The Gay Divorcee Page #2

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Have you time for an encore?

- Sorry, guvnor. My time's too valuable.

- Oh, so sorry.

Don't you want to ask me

who sent that, sir?

Oh, I see, the play spirit.

All right, tell me. Who sent it?

The young lady gave me 3 shillings,

sir, and asked me not to tell.

Oh, yes. I see.

"And asked me not to tell."

- Guy.

- Yeah?

- Package for you.

- A package?

- Yeah.

- Oh, that's my raincoat.

That must be her handwriting.

Let me see.

I used to study handwriting.

- Yeah.

- Oh, it's very neat.

Yes. The O's and the A's are open.

That means extravagance.

Look at the way she crosses her T's.

That denotes temper.

She makes little circles instead of dots.

Dreadful. It's an unfailing sign of vanity.

Yes. Of course, don't let me

discourage you. L...

Guy, what is the matter with you?

You seem to be under some sort of a spell.

I am, and for the first time in my life.

What are you looking for?

- Where's the note?

- Oh, no note.

- No note?

- No note.

- Did you talk to the messenger?

- I did.

And he said that she asked him

not to tell where it came from.

I wonder if she resented

my tearing her skirt.

Well, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

That's the usual reaction.

- What did you do that for?

- She couldn't move.

Sounds very unsporting of you.

Guy, really.

Well, you don't understand.

You see, she... It was an accident.

- It usually is. What's her name?

- I don't know.

- Where does she live?

- I don't know.

My, what an interesting romance.

I was in hopes that she'd send some note

with this raincoat, along with her address.

Well, without having the prophetic powers

of a seventh son...

...I would hazard that she doesn't want

to see you anymore.

Yes. Well...

...I'm going to rush off

to the office.

- What are you going to do, Guy?

- I'm going to start looking for her.

I'll find that girl, Egbert,

if it takes me from now on.

Well, it shouldn't be difficult. After all,

there are only 3 million women in London.

It's just like looking for a needle

In a hay stack

Searching for a moonbeam in the blue

Still, I've gotta find you

It's just like looking for a raindrop

In the ocean

Searching for a dewdrop in the dew

Still, I've got to find you

I'll roam the town

In hopes that we'll meet

Look at each face

I pass on the street

For sometimes I hear

The beat of your feet

But it's just imagination

Oh, it's like looking for a needle

In a haystack

Still, I'll follow every little clue

'Cause I've got to find you

It's just like looking for a needle

In a haystack

Searching for a moonbeam in the blue

Still, I've got to find you

It's just like looking for a raindrop

In the ocean

Searching for a dewdrop in the dew

Still, I've gotta find you

I'll roam the town

In hopes that we'll meet

Look at each face

I pass on the street

Sometimes I hear

The beat of your feet

But it's just imagination

Though it's like looking for a needle

In a haystack

Still, I'll follow every little clue

'Cause I've gotta find you

Hello, hello.

I've been looking for you.

Well, wait a minute.

Please stop. I want to talk to you.

Isn't it peaceful here?

Would you mind moving your car,

or don't you want it anymore?

Yes, Guy, it is peaceful, isn't it?

What a shame.

Two perfectly beautiful cars.

In a moment,

the air will be full of fenders.

Wait. Would you mind hitting it

just about there?

That cigarette lighter

never did work anyway.

Well, don't say I didn't warn you.

Porter. Porter.

Can't do it.

I guess I'm too economical.

Now there.

Can I offer you something?

Frosted chocolate, Cointreau,

Benedictine, marriage?

What was that last?

- Benedictine.

- No, after that.

Oh, marriage.

Do you always propose marriage

as casually as that?

There's nothing casual about it.

I've given it a lot of sincere thought.

Matter of fact, I've lost sleep.

Do you realize I've spent

the last two weeks looking for you?

Didn't you get your coat all right?

Yes, but I missed something.

Some little note telling me

where I could get in touch with you.

I've got to know something

about you:

Whether you're happy,

what flowers you like...

...your favorite books and music.

Look, when do I see you again?

Won't you please tell me

where I can get in touch with you?

You can't.

I'm staying with friends, old friends.

You'd be much too upsetting. I wouldn't

know what you were going to do next.

Well, if you won't give me

your phone number, here's mine.

Just wasting paper.

I thought you were economical.

That's better.

May I go now?

All right. But you will try

and call me tomorrow, won't you?

I'll be waiting.

I'll be waiting every day.

And then I'll rest up at night

so I can wait some more.

I say, old chap, do you mind

letting us through here?

Oh, rather. Right you are. Cheerio.

Right you are, sorry.

Awfully sorry, folks. Right.

I bought this in a sporting goods store.

Wait. You didn't tell me your name.

Mimi.

Mimi?

Mimi.

- I'll tell Mr. Fitzgerald you're here, Mrs...

- Thank you very much.

Hortense, it's hopeless.

I don't know why we're here.

Darling, Egbert's

a very old friend of mine.

He doesn't know much about law.

It's his father who's the brains.

You know, all of his family

spent their entire lives at the bar.

Dear Egbert. He was nearly

my third husband.

He would have been, too, but he suddenly

left for India on an elephant hunt.

I wonder why he preferred to hunt elephants

when he could've married me.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Ditherwell, Mr. Fitzgerald

doesn't seem to recall your name.

Why, what do you mean, he doesn't?

Oh, of course, I've been married again.

He wouldn't know me as Ditherwell.

That was my third husband, my last.

Now, let me see.

What name did Egbert know me by?

Hortense, darling.

I didn't marry in 1929 or '30.

That was the year of the crash. Men

didn't know whether they had money.

Well... Well, I tell you

just what you say.

You say "peanuts." He'll know.

- Peanuts?

- Yes.

You know, the association of ideas.

Peanut, elephant. Elephant hunt, me.

- I'll tell him "peanuts," madam.

- Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

She said to say, "peanuts."

Oh, did she?

Well, tell her I don't want any.

She also mentioned something about India.

Elephant hunting.

Well, that makes it,

"peanuts, India, elephant hunt."

That doesn't make sense. Horte...

Oh, no. No, it couldn't be.

Tell her I'm not here.

Tell her I'm in conference.

Tell her I'm out of town.

Egbert, darling.

Oh, darling.

Oh, you mustn't mind him.

He's so impetuous.

You do look wonderful,

and you look just the same.

The same sweet smile,

and the same dear little eyes.

I want you to meet my niece,

Mrs. Glossop.

Mrs. Glossop.

- How do you do, Mrs. Glossop?

- How do you do?

- Glad to know you.

- Thank you. Well, yes. Sit down.

- Sit down.

- Yes, thank you.

I'm here professionally, Egbert.

This poor little thing is married,

unhappily married.

Now, isn't that criminal?

It's no crime to be married.

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