves.

Hey, Rosie, we're home.

Oh, um, I'm in the TV room.

Where's Aaron?

He's still napping.

Oh, Mom,

you can't let him sleep all day.

I'll never get him to bed tonight.

It's all right. I got him.

How was he?

He was great.

ROSIE:
Erin.

Could you come in here?

I-I've got something I wanna tell you.

I talked to Gerry.

And I'm assuming that you want me

to have your father over tomorrow, too.

Yeah. Of course I do.

And you really believe this bullshit

that he's dying?

No, Mom, it's for real.

He's been sick for a while.

It wouldn't be the first time

he told an elaborate lie

to get what he wants.

Mom, I've been with him

to the hospital

and I've gone with him

to see the specialist.

The why wouldn't he

tell anyone before this?

And on my birthday, too.

That's a great present.

He didn't want anyone to know.

I haven't even told Corey yet.

Why would the stubborn jackass wait

and keep it a secret?

Mom, you know Dad.

He thought he'd beat it.

Oh, he's been

such a stubborn old fool.

- Mom!

- Well, I don't know what to say.

If anyone deserved it,

it would be him.

But there will be no tears

shed for him from me.

How can you say such a thing?

I know he hurt you

but he's still our father.

The pain he's dealing with now

is insignificant

to the pain he's caused us.

What about me?

What about you, your childhood,

those little ones?

Never having a father

in the house.

That is real pain.

Pain you carry with you

for a lifetime.

So you're gonna cause

more pain for all of us

and not let him come over.

When he walked out on this family

20 years ago,

I told him he would never set foot

in my house again,

and I am sticking to it.

You son of a b*tch.

You're not gonna make me cry.

Son of a b*tch!

Oh.

- QUINN:
Hey, Dottie, we're here.

- Oh, hey.

We're in the kitchen.

Whoa!

Dad, what are you doing here?

And a very merry to you too.

I'm sorry. I'm just surprised.

How you doing?

DAD:
Give me a hug.

There you go.

- Sharon.

- No. I'm good. Thanks.

Why didn't you tell us

Dad's here?

Uh... He just showed up.

[Dottie and Dad laugh nervously]

All right.

Well, despite this pleasant surprise,

we came to see Connie.

Now, before I get to the part

about how you're an idiot,

- are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Okay, good, because you're

a f***ing idiot.

- Thanks.

- What are you doing with this guy?

- Sharon?

- Are you kidding me?

Sharon, Sharon, please.

Listen, she's just upset

and frankly, so am I.

I gotta find out from Richie what's going on in your marriage?

We just came from a little visit

with your soon-to-be ex-husband.

- CONNIE:
What did you do?

- Quinn.

Quinn, what did you do?

I just talked to the guy.

But believe me,

he got the message.

- What's this you're talking about?

- Nothing.

It's none of your business.

Just butt out.

- Can I talk to you privately?

- Sure.

[sighs] us...

- What did you do to him?

- I did not hurt him.

Not that he didn't deserve it.

But you know what?

I got a question for you.

This is going on,

you don't tell me about it?

- What's that about?

- Well, it's not like we talk a lot, Quinn.

I'm still your brother.

And if anybody hurts you ever,

I wanna know about it.

And just so you know,

what I did tell this prick,

is he is never

to go near you again,

which also means,

you are never going near him

again either.

You're finished with this guy.

- I know, I know, I know.

- Do you?

- [sighs]

- Because if this happens again,

I will f***ing kill this guy.

And doing 25 to life,

for homicide,

is really gonna screw up my plans

for the future.

So...

Please don't put me

in that position.

Connie,

I love you.

So, Sharon, uh...

Dad stopped by because he has

some big announcement

he wants to share with all of us.

Isn't that right, Daddy?

Well, it's nothing

to celebrate, really,

although some of you might.

I...

It's just something I...

I need to discuss with you.

Can't wait. I gotta go outside

and make a phone call.

DOTTIE:
Sharon...

[door opening]

[door closes]

Don't mind her, Daddy.

She's just a spoiled brat.

Yeah, can't blame her though.

Can't blame her.

What are you talking about,

you're not coming back tonight?

Look, we just figured,

since we're already out here

and you seem to be dealing with

some kind of important emergency

that we thought we'd

just hang out a little bit.

What is this "we"?

Me and Abbie.

Yeah, yeah, I know who.

Sharon, I don't know what

you want me to say, okay?

You and your brother seemed

to think it was fine to take off

and abandon us

without saying anything.

I don't know what the f*** you thought

was gonna happen.

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