The Giant Mechanical Man Page #3

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and you guess a hat?

- I'm taking it seriously.

- Okay, maybe we should just give it to her.

- Fine. just give it to her.

- Close your eyes.

Alright.

It is... this.

- Oh, it's a book.

- Yes, Doug Duncan. Remember him from the party?

- Yeah.

- I, uh, clean his teeth, Janice.

He wanted us to give it to you.

And he even sign it on the inside. Open it!

What does it say?

"Dear Janice, how about we discuss over dinner? Doug Duncan".

- Isn't that awesome?

- You should definitely go out with him, Janice.

- Absolutely.

I mean this is the answer, you know? He's amazing. He'll teach you how to talk, because sometimes you're not very good at that.

Well, thank you.

- Well, I've got an opening in sanitation.

- Sanitation.

Yeah, it's pretty simple. Just sweep out the cages, take out the trash, kid drops his popcorn, you clean it up.

- Does cold weather bother you?

- No, I'm used to it.

Good. Oh, the other downside is you gotta clean the toilets too.

It's all cleaning toilets, at this point.

I'm sorry to heard that. Okay then, well, why don't we just get you a uniform, give you a broom, and you'll be on your way.

- Okay.

- Well, it's nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

Excuse me?

- Excuse me?

- Yeah?

- You work here?

- Do I work here?

No, I'm trapped here.

- What?

- Miserable human being.

That's what they call this exhibit.

Uh, I'm looking for the employment office.

- I'm just looking for my coin.

The employment office, okay, right down there, pass the monkeys on the right.

You can't miss it.

Thanks.

Hey...

Okay, Well how about concessions?

I mean you're over qualified for the job, but if you're desperate, I can give you that.

- I am desperate.

- Okay then.

- Just one.

- Hi.

Thank you.

- Hey there.

- Hi.

I think I saw you yesterday, I was cleaning out the fountain?

- Oh yeah, they let you out?

- Nope. I escaped.

- So, looks like you got the job.

- Yup.

- What do you do?

- I sell these little plastic gorillas filled with grape juice.

Uh, yup. Yup, I've cleaned up a lot of those.

Hopefully it's just temporary,

until I figure out my life.

I get it.

- It's depressing, right?

- What do you mean?

I mean, human beings evolved over billions of years...

out of the swamp, we stood up...

made fire, built shelter, invented the wheel.

For what? So you can stand in a funny hat

and sell grape juice gorillas?

Kinda tryin' not to think about it like that.

I'm sorry.

Don't worry, you're not the only one whose

trying to figure out their life.

- "How to have Winning..."

- "Winning Conversations".

Winning Conversations? Okay...

- Are we having one right now?

My sister gave it to me.

- Any good?

- I don't know.

- I guess, I'm having dinner with the author, so

I figured I should, you know, read it.

- Right.

Alright, well. Got to get back to the grind.

- I'll see you later, Janice.

- See you later.

Watch out for the polar bear.

Hi. What's in the gorillas?

Some kind of sugar drink?

- It's grape juice.

- Oh! You want a grape juice, honey?

- I want two grape juice.

- No, just one, how much are they?

- Six dollars.

Wow. Alright, just one.

Thanks.

Ok, hold on.

You said this was grape juice, lady. It isn't a grape juice.

- It isn't?

- No, it's grape drink, I want my money back.

- Can I have it, daddy?

- No, you can't, honey.

- But I want it!

- Too much sugar, I'm sorry.

- Gosh! Indian giver!

- Whoa! Where did you hear that?

- Thanks a lot, lady.

- I'm.. I'm.. I'm sorry.

- Ah-ah-ah-ah I'm sorry...

You need to get a life.

What are you doing in here, Janice? I'm really busy,

I'm trying to set up a catering gig downtown.

- Well I could do that, George.

- No, damn it, now. Come on, don't do this, Janice.

Don't make me feel guilty.

I told you this is not the job for you.

- Please, George, I need to pay my rent.

- We all need to pay our rent, Janice.

- We're just.... What is the matter with you?

- Nothing.

- Why're you doing that thing with your mouth?

- Nothing, George. I just need to pay my rent.

- What the hell, your teeth, Janice. They're falling out of your mouth!

- I don't know what's happening to me, George.

Your teeth fall out of your face!

Morning, Janice.

You missed a spot.

- What?

- You missed a spot.

- I did? Where?

- Oh no, I was just joking.

Huh? What'd I miss?

Oh, no, no. I was just joking. I was just making a joke.

Oh oh oh, I missed a spot.

Yeah, yeah. That's funny.

- I don't know, maybe it's not.

- No, no, it's hysterical, it's really funny.

- He just poked the monkey!

- What?

That guy.

How would he like it if someone did that to him?

- I'm gonna find out. Come on. Hey! Hey!

- What?

- Don't poke the monkey, man.

- Hey, chill out, I'm not hurting him.

- I saw what you did, you poked him.

- I did not poke the monkey. Nice hat.

- Yes, you did. How would you like it if someone poked you?

- Do you wanna poke me?

- No, no, but I'm gonna poke you, you a**hole.

- Yeah, bet you'd like that.

- There, how you like it? Huh? You like that?

- Go Janice!

- You like being poked at?

Like that!? Like that!? Like that!?

- Don't poke the monkey!

- Monkey!!!

- You okay?

- Yeah.

- He was poking at the babies.

- I know, I know, I know. I loved that.

There you go. There you go.

Don't poke the f***in' monkey!

Did you see his face? He was freaked out.

I loved when you grab it out of my hand.

He was totally freaked...

Don't poke the monkey, don't poke the monkey!

- Do you think we're gonna get fired?

- No.

- I can't afford to get fired.

- We'll be all right.

- We need to rearrange that habitat or it's just gonna happen again.

- You should tell her that.

- I don't wanna...

Hey.

Well, first of all, you guys are a hell of a security team.

- But second ..

- Sonia, look, if you gonna fire anyone, fire me, okay?

- I started it. Janice should not be fired.

- I'm not gonna fire anybody.

Look, between you and me,

I'm glad you guys stuck up for the monkey.

But, in the future, let's just call security, okay?

- Okay?

- Okay.

- Okay.

I think Janice had a suggestion, though?

Tell her, what? Tell her that thing you were just telling me.

What is it?

Well... It's just that, um...

Right now the way the habitat is arranged...

uh, people can get right up to the rail, which is right where the monkeys sleep, and...

If we move the rail back or put in a tree

or something to give the monkeys more privacy...

It would just be better, because when people

see a sleeping monkey, they can't help but yell at it.

She's right. I mean, some of these people are just wacko.

We've gotta protect the animals better.

- Especially the babies.

- I... I didn't kn... realize they were so exposed.

- It's wide open.

- We're gonna have to fix that, then.

I'll call the habitat coordinator.

Thanks, Janice.

You're welcome.

Nice.

Webster's Dictionary defines the word 'conversation'

as the oral exchange of ideas,

opinions and observations.

Hi, I'm Doug Duncan, and thank you so much for

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