The Fluffy Movie: Unity Through Laughter Page #13

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And I was like, "Right?"

So I gave him a real hug.

I got his direct info, and, you know,

he told me he was going back to Mexico

for eight months and he

was gonna come back,

and he told me I had two sisters

that I didn't know about,

and I couldn't take it.

My girl and I, we get in the car,

and we go to my mom's house.

We get to the front,

and my mom hears the car,

so she comes outside, and she's like...

"What are you doing here?"

I go, "Mom, you are not gonna

believe who I just had dinner with."

"Obama."

I go, "No, Ma, this is actually

"bigger than Obama,

if you could believe this."

I say, "Let's go inside the house.

"This is a good one,

a really good one."

So she goes inside. I follow her,

my girl's behind me.

Close the door. I go, "Mom, listen."

I says, "I need you to sit down,

"because what I got to

tell you is a big deal."

"Mijo, don't tell me to sit

down in my own house."

I go, "Mom, trust me.

You want to sit down."

"What? Who did you have

dinner with? Who? Who?"

"I had dinner with my dad."

And she got all Telemundo.

And I hugged her, and she's

being like an octopus.

And I'm trying to grab her,

and I'm looking at my girl.

"Baby, help me." She's like,

"That's your mom. This is you."

I finally get my mom to

sit down, and she's...

And she keeps saying the same thing

over and over. "El dinero. El dinero."

"The money. The money.

He wants the money.

"El cabron has cable now."

When she finally calmed down,

the first thing she says to me is...

"Who looks better?"

"Are you serious, Mom?

You're 11 years older than him,

"and you want to know

who looks better?"

"I'm just asking."

"You look better." "You're such a liar."

"Why are you asking me?"

"What does he want?

"He wanted to buy a car?

What? What, what, what?"

I go, "Mom, listen.

"My dad, all he wanted

"was he just wanted to talk to me.

He doesn't want any money.

"He doesn't want me

to buy him anything.

"He's got a ranch in Mexico.

He's very happy.

"He just wanted to talk

and ask some questions

"and hopefully answer some

questions, and he told me...

"Mom, Mom, my dad told me

"that I have two sisters

that I didn't know about."

"Ah. I could have

told you about that."

"You knew I had two sisters,

and you didn't tell me?"

"Mijo, you don't like

the ones you have now.

"I'm going to burden you

con otras dos cabronas

"que no les va a hablar,

ni a mandar e-mail?"

So we talked for a good hour,

and then I brought it up.

I said, "Listen, Mom,

I asked my dad for a favor."

"You should. You should ask

him for many favors..."

I go, "Look, Mom, I'm going to

ask you for the same favor."

"Why? Why am I getting...

"I raised you while this cabron

was at the bars in Tijuana...

"Why are..."

I go, "Mom, listen. It's an easy favor,

but it's a hard one, okay?

"I don't have any pictures of you,

my dad, and me together."

"Because he wasn't there!" "Mom!

"I know he wasn't there,

but you know what?

"He's here now, and he's not that bad.

It would mean a lot to me if I could

"take a picture with the

two of you and myself,

"so that I could frame it

and put it on my wall."

"Why?"

"Mom, so that when people

come over to the house,

"I can point and go, 'Look.

Those are my parents.'

"I've never been able to do that.

"It would mean a lot to be able to say,

'Look, these are my parents.'

"One picture.

"Just one picture."

So I says, "Would you

please entertain the idea

"of getting together with

us for a few minutes,

"so that we could just

take some pictures?"

And she goes, "No, mijo,

you can't ask me to do that."

And we went back and forth for a while,

and she eventually agreed to it.

She goes, "Okay, pero not right now.

"Ahorita no, mijo. No, I have to get

ready." I'm like, "Oh, God, really?"

I go, "Well, Mom, here's the deal.

My dad went back to Mexico.

"He'll be back here in eight months.

Is that long enough?"

"I can do eight months.

"Eight months, s, se puede.

Eight months, okay."

"All right." And I was

excited, you guys.

We had a date planned out,

we had a restaurant, and I told her,

"Look, here's how

it's gonna work, Mom.

"We're gonna walk

into this restaurant.

"You're gonna sit on my left,

he's gonna sit on my right,

"and we're gonna take three pictures,

and then we're gonna leave,

"and I'm going to take

you to Golden Corral."

And she tells me, "Why does

he get to sit on the right?"

"You can sit on the right.

Oh, my God!"

So the date was set eight months later,

and unfortunately for me,

- my mom died before I got that opportunity.

- Aw!

The only bright side to the picture,

is that I got a photo

from my brother...

It's a black-and-white picture, 8x10.

It's a picture of my mom and my dad

the night they met at a bar in

Tijuana when my dad was performing.

It's a picture of him in his

mariachi outfit, right?

And he's got the microphone,

and my mom is sitting front row

center with a white miniskirt on.

And she's got her hand like this,

and she's looking at my dad,

and she has this look on her face like,

"We're going to make a Fluffy."

I never framed it. I keep

it at home in a drawer.

It's weird for me to look at

the picture on a regular basis,

so I keep it in a

folder in my drawer.

Every now and then,

I'll open it, take a look at it.

I'm like, "All right.

It's cool." It'll make me smile.

Here's what I was

talking about earlier

about the whole parallels

with my son and with me.

As this whole situation's going on,

where my dad comes back into my life,

Frankie's dad comes back into

his life at the exact same time.

And for me, you guys,

this was way more upsetting

than the whole situation with my dad.

This guy e-mails me, right?

He had my e-mail address.

And of course,

now he decides to use it.

And I recognized the

name as soon as I saw it.

And then I opened up the e-mail,

and right away, "I want to

thank you for raising Frankie.

"I want to thank you for

being there for Frankie.

"I want to be involved

in Frankie's life.

"I want to take him to sports.

I want to get involved.

"I want to be there

for him financially..."

And I'm getting pissed.

I'm getting piss...

I'm screaming again. I'm like, "Really?

Now you want to get involved?

"Now you want to be a part of this,

"after all the love

and time and energy

"I put into a kid that wasn't even mine?

Are you shitting me?

"I just got him to

take out the trash."

I started yelling at the screen more,

and my girl hears me, so she comes in.

She goes, "What's going on? Relax."

I go, "Look at the screen.

Look at the screen."

"What? Relax." "Look at the screen."

"Calm down." So she starts reading.

And as soon as she starts

reading, she starts,

"Oh, this a**hole,

now he's going to ruin every..."

And now I got to be her rock.

So I stand up, and I'm like,

"No, it's okay. Shh..."

"But he's going to..."

Frankie hears his mom

getting hysterical,

and then he walks into the office,

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