The Grand Page #3

Synopsis: An improvisational comedy using a handful of actors playing characters competing in an actual poker tournament.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Zak Penn
Production: Anchor Bay Entertainment
 
IMDB:
6.0
Metacritic:
57
Rotten Tomatoes:
40%
R
Year:
2007
104 min
Website
133 Views


for me, please?

Okay.

All right.

Good luck.

Mr. Lavisch.

Renee.

Yes. Hello.

Do you see the plans?

Do you see the blueprints?

Yeah, those are--

Are those the new--

Well, why aren't you

wearing your helmet?

This is a construction site,

really, technically.

Safety first, of course.

Thank you.

So, what's up?

Jack Faro is here

for your appointment.

Jack Faro...

Jack Faro?

Mm-hmm.

From the Rabbit's Foot.

Uh, do I know

a Jack Faro?

Yes.

Jeff!

No, Jack.

Jeff Faro.

Jack.

You sent me to

pick him up from rehab?

You scheduled a--

Not Jeff?

Jack. Definitely Jack.

I really don't

have time right now.

I mean--

Okay, I've got

five minutes.

[Renee]

Perfect, that's all we need.

Let's go talk to him.

[Steve]

We have to go there?

I haven't got time

for that.

It would take us five minutes

just go down to the car.

There's Jack.

He's just right there.

That's him.

Oh, that Jeff.

Jack.

Jack. Let's get it

over with.

Right this way.

It's Rabbit's Foot,

Jack Faro.

Right, right, right.

Dick.

Jack.

Good to see you.

Hello. How are you?

Good. Good to see you.

Good to see you.

Oh, that's Renee.

How are you?

How's everything going?

What do you think?

Oh. Yeah.

Isn't it pretty?

Isn't that something?

It's very nice.

Guess how many rooms.

[chuckles]

Don't.

Take a wild guess

how many rooms.

I knew you'd be wrong.

It's one room.

One...

One room.

One million dollars a night.

That's what

One Lavisch Plaza

is all about.

Well, now, seems like

it would be at least two rooms.

No, no, no.

See, because the air shaft

between the two towers,

you're renting that, too.

So that's all part

of your room.

The walls are just--

that's a formality.

Right.

See, my theory is that

most very wealthy men

started life

as lonely little boys,

so this would be

very nostalgic for them.

I myself despise nostalgia

because...it's so old.

One Lavisch Plaza.

[chuckles]

So what can I do for you?

Uh, so, you know,

the deal that we made,

I was wondering if maybe--

It's no problem

to pay you back,

but if I could have

a little extension...

I think you're doing

exactly the right thing.

Get out of the business now.

You don't need it.

Who needs the headaches?

Who needs the Teamsters

and the towels and-- and--

You're right.

Hi, Renee.

How are you?

Hello, Mr. Lavisch.

And I think you're a very

smart man for walking away--

No, no.

[stuttering]

You know, and I don't think

I made myself clear there.

I wasn't being, um--

[clears throat]

So I want to keep

the Rabbit's Foot.

It's what-- It's my dream

and my passion,

and I think I have to--

As I listen to you,

it occurs to me

that maybe you are

requesting something of me,

and you should know

that I--

I never answer requests

in the positive.

It's just--

It's not what I do.

I did tell him that.

I'm more of--

Hello, Renee.

Hello, Mr. Lavisch.

--of more of a negative--

How much more time do we have?

Uh, ten seconds.

Mm-hmm.

Y-You know--

And done.

Good to see you, Jack.

You're looking really well.

You lay off

those vitamins, now.

Don't forget your hat.

Bring my helmet,

will you, please?

I'm sorry. I told you.

I apologize.

Good luck.

Here you are,

Mr. Lavisch.

Careful...

around the plants!

The Faro family, yeah,

they had the monopoly

on downtown.

And somehow, when poor Jack

got a hold of it,

you see what's happened.

Would you stay

across the street?

Here you go, Brian.

Buy yourself

a couple of hookers.

