The Giant Mechanical Man Page #2

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I mean, whether you like it or not, you're a farmer

and you have got to plow the fields.

- What fields?

- You know what I'm saying.

You think I wanna sit behind a desk,

in a little room and push a pencil around the paper all day?

Hell no! But I do it.

Why?

You know that song by The Little River Band,

'Have you heard about the lonesome loser"?

- Great song.

- Well, Tim, if you're not careful, you're gonna end up like the guy in that song.

You're a farmer. Plow the fields.

- Hello?

- Where are you, Janice?

- Oh, hey Jill.

- Are you coming over? Oh... Hold on, hold on.

I know. We ran out of dip.

- Janice?

- Yeah.

- Did you hear me? I said we ran out of dip.

- I didn't know you were talking to me.

- Huh?

- I said I didn't know you were talking to me!

- What does that mean?

- I thought you were talking to someone at the party.

- I'm talking to you, I called you, Janice.

- No, I know, but...

- Aah, Jesus Christ, Janice. Are you even listening?

We ran out of dip. For the chips.

We have no more dip!

- Okay, I'm sorry.

- Don't be sorry, Just, bring some more dip.

- I'll pay you back, don't worry, you're coming, right? Janice?

- Yeah, I'm coming!

Okay great, just bring some more dip, and I'll... click

- Why'd you ring the door bell?

- I don't know.

So weird. Just walk in.

- Bring the dip?

- Yup.

- Hey, Janice.

- Honey, you've gotta come hear Larry's wisdom tooth story.

- Okay, we'll be there in a minute.

- Hey, Brian.

- I want you to meet someone.

- What? No, no, I don't, I don't want to ..

- Oh, come here.

- I wasn't planning to stay, yeah, because I'm not feeling right.

- You're fine.

- No, I really...

- There he is.

- Steps, you gotta follow 'em.

- All right, let's go.

- No, I'm not feeling good...

- Yes. Just take off your jacket.

- Stop it!

- Doug.

- Hey...

- this is my sister I was telling you about.

- Ohhh. Hey, Jill's sister.

- Alright, you two have fun.

- Hey, I'm Doug Duncan.

- Hi, I'm Janice.

- Hey, Janice.

- Hi.

- That's a really pretty sweater that you have on.

- Oh.

- Is that wool?

- Uh, I don't know.

- Hmm, it feels like wool.

- Is it itchy?

- Uh, not really.

- I once had a wool sweater, it was really itchy.

I almost wore it when I was flying to London,

first class, for a book signing.

- I'm an author.

- Oh, okay.

- Yeah, well, I guess they fly you first class to these things, I don't know...

But I'm lucky I didn't wear the sweater because

when I got there I had to go right from the airport

to a live interview at the BBC. So...

- The British Broadcasting Company.

- Right.

- Anyway, uh, what do you do?

- Um .. I don't really know how to answer that.

Corporation, sorry.

British Broadcasting Corporation. I always do that.

Uhh, but it was tough, you know, it was like three hours, and if had I worn the wool sweater.

I'd be like, you know, itchy much.

But it's serious, you can't be itchy on camera.

It's like a big no-no.

So, um. Do you have any hobbies? One of my hobbies is

helping kids?

Blind kids, build a church?

Residents on the south side are finding themselves knee deep in sewage

after a pipe broke near the corner of

Washington Boulevard and Main Street.

City officials have shut down Washington in order to fix the problem.

And we're told, construction could keep

the road closed through the New Year.

Boy, that's gonna make it rough on some of our commuters.

But let's take this over to Hal Baker, our man on the street.

- Who actually isn't on the street today.

He's in the studio. Hal?

- That's right, John. Thank you.

So some of you may have seen my next guest out on the street

some afternoon and wondered "Who the heck is that guy?"

Well we're here to find out. His name is Tim Tucker

And he's known as the "The Giant Mechanical Man."

- Hi, Tim

- Hi.

- Hey! That's quite an outfit you got there, huh?

Oh thanks, I, I've been, uh, sort of refining it over the years.

Well, that brings me to my first question.

Why'dcha choose to start doing this, uh, robot thing?

Why'd I choose to do it. Uh. This just happens to be my talent.

- Interesting.

- And I feel like, um...

Um, and also maybe that people would, you know,

brighten people's lives up.

- What'd'ya mean?

.. can be alienating.

And It can be like you're mindlessly

walking through it, like a robot.

And, you can feel lost.

I guess I just want people to know that they're not crazy, okay?

Everybody at home, everybody watching the show today,

you're not crazy, I mean, life is crazy, right?

Maybe if you see a giant mechanical man, you know,

wandering down the street, towards you.

You know, maybe that could put it into perspective, everything. You know?

- You know what would be good for your routine? Break-dancing.

- Break-dancing.

Like the wave! Can you do the wave?

- No, I don't do that, I don't do the wave.

- You know what I mean, the wave.

- No, Yeah, No, I know what it is, I just don't, I don't do it.

- Right. Right. Uh, I used to be able to moonwalk.

Here..., here he goes.

That's not what I'm trying to say.

I'm, I'm, I don't do that sort of stuff, the wave, the moonwalk.

I'm not that kind of...

Oh you should. It's fun!

Alright dude. Are we done?

- Hello?

- Hey, Jill. Uh, listen, I, I need a place to stay for a little while.

- Why? Get evicted or something?

- Yeah, I might...

- Might? Where are you calling from?

- Um. I found a pay phone.

Uh, I've been trying to call you.

What happened to your cell phone?

- It got turned off.

- What? How did that happen?

- I'm just...I'm having a hard time right now, Jill.

- What's the matter, Janice?

- I just need a place to stay for a while, okay?

- Yeah. Okay. That's fine. I mean, you can stay here.

We'll come get you tomorrow.

Okay, thanks.

Hey, I saw you on television.

Hey! I saw you on television.

I feel like those people you were talking about.

Like I was just born into this life and

I'm supposed to, know what I'm doing.

Like I'm supposed to have it all figured out.

But I don't have it all figured out.

I just feel... lost.

Anyway. Thanks.

God, did you guys know that Bianca Jones and Lee

Dermot broke up?

Oh God, you know who else is breaking up?

Joe Lorrie and Ashley Seib.

Okay.

I'm gonna get more coffee.

So, we have something for you.

A little welcome gift, I guess.

- We think you are really going to like it.

- Oh my God, it's like the coolest gift ever.

- What is it?

- Well it's something that is one of a kind.

- Totally, totally unique.

- Yeah.

- Wow, what is it?

- Guess.

- What?

- Guess. I mean you will never guess, but just try to guess.

- Okay, um, why do you want me to guess...

- Is it a hat?

- A hat?

- I don't know.

- A hat. It is definitely not a hat.

- Why would you guess that? Why?

- I don't know, I, you said to guess, I don't...

No really, I mean, Janice. Please, once, for once in your

life just take yourself seriously, all right?

Your life is upside down, it's in shambles,

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