The Golden Scallop Page #5

like, hey there's those tourney

wiz kids, no it's the

despicable Martin's. Oh no! Judge wellington mistook your face for a

scallop and his creepy

assistant date rapes me. Right? Is that going to happen?

Is it likely? Not likely, only like a two

percent chance. Well let's not think about that

and lets focus on what's the

best that could happen. -What's the best that could

happen Wyatt? -So we walk into

the Fisherman's Ball With our heads held up real,

real tall. Everybody's clapping Nana's just napping and Cecil

Martin's blood is all over the

floor! -Whoa, what is dad doing?

Blood. -He's dead! I do feel a lot better. Let's

just go in there! You're right.

What's the worst that could

happen? Kill dad! Hello! So we're here at the

Fisherman's Ball and our entire Judging panel

has arrived. Judge Wellington

of course celebrity food bligger, Sharon

Jennings. The author of the

wealthy palete. And ahh our third... to determine our third judge my

Uncle went a little crazy with

fan participation and held a haiku poetry contest.

The prompt was "What does fried fish mean to

you?" And the winner was Bootstraps

over there, local fisherman. I'm just a little concerned,

because Bootstraps isn't really

the most socially graceful. And he

smells like dead seals. We have a lot of seals on the

cape and they've recently gone

missing. And I think he knows something

about it. Steve. Steve. Do you see anything out of the ordinary right now?

-Now that you mention it. Corey. -Come here.

-Come here?

-Yeah, come here. -There we go. There that's

better. -Thank you. -You ran a multi-million dollar

company at some point? -Yeah. One more, here I completed this

last week. These are amazing Seth. It's

really good craftsmenship. So, you take the dead famous and you make into bear? -Exactly, yeah.

-Could you make one of my

Landlord? Well he's not famous Mikail,

that's what Obitu-bears is

about. I think regular people would

like to be memorialized by them

too. -They're sweet bears.

Yeah, I see where you guys are

going with this, I like that. Yes, there are so many bears to

make dead people out of. That is a great idea, Russian

boy. Steve Williams. The prince of

darkness here is onto

something. WIth the right marketing strategy, these could

take off. -I think with the

right artwork too you could get them all over the

internet. -That would be great,

that's what I want to do. I want

to have a whole online store. No Seth, you make a bear of my

landlord like a voodoo bear, and then he

die. Because he needs to. -Hey a voodoo bear? No. Lindsay

help me out here. -I'm gonna go

get another drink What are you writing? -Just notes for my blog.

-Judge Wellington. I just

wanted to apologize for missing the meeting the

other day. -Oh, forget about

that son, just glad to have you

back in the competition. -Oh, so good to be back.

-Jake Martin was one of the

best chefs I ever met. What would you say your

signature dish is Jake? Positivity and friendship.

Clams, lobster roll.. the whole

thing is just treating the fish gently

as it goes into the batter and

then on the other end it just comes

out golden brown. -Splendid! -I

know where it was, your one of

those boys from the scandal I read

about. -No, that was the father. It's amazing these boys have

the courage to cook up all that

food knowing that everyone despisises their namesake.

-Thank you. It's like when everyone hated

Jack on the island, but he kept

onwards, headstrong. -Yes, but Locke was almost

always right. -Oh, hodge podge,

Jack was the back bone of the show and the

island. -I never got that show What was the polar bear about? Yeah, in the "Lost." Right? The polar bear, the white polar

bear. I just didn't get that. -You actually said that to him.

Oh my god. -New York is like

that, it's just so alive, you

know you can just do anything and

it's exciting. Now I'm just this little old fish lady.

-One who is in the largest

fried seafood championship in the east. That's

not too shabby. -I know but I

don't even care about it, I came back to help

my dad and now it seems like he

doesn't even care so I don't even know what I'm

doing here. I'm just bored, you

know? Well you're not boring. Ah, thank you Rich. I really think Lindsay and I

are hitting it off. And she seems like a pretty

special girl. -I haven't met your partner.

This is Fernando my sous chef.

-Fernando Misushef? -You kill Lobster?

-Yeah, I kill a lot of

lobsters. Oh, my dad. My dad poisoned lobsters, I

still kill lobsters. -No bien. -This is most boring party I've

ever been to. -I don't know

where she is, so you have to

chill. Well, thank you all for

attending. I know you're all very excited about

tomorrow's contest. I thought I'd like to introduce

you to the other judges. We have Miss Sharon Jennings

who does some sort of writing

thing. And local fisherman and winner

of the first annual haiku for fried food contest,

Bootstraps MacMahon. Bootstraps, do you wanna come

up here and read your haiku? Thank you. "Fried food," by Bootstraps MacMahon. Darkness takes the sees John succumbs to the waters I need a fishwich

Bootstraps "Un-title," by Bootstraps MacMahon. Innocent Oysters The moon sees all your sins My stomach forgives. Bootstraps! (applause) You look like hell, Mitch. -Yes Judge.

-A good time last night, huh? -Yes Judge.

-You know, the morning of the championship is the best So much promise, the air is full of anticipation and excitement. -Can you feel it Mitch?

-Yes Judge. I don't believe you, but you've

done a good job so I'll let it

slide. In a few short hours, these

tables will be full and this stage will be flush

with competitors and we, Mitch we will crown a new Champion! Yes!! -I love you Judge.

-I love you too. Do you think I could be a Judge

one day? Maybe. Maybe not. -Hello

-Hey -We are here to register for the

Happy Hooker. -Great! I have you down, Lindsay, as a

cook and manager. Seth, as a

cook and your expeditor is Mikail

Solvaka. -Solvanka. Sol... yes. Okay, if you guys

could just sign this form here. It's just

an insurance thing in case the grease pops

on your face and melts. And I'll also need a valid

drivers license from each of

you, or in your case a green card. And we're all fit

to fry. Lindsay, I no have green card.

You know this did you read the rules?

-I don't read rules?

-Well then fix it. So, Mikail doesn't have either

of those, he just has a temporary visa.

-It's J-1.

-J-1? Um, okay. I'm sorry guys but I

think I'm going to have to deport you. Hahaha. No, I'm just joshing. Most of my amigos are illegals

anyway. I will have Seth make a bear of

you!! They have to be dead before I

make the bears. I'm Peter Galixton, on location

at the 43rd annual Golden

Scallop Championship. Now for all you newbies out

there, lets go over the rules. The best three seafood

restaurants on the Cape,

squaring off against each other for culinary domination. Now

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