The Grand Page #8

---

It's the deuce of spades.

Check.

Jack checks and The German

checks behind him.

And here's the river.

The river's the 9 of diamonds.

If Jack was slow playing now,

he'll definitely make a bet.

I'm all in.

[crowd gasps]

Indeed, that's

a very big bet, Mike.

[crowd clapping]

I have no idea

what's going on here.

Jack Faro's

tournament life at stake.

The way he's played

this hand,

I'm putting him

either on the nuts

or a stone-cold bluff.

I call.

Call.

And The German calls.

Let's see 'em.

Well...

Any diamond

will make a flush.

You might wet your lederhosen

on this one, Deutsch-boy.

And indeed,

a king high flush

for Jack Faro.

That's a fantastic hand,

nearly unbeatable.

Only one out for The German,

only one way to win this pot.

[Dealer]

King high flush.

The German exposes a card.

That's no good.

He's gonna need

the ace of diamonds

or Jack Faro will--

Aw! The ace of diamonds!

[crowd gasps]

[Dealer]

Winner.

Jack Faro is out

of this tournament.

He's cheating.

There's no way he had

that ace of diamonds pre-flop.

He only called.

You are a crazy person.

I think I pulled

the ace of diamonds.

This pot is mine.

I don't know

how you did it,

but you gave yourself

the ace of diamonds

when the fourth diamond

came on the river.

The last 764 times,

you've hit ace-jack pre-flop,

you raised with it.

[muttering]

That is a fact.

This time you only called.

You are a very

predictable player.

[shouting in German]

[crowd murmuring]

Security!

[continues shouting in German]

[shrieking]

Wow. What an incredible

turn of events.

Have you ever seen

anything like that, Phil?

Well, it's really rare

to see a player

accused of cheating

at the table.

It certainly doesn't

happen very often.

Well, you know

what they say.

"It ain't cheating if you

don't get caught," right?

Meanwhile, the question

on everyone's mind is this:

Who will be our sixth player

at the final table?

Will The German

be disqualified

for cheating?

And if so, what happens

to Jack Faro?

[rock]

[no audible dialogue]

[thud]

Hey.

Hey, Freddy.

Seth.

I think Lainie and I

should clear the air

here a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah, well,

it's 11:
30.

Lainie's asleep.

Yeah.

Oh, is she asleep already?

Yeah, yeah.

Let me come in

and say hello to the kids.

I haven't seen the kids

since they've been here.

Well--

[sighs]

Seth, come here.

Come here.

I just want to talk to you

for one second.

I just want to--

First of all...

I see what's happening here.

I see things.

I want to give you

some money.

I want to--

You know, I see the deal--

you're coming up

with an idea for the deal.

I understand where that's

coming from, and I just--

Don't take this as a--

You want to

give me money?

I do.

Where are you going to get

the money from, your wife?

No, this has nothing

to do with--

The money you're gonna give me

you're gonna get from her?

I'm not gonna get

any money from her.

This has nothing to do

with her and her--

So why are you going

to give me money for?

Did I ask you for money?

No, no, no.

And that's what

I'm trying to say.

Don't get offended--

I'm not a pauper.

I don't sell peanuts

in the park.

I don't need

your money, Freddy.

This is what I respect

about you.

I knew you would

react this way,

but don't react this way.

Don't react this way.

Don't pee in your own wetsuit.

That's what I gotta say to you.

Don't pee in my own wetsuit?

It's a saying--

What does that mean?

It loosely implies

right here, this saying,

but it's probably not accurate.

But forget about it.

What are you talking about?

I don't need your money.

And I don't like the way

your wife talked to me.

I don't like how you're

talking to me now.

I'm not a pauper.

I'd like to see

the kids before I leave.

Is that too much?

No, that's not too much.

To see the kids

before I leave?

I'd like to see the kids

tomorrow before I leave.

Okay. This is not an insult.

I'm not insulting you.

I'm just-- I'm just saying

don't pee in your wetsuit!

[Renee, slurring]

You know, I wouldn't mind

tasting grass now.

You know, just to see

if I like it.

Maybe make, like,

a cappuccino or something.

Or a latte.

The milk probably

doesn't foam that well.

Jack!

Jack, wake up!

Come on! I was talking.

Okay, I have

a confession to make.

Oh, my God, I feel weird.

Mm, you know Steve Lavisch?

Of course.

He, um-- He paid The German

to take you down.

Oh.

And, um, he's going

to take the Rabbit's Foot

and just blow it up.

I'm sorry.

I should have told you.

You're so sweet

to tell me this now.

Hey, do you think that

there's any possibility that--

[phone ringing]

Look at me for a second.

What?

[ring]

I want to ask you

a question.

Would you consider--

What?

...marrying me?

[ring]

Hold on.

Hello?

Yeah. Here--

I'm not here.

I'm not here.

He's not coming

to the phone.

Robert Thompson Tournament.

No, does not want

to talk to you.

Okay? You can take

your tournament--

I want to talk to him.

You can shove it in your ass

because he doesn't need--

Gimme. Hello?

...to play that stuff!

Yeah?

What?

Okay. Okay, I'll be

right there.

What? What happened?

The German,

they saw him cheating.

[laughing]

They want me back

in the tournament.

I'm back in.

I'm back in.

[zips pants]

If I could just

clear my head--

[snorts]

I don't look like

I've been partying, right?

No.

Wish me luck.

Good luck!

Wait, we're still

getting married, right?

[door opens]

[Phil]

There it is, Mike,

the dramatic footage,

straight from

the security cameras.

And you can clearly

see The German

with the ace of diamonds

up his sleeve.

That's a tough move.

I've never gotten away

with that one.

Well, indeed,

the security cameras

make it very difficult.

More importantly, Jack Faro

takes over for The German

and becomes the sixth player

seated at our final table.

And the Rabbit's Foot

lives to see another day.

Indeed, it does.

Meanwhile, The German

has lost his tour card

and is being escorted out

by casino security.

Sir, you're going to

have to leave right now.

I can't find my bunny.

Munchkin, he's a rabbit,

a white rabbit.

Have you seen

Munchkin?

No, sir.

I can't find my rabbit.

Hey, Munchkin. Munchkin!

Where is my rabbit?

Wo ist mein Hasen?

Hey, Munchkin?

Munchkin, Munchkin,

Munchkin, Munchkin.

[Man]

Excuse me, sir? Sir?

Did you lose a bunny?

Oh.

[sighs]

This your rabbit?

This is service.

Ah, you found it.

Yeah.

You found it

in the hallway.

Yeah, she was hopping

down the hall.

That's so sweet.

There she is.

Well, she's back with you.

You have a good day, sir.

Yeah. Thank you,

thank you, thank you.

Little Munchkin.

[sniffing rapidly]

It's the way

we greet each other.

Such a sweet little--

Such a sweet little rabbit.

Yeah, I'm ready to go.

Yes. It's okay now.

[sighs]

Munchkin.

Yes, I've got you.

Hey, my little one.

Maybe two rival sports teams.

The Yankees and the Red Sox,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes