The Giant Mechanical Man Page #5

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the weather and stupid stuff like that.

But when it came to true emotion, expression of feelings...

The words just get blocked.

Right here, in the... neck, area.

Not anymore, now when I want something, bang, instant words.

For instance, um, gosh .. I don't know...

If I wanted to kiss you, I'd just say

"Hey, I want to kiss you."

Simple, just like that.

I'm not saying it now, we're in a restaurant, and uh,

It'd be weird.

It'd be weird.

Plus I don't wanna seem to be to forward or anything.

But, um, I could easily say it any moment,

so, be on the lookout for that.

Let's see what is for dessert, tonight.

I need a whiskey, neat?

I did a podcast, you know? I have twitter.

I did a book on... Ahh, I forgot my jacket, I'll be right back.

- Tim

- Janice, hey.

- Hey, what are you doing here?

- I'm just getting a drink.

Do you, uh, want to join me?

Threw my jacket into the goddamn bus tote.

It's got like a steak sauce stain, or somethin'.

- Uh, Doug, this is my friend Tim.

- Ah! What's up, bro? It's a cool hat.

- Thanks, bro.

- Right.

- Alright, I'll see you at work tomorrow, right?

- Okay.

- Cool.

- Hey Tim.

- Hey Janice. How's it goin'?

- Good, how are you?

- I'm okay, just takin' a break, watchin' the penguins.

Oh yeah. I love these guys.

- So...

- That was weird .. last night.

- Yeah.

- That was the guy, right, the author guy?

- Yeah, that was him.

- Yeah.

- We were just hangin' out.

- Yeah, yeah.

We should hang out?

- Who?

- You and me.

- Okay.

- Yeah, like, soon, like, tomorrow night.

You got plans tomorrow night?

-No.

- You should go to a party with me. Do you wanna go to a party with me?

- Okay, yeah. Sure.

Good.

Oh, look at that guy.

- Hey, sister.

- Oh, Hey.

- You should try level seven.

- No, this is fine.

Fine, suit yourself.

- What?

- I've got good news for you.

- What?

- I think you gonna like it.

- What, Jill? What? What is the news?

Doug Duncan asked Brian about you today.

I guess he liked his date.

- Oh. yeah?

- Yep, and he's taking the four of us out to dinner Thursday night.

- Oh.

- And you're not saying no. I'm not letting you say no.

- What are you doing?, Jill! Jill!

- You gotta burn, Janice.

Doug Duncan likes it slim.

There she is.

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

- You look beautiful. Hey, this is Janice.

- Janice?

- Hi.

- Hi, I heard a lot about you.

- Oh, really? Wow.

- That is awesome.

- What's up man?

- Hello, Tim.

- What's up, man?

- Good to see you, man.

- Good to see you.

- This is my friend.

- Hey, what's up? I'm Wesley.

- Hi, I'm Janice.

- Hey, I want you, to have these.

You want me to have them? Okay.

I'll take your photograph.

It's gonna be funny.

- This man is a great photographer.

- Ohhhh, that's beautiful.

- Yeah!

Uh, thanks everyone.

I'm so glad you all came.

You're the best friends,

a person could hope for.

You're like family to me.

It's true, I don't care if it sounds cheesy. It's true.

- And um, I also want to thank my wonderful man, Wesley.

- Wesley!

He's always so supportive of me and makes me feel loved

um, and it's true, what they say...

It only takes just one person, just, one person...

... to make you feel, special, and valid, and, like you belong

in the world.

Okay, Let's have some cake! Cake!

- I thought he was talking to you.

- No, no, apparently he was talking to you.

- I didn't answer him.

- No, but he was standing there, he's very close talker.

Very close.

- Where were you born? Were you born here?

- No, I was born in Wyoming, actually.

Wyoming? Wow. I heard good thing about Wyoming.

I heard it's beautiful there.

Yeah, I heard that too. I don't really remember,

'cause I was sort of moved away when I was little.

- Sorta moved away?

- Yeah, well, I'm adopted, so, I was, adopted, basically.

- Okay, what was that like?

- Being adopted?

-Yeah.

- Um, it was... weird... because, my little sister, Jill, is

not adopted ..

So that was kinda...you know, I mean, it's fine now.

But. Well, when I was seven, I really wanted to grow up and moved away.

And I thought that growing up meant that you lose your baby teeth

and you get your big ones. You know, then you're grown up?

And I read in this book that

if you tie a piece of string around your tooth

and then you tie the other end to a door knob, you can slam the door and your baby tooth will come out.

- So I tried it.

- And what happened? Did your teeth fall out?

mm-mm, the door slammed back into my head and I had to get 3 stitches.

- Oh, sh*t.

- It was a bad idea.

- Let me see it.

- Right there.

- Okay, I see.

- Right here above my eyebrow? Can you see it?

- Ah, yeah, Oh yeah, I get it.

- mm-mm.

- I like that.

Makes you look tough,

looks like you're kickin' ass with those stitches.

Yeah. My dad would tell me to say

"Well you should see the door."

You know, cause...

Anyway, I don't know, it's a dad joke, right...

Sometimes I have dreams that my, my teeth are falling out.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

- I had that drea--I just had that dream. It freaked me out.

Don't worry.

It's not, it's common...People have it all the time, or at least that's what they say.

- Do you know what it means?

- Well, your, you know, your teeth are for chewing, or, or biting.

And you know, they're powerful.

And they're falling out, so you feel powerless.

- Mmm. Okay.

- Yeah, I have it all the time.

But you know what helps?

Apple Pie.

- Really?

- It makes you feel really powerful.

- Well we should split one than.

- You wanna split a whole pie?

- Okay.

- You wanna?

- Do you?...

- Yeah, absolu-- Excuse me, can we get that whole pie?

Can we take the whole thing?

Thank you. That looks tremendous.

- Thanks a lot.

- She just gave you a whole pie.

Yeah, let's do it.

Come on in.

- Want a beer?

- Sure.

- Oh, I like your place.

- Oh, thanks, it's rent controlled.

So, they keep trying to kick me out.

- It's kinda drafty in here.

You cold?

- No. Uh-uh.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

- Where'd you get it?

- I found it.

- It's so small.

- I think it looks like me.

- Really?

- Mm-mm.

- No. .. you're prettier.

- How about now?

- Yup, still prettier.

- You think so?

- I do.

I think you're just... great.

Because you know what's so great about you? You're real.

You don't pretend like you got it all figured it out.

Like everyone else walking around life.

You're real. You're genuine. And... you notice things too.

You pay attention .., like the monkeys.

I dunno, I look at you...

I can see you.

I see you.

I just think you're great.

- Thank you.

- I mean it though.

Seriously, I would've quit the zoo a

long time ago if you didn't work there. Really.

- Thank you.

- Don't thank me, just...

Are you dating the "winning conversations" guy or what?

- No.

- You're not?

- Dating him? No.

Alright, I was just checking,

because you never know.

I wanted to ask you, um...

So have you, run into that giant mechanical guy walkin' around?

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