The Golden Scallop Page #6

all three restaurants will be

cooking at the same time to prove who is the best. With

a turn out of around three

hundred patrons each team will be responsible

for exactly one hundred orders. Now each order has been hand

crafted by the Judge himself,

and will be released from their proverbial pandoras box

at the discretion of our

wonderful expeditors. Then, the audience fills out

evaluation forms at the end and

combined with the three juges

scores we get a champion! Have we mentioned how happy we

are to have you here at this

event? It's truly amazing. And I loved your piece on that

small place in the east village

with the best curry you've ever

had. Yeah, oh well if you're

interested in Indian, Thai,

Ecuadorian fusion, my friend is

writing a blog it's called TheNewBangChavez.com

-Indian, Thai, Ecaudorian... Sounds like my last three

maids. Haha. Hahaha. Ole! These foodies, they really get

to me. Stuffy, pretentious. For all

Boostraps faults like his prdigious love of

methamphetamine like his prdigious love of

methamphetamine, he still likes

a good laugh a hardy meal.

-Alright, Steve, cut up some

more orange slices for everyone. -Do you have any grapes?

-No, haha, Marcy you are so

funny. This is America, we eat oranges

when we go into blood thirsty

battle. -Here Corey have one.

-Hit me again. Do you see what's going on

right now? Hydration, Marcel, hydration.

You guys probably use water which is why you lose so many

Tour de Frances. In your own

country. Um, why would it bother me? My

wife feeding orange slices to a young man.

It's not like they got to Spain once a year. One

year they went to Rio another year they went to New

Orleans and another to New York

City. And I am sitting here, in front

of you, unbothered. -The Fishmonger. One of them is

very somber. Fishmonger. -Somber is happy inside, calm

and ready to compete. That's

Wyatt. I just need your third member

to sign right here and we're

all set. -Nah, it's just the two of us.

-We're orphans. Well you're also adults and you

need three people per team so... -Having two people is more of a

challenge than anything. -You're

an adult -I know

-Both adults, we're all adults.

This is great! Alright guys, you're not going

to make me look like a fool out

there. You need three people to

compete, just go back to your place and then grab a third, you won't

be able to get on stage. -No, it

is just the two of us. Since

when do you need three people to

compete? -Those were the rules,

we went over this in the

meeting. Remember? The Judge was very clear. No, no. No. The Judge never

went over anything like this in the meeting. Ooohhh. What's the worst that could

happen, Wyatt? -Do you need some water?

-No, Mitch. -Mmhhscmmhmm

-What?! -You got pretty hammered last

night. Hahaha. -Yes. -Yeah I had a pretty crazy

night. -Yeah? What'd you end up

doing? -Eat all the salsa out of your

fridge or watch like, "Season of

the? -No, no. Nothing like that. I really

can't tell you. -Lindsay, you can tell me

anything. -Yeah? -Mmhmm. Okay, you know that guy who

follows around Judge Wellington? -Rich?

-No, Mitch.

-Motch, Mitch. Yes. Yeah, we sort of um, you know. Yeeaah. -You guys hit is off? Have a

couple drinks? -No. -This.

-After party? -No, this, we did that.

-You f k him?! Yeah, oh my god, I'm such a

whore. -Am I a whore?

-Hahahaha. You're a dirty whore!! Like a

DIRTY WHORE ! ! ! -You did that? Last night?

Hahaha. -Yeah. -It's so bad.

-It is bad.

-It,s bad. Yeah, yeah. I'm so glad that I have you

here, Seth. I feel like I can

tell you anything. -Dirty whore. Hahaha.

-Oh good, it's good to say. -It's good to tell somebody.

-Yeah, it's good to call it

like it is. -Are you ready to go?

-All good, ready to fry.

-You ready to fry? -I'll meet you out there.

-Good, I feel so much better.

Thank you for listening. Heck, yeah. Makes you wonder why I even

started Obitu-bears. Yeah so it's gotten to the

point where we just have to run

up to complete strangers. And ask them to join the

Fishmonger. Team Fishmonger! But, you know, every stranger

is a potential friend, so

that's good. But right now

they're all strangers! -Right baby? Lets go!

-Everyone hates us. -Guys I really messed up and I

need you guys to cook. -We could

use the baby! -Hoover!

-We need one more competitor

for the Golden Scallop. -Suck it Martin!!

-Could one of you stand on

stage and look delicious with

us? -Oh my god, you're so scared.

-We won't harm you We're not going to do anything

but have you be our teamate, for

fr. -She's giving us weird eyes. -I love you man.

-I love you, too. (in the distance) I've been

working on the railroad... -Oh no, defnitely not.

-DOUG!!!!! -Doug!

-Jake!! -She's a great girl, huh?

-Oh, the best. Watch it. Today we become champions. Now,

Marcel, get that food out quick.

Fe. -Si. -Corey, just keep getting those

plates out and looking cute.

-You keep looking cute, Corey. Okay, now I'm going to be in

the coaches box, routing you

guys on. Lets do this as fast as possible. That means

move it, Marcy. Go! Go! Go! Go! (everyone chanting) Caped Cod,

Caped Cod. Jake, I'm pretty nervous over

here. I think I should sing my

problems out. No! I mean, that only works

once baby bro. Hey, listen. We're in it to win

it. -If we don't no one's ever going

to take this name seriously.

-Yeah, but we're too slow. -I mean we're just two men and a

hobo. -That's the spirit! Hey,

you know what? You were right about dad. He

wasn't the best man, but one

thing he always said... Wyatt, if you go down in the

basement again when I'm working

on my special project, I'll

make sure that you can never fry again. And? Quality over quickness. That's the Martin way! (feedback) Testing, one, um... Welcome to the 43rd annual

Golden Scallop Championship! applause Three months ago, you all

bought your tickets and put

your food orders in. I'm sure your stomachs have

been looking forward to it

since then. I know I have. applause I love, nearly every restaurant

on the Cape. But I have to say, these three

have taken a very special part of my heart

this year. The Caped Cod. The Fishmonger. Booooooooo

-Suck it Martin!! And the Happy Hooker. So, without further ado, let's

binge eat! applause roaring applause (Air Horn) Clam strips, two lobster rolls

and a platter. Here we go. Three more clam

rolls, two lob rolls, fries and a seafood platter.

-That is the order?

-Yes. Why else would I ask you

for it? -I don't know, why would you?

-Just cook the food, please. -Less chatting, more cooking

Marcy. -Marcy... Okay I got two more fried clam

strips with a lobster roll. -I said two strips and a lob

roll, call back Seth. -Lob roll. Alright, Mikail, how are those

drinks coming? -Keep pushing okay, it's going

to get tougher. -(mocking) It's

gonna get tougher Mikail. We're down on the floor with

Jake Martin. Co-owner and head chef of the

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