Hey, Deuce Fairbanks!

Deuce!

You know what-- Oh!

What's wrong with you,

jack-off?

Hey, Deuce?

Yeah.

You're washed up!

Suck my cock!

The downfall of Las Vegas

was the day they let people

wear culottes

into the casinos.

Culottes. You never

heard of culottes?

They're not a--

They're not a short,

they're not a pant.

I don't know

what the f*** they are.

Will you take a look

at all of this crap?

Buried underneath

all of this is a history.

A history of Las Vegas.

It's the place

where Moe Dalitz

opened up his first

burlesque club,

the place where you can find

a 13-year-old in a whorehouse

if that was your pleasure.

It was a place where the Jews

and the blacks had to

enter the casinos

from rear entrances.

By the way,

on this corner right here,

I stabbed a bum.

Hey, hey,

speak with me, guys.

Hi.

Hi.

Welcome to the Golden Nugget.

Hi. Thank you very much.

Fred Marsh, checking in.

Fred Marsh.

Yeah. This is nice.

Yeah, it's great.

Right.

Um, I don't have

a Fred Marsh.

Is it under

another name, sir?

Uh...try Schwartzman,

Fred Schwartzman.

Schwartzman?

Yeah, it's Marsh.

It's Mar-- We should probably

change that, all right?

Because it's--

it's Lainie Schwartzman.

Oh, here you are,

Mr. Schwartzman.

Right here.

No, it's Marsh.

Can we change it?

Why don't we change it?

It's fine. Yeah.

I'm going to get

phone calls--

All right, and, uh...

Internet?

There's Internet?

Spa tower suite?

Yes, there is Internet.

Okay, thank you.

Because I get that thing.

All right.

Yeah, okay.

Hold on.

Where's Ellen?

Enjoy your stay here.

Thank you very much.

Where's Ellen?

Hey, you guys--

Where's Ellen?

And who-- this--

Who are you?

Holden.

Holden, where's--

Holden--

Oh, she's over there.

She's over there by the fish.

Holden, where are

your parents?

They're going gambling.

See, this kid is--

Holden's not ours.

Okay, we're going to get the--

we're going to get Ellen.

Holden, where are

your parents?

Ellen!

Honey, you come with me.

Let's find your parents.

I told you we should

get the kid leash.

You think it's cruel.

It's not cruel.

What's cruel is our kid

is on the Strip right now.

Welcome to

the Golden Nugget.

Thank you.

Name, please?

The German.

The...German?

Yes.

Oh, I have you right here.

Credit card, please.

Thank you.

Could I have some extra

hand lotion up in my room?

Uh, we'll see.

I'm sorry, sir,

but we don't allow

animals here at the hotel.

They won't be here

for long.

Most people drink coffee,

but I think it's some sort

of beverage of the cowards.

To feel alive

and to get this energy,

it is essential for me to...

to kill something each day.

It doesn't have to be

a large animal.

I squish an ant

once in a while.

Or spiders.

They come very easily.

I've shot stray dogs.

Goose is a very,

very troublesome animal.

I've had a goat.

To strangle a goat,

that makes you feel

really alive.

I've gambled

all over the world,

literally everywhere.

I remember once

in the Gobi Desert

I had to gamble for

a last gallon of water,

and that meant

two days of life.

I gambled with yak bones

against local tribesmen.

And once, I was doing

Russian roulette

with slave traders.

When I gamble,

I'm like a cello player.

It's just, uh...

just something very soft

inside of me.

Deuce is going to be here

in the tournament.

He and Lucky and me,

we were the real good friends

in the olden days.

I mean,

we were battling.

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Zak Penn

Zak Penn (born March 23, 1968) is an American screenwriter and director.[1] Penn wrote and directed Incident at Loch Ness and The Grand, and co-wrote the script for X2, X-Men: The Last Stand and the story for The Avengers. With Michael Karnow, Penn is the co-creator of the TV series Alphas on the Syfy network. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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