The Grand Page #7

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All right,

she wants chicken.

Scalloped potatoes

if you could write that down.

I'm gonna get to

the scalloped potatoes.

First, we want asparagus.

Asparagus.

Right.

[Larry]

And I-- uh, change

one of those steaks--

Oh, look at this,

another country heard from.

What do you want now, Larry?

Um, can you change

one of the steaks--

I don't care which one--

to the sake tuna,

sake-glazed tuna?

You can't have tuna.

You can have a steak.

I know what I want

to eat, okay?

No tuna.

[Larry sighs]

Three steaks,

she can have chicken,

he wants scalloped potatoes.

You got everything else?

How come--

We don't need

the scalloped potatoes.

Forget about that.

Okay?

[Seth]

Why don't you wrap

his steak up?

He'll take it with him.

No, no.

That's all right.

Wrap the steak up for him

so he'll take it with him.

All right? Okay?

It's an excellent steak.

Tell the chef.

And bring me the check.

Wow. You don't

have to do that.

I got something very exciting

to talk to you two about.

I've been meeting

with the president

of Peter Pan

Poker Network.

He wants to do a site,

a Lainie and Larry site,

where you two are going

to have your own poker site

as soon as you can get rid of

I Can't Believe It's Poker.

"ICantBelieveIGet

ToPlayPokerDotCom"

the word...

Right. Whatever.

..."triple seven"

the number, dot net.

There were some other names

I think would have been

my first choice, but um...

I got into the whole web arena

a little late, and--

Whatever, I'm ready to go.

It's not about the name.

And we all can be involved

in this together...

Well, what's the deal?

...as a family.

That sounds cool.

I got them up to

[Larry]

Well...

Plus a signing bonus.

What?

It's a great deal.

Well, I appreciate the effort

and the-- but that's not a--

that's not the best deal.

that was a good deal?

He said it was good deal.

Okay, you don't know

what the f*** you're

talking about.

If you think

that's a good deal,

you don't know

the first f***ing thing

about a website, okay?

So don't do it,

don't get involved.

This is not

for you to do.

A daughter...

does not talk to

her father...like that.

Dad.

Dad!

You...said you were

going to get the check.

I'm gonna go check

on the kids.

You know what?

Lainie, we should talk

about this, because...

Take your time.

I'll see you.

...shouldn't it be

LarryAndLainie.com?

No, that's not

even the point now.

I think it is

very much the point.

It's going to be--

It's not even going

to happen, this thing, so...

Oh.

It's Day 2 at The Grand

in Las Vegas,

and the field is narrowing

considerably.

By the end of the day,

we'll be down to our

final six players,

one of whom will win

the $10 million

first-place prize.

[Larry]

Hey, guys.

All right.

Let's play poker, boys.

[clears throat]

And lady,

let's play some poke--

Ma'am, may I speak to you?

I need to speak to you.

Could you come over here

for a minute, please?

Bobby, I'm about to--

Come on.

That's improper dress.

You're not allowed

to wear that.

On, no, no, no, no.

I know.

I converted to Muslam, uh,

last night on the-- from--

there was something on TV.

That's all right,

but that's a woman's dress,

not a man's dress.

You have to dress

like a man.

That's anti-Semitic,

and that's anti-feminist,

and that's racist.

And you are going

on report.

Fine. All right.

But guess what.

I'm playing this

under protest,

all right?

Have you seen me raise

with shitty cards? Nope.

Haven't raised with

shitty cards all night.

Don't ever say shitty,

pumpkin.

Las Vegas is a place

that has no irony.

You just win or you lose.

And you are a giant,

or you are a midget.

You are just walking

away as a dwarf.

You are cowed

if you are not--

if you don't have

the guts to win.

You are drawing more dead

than a rotten corpse

that reeks of carrion.

That makes no sense.

Better get out.

Yes!

[Jack]

You're up against a lot

of great players, but...

Well, I have a sense

of purpose about this.

Quite frankly,

I have to win.

Ooh, this is a hard one.

Wait, what happened?

Good.

Mommy's about to triple up.

Yeah, Day 2, that was

pretty smooth sailing.

I learned that my daughter's

really good at math.

[Phil]

Larry Schwartzman

still going strong.

He's knocked out some

of the best players in poker,

but now he's up against

"Sob Story" Barry Blausteen.

I'm all in.

And Blausteen's all in.

Schwartzman

is counting him down.

Looks like he's

considering a call.

Did I tell you

I couldn't have kids?

Zero sperm count.

Doesn't matter anyway.

If those kids were born,

they'd die of cancer anyway.

Everyone in my family

died of cancer.

My wife's got cancer.

Blausteen really

laying it on thick here.

She's got six months

to live.

Your-- Your wife

has six months to live?

At the most.

That's-- You went

to a bunch of doctors?

You got several opinions?

I mean, you're sure that--

It's metastasized.

It's over.

[choking up]

I loved her so much.

Did--

I don't know--

I don't know what

I'm going to do without her.

[Mike]

Wow. This is a very

effective performance.

He's taken it

to a new level,

and Larry really seems

to feel bad for him.

Well, wait a second.

Wait a second.

I just realized

I don't give a sh*t.

No, wait.

Okay, I'm all in.

Schwartzman

didn't fall for it.

All right. Whaddaya got?

He's all out

against Blausteen.

Turn 'em over.

It looks like he's going

to win this pot.

Sh*t!

Hmm, yeah.

Doesn't quite beat it, huh?

It's all right.

It's all right.

Now you got more time

to play with the kids

you're not gonna have.

Talk about a sob story,

Barry is out of this

tournament.

You dropped your,

uh, yarmulka.

I'll tell you what

I think happened, Phil.

I think he misread

the cards.

Nah, I doubt it.

Well, it's a common problem.

I talk about it

in my book, chapter 9,

"Knowing Your Cards."

What do you mean

"knowing your cards"?

Knowing your cards.

There's 52 of them.

It's not that easy

to remember all of them.

Werbe tip number 2:

know the cards,

memorize the cards,

every single one of them.

Simple, and it's easy,

especially with the Mike Werbe

patented flash cards.

[gun shots]

[poker chips rattling]

[gun shot]

[poker chips rattling]

[Phil]

We're down

to two tables now,

and Andy Andrews continuing

an improbable run.

[slurping]

Over at Table 5, Jack Faro

has had a tough day.

He's trying to hang on

to his remaining chips.

Jack's in the big blind

with two callers.

[Mike]

We've got a three-way pot.

Yes, we do, and Jack is gonna

be first to bet on this flop.

6 of diamonds, 8 of diamonds,

deuce of diamonds.

[crowd murmuring]

That's 200,000.

It's hard to say

what he's got here, Mike,

but it wouldn't surprise me

if Jack was just trying

to steal this pot.

Melvin out of the way.

The German staring him down.

He might be putting Jack

on a steal here.

200,000 is a very big bet.

And The German

does make the call.

Here comes the turn card.

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