The Girl Who Invented Kissing Page #3

It's as loud as thunder

In the morning when

The telephone rings

Clearer days in

Some distant forecast

Dark days in this

Present past

In the blur of some

Phantom widescreen

I'll let go of what

I never had

Sometimes

I can't remember nothing

Sometimes

It shadows everything

Some Sundays it's as loud

As thunder

In the morning when

The telephone rings

Un-f***in-believable!

Awesome.

And what's with you?

- Huh?

- What?

I thought you said

you didn't know her.

I've seen her around.

Oh, you seen her around?

Is that how all the uh,

the "hello Victor"

business happened?

Look at you,

got your nice shirt on,

you smell like a barbershop.

Starting to think,

maybe Vic's got a girlfriend

he's been keeping from us.

What?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Yeah?

Didn't I just talk to you

yesterday,

about doing that sh*t

in my bathroom?

Doing what?

What you were doing.

Peeing?

No, not peeing!

You know what I'm talking about!

Smoking weed in my bathroom!

I wasn't smoking weed.

- Yes, you were...

- No, I wasn't.

- Yes, you were...

- No, I wasn't!

Do you think

I'm a f***ing idiot?

Honestly, you think I'm stupid?

We all imagined the smell

of marijuana billowing out

of the bathroom door,

not two feet away from the bar?

Is that

what you're gonna tell me?

Huh?

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Just do me a favor.

If you're gonna

smoke that stuff,

smoke outside, not in here.

- I got it.

- JIMMY:
Yeah?

- Yeah.

- You're clear?

Clear.

[SIGHING]

Can I go now?

I'm not the principal, go.

JIMMY:
What am I running

an opium den?

DONNIE:
You gotta point, Jimmy.

Cops come in here

and smell that,

you're the one

that's gonna be in trouble.

JIMMY:
Yeah, no sh*t.

Her prancing in here, doing

whatever the hell she wants

like she owns the place.

I wanna know

how this girl knows Vic.

That's a good question, Victor.

[RECORDS CLATTERING]

Hiya, Leo.

THE GIRL:
Hello.

Leo, this is my friend.

- [DOOR CLOSES]

- This is Leo, it's his store.

VICTOR:
Hey, Leo?

You get any new Hank Snow in?

Um no, Vic, I... I don't.

Okay.

When do you think, maybe soon?

You'll be the first

to know, Vic.

You give me no joy, Leo.

Who's Hank Snow?

Hank Snow?

He's The Singing Ranger.

He's a legend.

He was the longest-running

artist on any label.

He was on RCA for 50 years!

He recorded over a hundred

and forty albums.

I only have a few

of them though.

They're hard to get on vinyl.

Ah, this one...

this one's one of my favorites.

I might get it again.

He's had a song on the charts

for five decades in a row.

In 1949, he met Ernie Tubb

and Ernie Tubb got him

into the Grand Ole Opry.

Cool.

- "Confused With the Blues."

- Oh,

"I'm Moving On,"

was number one on the charts

for 29 weeks.

It's his signature song.

Altogether, he had 85 singles

on the charts,

and sold over 90 million albums.

F***!

You know everything

about Hank Snow.

Hank Snow, The Singing Ranger.

He's a legend.

Well, why's he called

The Singing Ranger?

Was he a park ranger

or something?

Do you know?

I... I never thought about it.

Okay, we're done.

See ya', Leo.

GIRL:
You own the whole house?

Yeah.

Me and Jimmy.

It's a two-family.

Our grandma used to live

downstairs here before she died.

Well, who lives here now?

VICTOR:
Nobody.

It's just the way

Grandma left it

before her heart stopped

last Thanksgiving.

Her heart stopped?

It quit on her.

Grandma took care

of me and Jimmy

after our parents died.

She was the best.

- Hey.

- Yeah?

Do you wanna see it?

[DOOR SQUEAKING]

Um, this is the dining room.

This is the living room.

[FLOOR CREAKING]

This is the kitchen.

This is her bedroom.

VICTOR:
That's Grandma.

It's the same picture

we have in The Oak.

She bought me my violin.

I used to play it for her...

but no one else.

Victor, what happened to you?

THE GIRL:

You're different, I know.

You're not like other people.

What happened?

I had an accident

when I was a kid.

It was an act of God.

Yep.

An act of God.

["NAILS" PLAYING]

The stars are falling

And the night's rolling up

The clocks are all twisted

And the bar's in knots

We're dirty, we're spent,

And we're quick like money

And if it wasn't so true,

well...

- I hope you're hungry.

- I am.

Thank you, Victor.

You're a chump, you're a fake,

You're a soft hollowed fist

You didn't want it?

Oh, that was the sweetest thing

that you did that,

but I can't take your pillow.

You understand, right?

Why not?

- Are you leaving?

- No, not right now, but...

pretty soon, I'm sure.

You know, no one's ever

given me their pillow before.

- [SCOFFS]

- [CHUCKLING]

What are you doing?

What you got there?

- It's for you.

- Hmm?

VICTOR:
It's a diamond pin.

Oh, no, no, Victor.

You don't

have to give me presents.

It belonged to my grandmother.

- Victor.

- VICTOR:
Open it.

- Victor, you...

- VICTOR:
Take it.

It's a diamond pin

and it's for you.

Victor, you don't even know me.

Please, take it,

it's a diamond pin.

Take it!

Victor.

VICTOR:
It's a dime-and-pin,

- get it?

- [LAUGHING]

Victor, I f***ing love it!

[LAUGHING]

Did you think

that I fell in love with you?

It's a Henny Youngman joke.

You can give it

to somebody else.

You big goof!

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

Use a fork, will ya'?

I like chopsticks, Jimmy.

It's a Chinese restaurant.

All right, well,

we're not in Tokyo now, are we?

It's a lousy invention,

use the fork.

Hong Kong.

What?

You getting friendly

with this girl, Victor?

- Who?

- Who, you tell me who.

She's my friend, Jimmy.

All right, well...

I don't want you getting

too friendly with her.

She's a pothead,

you know what that means.

- She's bad news.

- She's my friend, Jimmy.

And she says, she says you

seem like a good person.

Oh, is that what she says, huh?

'Cause she knows me so well.

What do you know

about this girl?

Where's she from?

What's her name?

VICTOR:
She don't use a name.

What do you mean,

she don't use a name?

She don't use a name.

JIMMY:
See, that's what

I'm talking about.

What kind of a girl

doesn't use a name, huh?

What's she trying to hide,

she don't use a name?

She's the gal

who invented kissing.

Like the Hank Snow song,

The Gal Who Invented Kissing...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, hold on.

You guys kissed?

Okay, Victor,

I don't want you hanging out

with this girl any more.

I don't need this, okay?

I don't need to be watching out

for you all the time.

You don't have to watch

out for me, Jimmy...

Oh no?

What happened

with the phone booth?

I was pushed.

Pushed by who?

Huh, nobody saw you get pushed.

The girl, she saw it.

Oh, the girl saw you get pushed?

[DOOR BELL RINGING]

Great.

- VICTOR:
What's the matter?

- JIMMY:
Nothing, shut up.

FREDDY:
Oh, look who it is!

- JIMMY:
Hey.

- FREDDY:
Hey Vic.

Jimmy, what do you say?

How's everything, how's The Oak?

- Well, you know, still The Oak.

- FREDDY:
Yeah, yeah.

How's everything, how's Patti?

She's good. You know,

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