The Goodbye Girl Page #7

into your body.

I don't. I was putting them into Richard's,

trying to kill the son of a b*tch!

Please, you've got to go to bed.

This furniture isn't mine.

Do you think I'm defeated?

Do you think I'm discouraged?

Do you think I'm upset

over 14 unimportant, negative reviews?

You bet your ass I am, baby!

Sorry. This apartment is rated P.G.

I keep forgetting.

You were wonderful tonight. Really.

I was an Elizabethan fruit fly.

I was the Betty Boop of Stratford-on-Avon.

I was putrid!

Capital "P", capital "U", capital "Trid!"

I thought it was

an interesting interpretation.

Bullshit!

You didn't see their faces.

When I walked out onstage...

...210 people looking like they just got

a shot of Novocaine.

Tell me the truth. I want the truth, say it!

Say it, or I'll smash this priceless

$9.00 lamp all to pieces!

Was I putrid or was I not? Say it!

Yes, you were putrid!

You don't have to be so blunt about it.

I'm sorry.

Give that to me.

Thank you.

Though I had some good moments now and then.

Like walking on and walking off.

The rest was cacca!

Are you sure I can't get you anything?

- Some of your health vitamins?

- No, don't walk out on me, please!

Once a night is enough.

I'm here.

I'm listening.

I can play that part, you know.

I can play the hump off that guy.

I was better on the bus

coming from Chicago...

...than I was on that stage tonight.

"Now is the winter of our discontent

"Made glorious summer by this sun of York;

"And all the clouds

that lour'd upon our house

"In the deep bosom of the ocean buried"

Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera...

That is good.

It's wonderful. Honestly.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You're really not

such a bad person after all.

Thank you.

But that "putrid" remark really hurt.

That really got to me.

I know. I don't know what came over me.

You try and get some sleep now, okay?

Don't tell Lucy about the Times.

I won't.

Or the News.

Or Channel 5.

Or Channel 2, 4, 7, 9 and 11.

I won't.

- Try to get some sleep.

- Good night.

Good night.

No autographs, please.

"Now is the winter of our discontent

"Made glorious summer by this sun of York;"

"One must always respect

brave and courageous attempts...

"...to explore Shakespeare

through new and daring concepts...

"...and even, if you will, irreverence..."

What's "irreverence"?

You'll find out.

"But Garfield and Bodine's Richard III

gives us less than...

"...a summer stock Charley's Aunt, without

the good-natured and inoffensive humor."

They didn't like it?

The man has two months to live. He's a cynic.

Which one of you Scotch-taped my tongue

to the roof of my mouth?

Would you like some coffee?

Not unless it has some bicarbonate.

Congratulations!

For what?

I didn't know what else to say.

Why do you let your child read pornography?

You want some puffed rice or Cocoa Puffs?

Starve a cold, feed a failure, eh?

Hello.

Yes, just a minute. It's for you.

I get the cover of Newsweek?

Hello. Hi, Harv.

Yeah, I read 'em.

I understand.

All right, I'll see you later.

There you go.

The minute you think your world's

collapsing, something wonderful happens!

What?

They closed the show!

I don't have to do it anymore.

- The American theater is saved.

- I'm sorry.

It's all for the best.

Now I'm free to take that other job.

- What other job?

- I'm looking.

C'mon, Luc, we're late. Get your jacket.

Listen, did you know that Spencer Tracy

got terrible reviews...

...the first time he was on Broadway?

No, he didn't.

I thought he did.

You know your daughter has a crush on me?

I've noticed.

How do you feel about that, Mom?

Not to take away from your personal charm...

...she had one on Tony, too.

They're fickle at 10.

And at 6 she had one on her father.

Come on. Wait for me downstairs.

Why?

Because I'm the mother, that's why.

What are your plans?

You mean my immediate plans?

Well, after breakfast I was contemplating

an aborted suicide attempt...

...and then think about welfare.

You're not going back to Chicago?

Chicago? No. Siberia, possibly.

- Your room is paid for. It belongs to you.

- Thank you.

If I decide to leave, I'll give you an address.

You can ship it to me.

If you stay, I could use some help with Lucy.

I won't be back in time to make her dinner.

- What I'm saying is...

- I accept.

Good! She has dinner at 6:00.

There are pork chops in the freezer.

Have a nice day.

Cute.

Definitely cute.

My name is Donna Douglas.

Welcome to the International Auto Show...

...and to the Subaru display.

How many of you have wondered

how the U.S. Ski team...

...those champs of the downhill,

get to the top of those steep hills?

The Subaru engine gives you

39 miles per gallon in highway driving...

...and 29 miles per gallon in city driving,

extraordinary performance.

The SEEC-T is a lean-burn approach

to combustion engines...

...and a spectacular design then eliminates

the need for power and fuel...

Mommy!

...eliminates the need for power

and fuel-robbing things.

The Subaru gives great performance

plus better mileage...

...with less emission from your...

She's up.

The front window is clearly visible

and was designed for maximum visibility...

...whether one is looking to the right

or to the left, or straight ahead.

I'm beginning to think

my Richard wasn't that bad.

- That woman!

- She must be confused!

The rear window is also designed

for maximum visibility...

...if one is looking out the back.

- Gee, that's a problem.

- I'm going to go tell her!

The tires are optional and attractive...

...and Consumer's Guide says that

the Subaru is a remarkable economy car.

Thank you very much.

And now I'd like to introduce you

to the rest of the Subaru line...

Time out, one minute. Un momento.

Thanks. I could've gotten fired except

they don't know the English word for it.

Why are you here?

You came to see me act,

I thought I'd come see you act.

I thought you were good.

One constructive comment. Study!

Learn your lines.

Next year you'll be ready for bigger parts,

like trucks and tanks.

- Did you have your dinner?

- No.

No? But it must be after 7:00!

What am I paying you for?

Paying me?

One petrified piece of pork chop

and an aging piece of brown celery...

...doesn't constitute payment.

Come here. I came to give you the kid.

I'm workin' tonight.

- He got a job!

- Didn't I say that?

- Acting?

- No, I didn't say that.

In the entertainment field.

I'll be back 2:
00 a.m. Don't wait up!

You really look terrific. You're so cute!

I never knew you had a figure.

The man definitely wears me out!

He wears me out, too.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

That girl impressed me very much

with your car.

I'm in the taxi business

and I'm in the market for an entire fleet.

If you think you can handle it,

I'd like to come back and discuss details.

Hang on to that girl.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Erotic acts! Exotic acts!

See sexy, erotic, beautiful girls!

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