The Golden Scallop Page #4

others energy, put out a great

product. Steve's great too. I like

working for him. We haven't seen a huge bump in

business, so Wyatt's on

promotions today. Suck it Martin!! With the Fisherman's Ball

coming up, it's important we

get practice actually talking

to people. Every customer is a friend you

haven't met. Right baby bro? Haha. (Claw)bbered! Good idea, save your energy for

the lunch rush. Every

Stranger's just a friend you haven't met. Waiting for the

lunch rush on Monger's back

deck. Lindsay, you shut place down or

what? -No, no, no, no, no.

-Look, I'm really sorry Linds,

is it me?

-No, relax guys. Everything is fine. After

talking to the Judge today I just wanted to tell you

a story. An inspirational one! To get us ready for service

today. -Quiet. Quiet!! Go ahead Linds-O. Some of you might know this, but a couple years back, I was

coming home from a bar, and I maybe had one too many. I get

pulled over and I know that I'm going to

get a DUI. I throw my keys

outside my window hop out of the car and then I

chug the emergency pint of

vodka that I keep in the glove compartment,

right infront of the cop. He

can't tell if I was drunk,

before when I was driving or after. The only

thing he could hit me up with

was public intoxication. -That's genius.

-What? I guess what I'm trying to say,

is that sometimes even when you mess

up. You know like really,

really, really really mess up. You can make it

better, by just going over the

top with it. You know? Own your mistakes. If

you make a mistake, just own

them. And then find a way to leverage

them to success. -I love it. Yes Mikail. Is DUI like the UTI? -Why do you even know that word?

-You don't want to know baby. Hahaha. So the plate bottom is covered

in tartar sauce. So everything on the plate is

touching the tartar sauce. And we call it, "Sea of White

Plate." -People love tartar sauce. I

know I do. -Cherry, can you come

over here for a second? Rikki-tikki-tavi. Every year, the girls and the

rest of the staff, they get a

little complacent in the middle of the summer.

And usually, I'll let Corey

handle it. But with the added pressure of

the championship, I am going to

have to resort to a tried and true method, dating back to

when I was the most popular

girl in all of Harwich Middle

School public humiliation. Girls listen up! This is how

you are not suppossed to look and act. Cherry here, and thank

you for this, is a prime example of what a loser at The Golden

Scallop will look like. Coincidentally, this is also

what a young, poor, pregnant

teen looks like, in case you

were wondering. Get out of my sight. Corey, go

console her! Not too much compassion,

compassion's a weakness.

Alright girls, get back to work. Chest out, smiles up, capes

back! Go, go, go, go. Look I don't like doing it, I

never have. But whether it's

Peggy Andrews, in seventh grade

social studies flirting with the boy that I

like or an innocent young girl

in a cape I'm going to do whatever it

takes to get what I want. -Does

she remind you of a bad war

general? Yes. Like, you are going

through Russia during winter. Do you want to

mistreat your troops? Napolean, Hitler, -----. Well we ain't got no customers but we got good fish and chip.

And I'm thinking regardless of mood that

positivity is hip. Oh cod fish, you're the

loneliest Fiiiiissssshhhhh. Cod fish, you're the lonliest fish. (humming) ...liest fish Cod fish you're the lonliest...

Hey Wyatt, I think we got one! 52, 19, 220. Haha. Undistractable, can't be

messed up can you? I'm just about done here. You,

um need anything?

-Nope, just about done myself. Just a couple days till the

championship. Ahhhh! Hahaha. Business has been pretty

awesome, it's been great.

Imagine if we win this thing it would be Insane!

-Yes, Seth, that would be

insane. I'm just gonna go home, I

think. I'm gonna watch, "Honey" that Jessica Alba dance movie,

something like that. Probably drink Barolo, my

favorite red wine, just chill

out. Well that sounds fantastic. You could come... you could

come over if you wanted to, just saying.

Totally. Yeah, actually that would be

awesome. I don't think I've done

anything like that in forever. Should we take seperate cars? A girls night is really what I

needed, and Seth is just the

best. He's like the gay uncle I never

had. (Glass shattering) -Oh my god, are you okay?

-Now it's a party!! -Do you want some help?

-No, no, no, you stay right

there. I got lots of glasses. Day before the championship and

the Fisherman's Ball tonight. A

million things to do but I insisted on coming down

here and checking on the

staging. I pulled in a few favors from

my days on the bench, got some

felons to build a stage, part of a work crew. I

don't know how that sits

legally, but it's all in the

name of the Scallop. Wilson! Great

progress you're making. -Oh, Thank you sir, It's coming

along nicely. -Are we going to

be ready for tomorrow? -I don't

see why not, Well if that's the case, how

about those modifications? You

know the ones I emailed you? Mitch told me to disregard all

the emails the Judge sends, but

this one is just too good. "I was

wondering if it wouldn't be too

much trouble if you could build the Judges booth to

resemble the space time

navigation system from Quantum

Leap. There will be some extra coin

in it for you." Then he

proceeds to send me a link to a video of, "Quantum Leap,"

as if I don't know what he's

talking about. Man I love me some Scott Bakula!

-Hey Boys. -I know most of these boys.

Yeah, I remember when you

locked up Tommy. -Yeah, he's a real bad one.

-He's a wild one. Dad, are you coming or what? We have to leave in like fifteen

minutes. -Oh, the Fisherman's

Ball, right. -Hey listen, I don't know if I'm

going to make it this year.

-What do you have to do? I got to wax the floors, I got

to re-arrange the ice box -I got change the lint trap on

the washing machine. -Dad, are

you worried that people are

going to ask you about mom? No, no, no, of course not. It's just, I got a ton of stuff

I got to get done. You

understand. Have a good time without me. -Just make sure that you're

there tomorrow. -Of course. Because I really need you to

help. I've never cooked in one

of these before and you have. -So I need your help.

-Sing your problems out... Oh, just sing your problems

out. This is really happening. Oh, you shouldn't be so

nervous Wyatt. Shouldn't be so

nervous Wyatt. Shouldn't be so bervous, what

do you mean? Everyone's going

to hate us in there. -EVerybody already does hate

us inside there, there's

nothing else we can lose right? That's true, everyone does hate

us. Everyone does hate us. If I sing my problems out, then

everyone's going to hate us

even more... -People couldn't hate us more!

-Haha, that's true. Help me out, lets do, what's

the worst that can happen Wyatt? What's the worst that could

happen Wyatt? I got one. We could go in and they'd be

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