The Guilt Trip Page #4

- You focus.

- I'm trying.

And while you're focusing,

I'm going to play my game.

Till they call you.

All right!

What? I'm playing slots, what?

Yeah, it's incredibly loud!

- Mr. Brewster?

- Yes, hi there!

Hi there! They're ready for you.

Oh, fantastic! Great, good.

No. What are you doing?

- Going with you?

- No.

- You can't come.

- Why not?

I can't bring my mother in!

It'll look crazy.

They don't know I'm your mother.

That's even weirder. Then who are you?

- Do you need a minute?

- No, I'm good!

Thank you. I'm okay. Great.

What are you...

- He's ready.

- Please...

Thank you! Hi! Thank you very much!

- Thank you.

- Great!

Good luck, sweetheart!

Thank you, ma'am! Nice to meet you!

Scieoclean is the only product

that harnesses

the sustainable, renewable

cleaning power

of these three products.

Now, this is a top-of-the-line

digital pH meter.

This is our competitor's product.

Okay. Well, thank you

for your time, Andrew.

That's it? I have FDA approval, and...

I just don't think it's for us.

But I want you to leave a card.

We'll be in touch.

Honey!

- How did it go?

- I don't want to jinx it,

but I think it went pretty good, actually.

- Really? Good job, sweetheart.

- Yeah.

This is gonna be good.

This is gonna be really good.

I can't wait to see what happens, right?

Look! The World's Largest

Praying Hands are in Tulsa!

The World's Largest

Rubik's Cube is in Tennessee!

The Grand Canyon!

I've always wanted to see

the Grand Canyon!

No time, Ma. Tight schedule.

Maybe next time.

Thank you.

Hey.

- Good? Did it go good?

- Yeah, it seemed to go really good.

You have a nice smile on your face.

Here, take a little water.

Andy, I think

you're going the wrong way.

We are not going the wrong way!

Well, that must feel good.

Why are you calling me, Ma?

Just go to the bathroom

and come back!

What are you doing in there?

No, I don't want French fries!

Just come back!

- Andy.

- Yeah.

Promise me you'll never

pick up a hitchhiker, okay?

I promise I will never

pick up a hitchhiker.

Good. They rape.

You think they have a Gap Outlet here?

A Gap Outlet?

I'm having Gap withdrawal!

- Oh, good. Thank you.

- Sure thing.

Look at this.

- Evening.

- Thank you.

Andy, look, they have a gift shop!

Great. You go over there.

Hi. Do you have any

rooms available for the night?

Well, of course!

A room for you and your lady?

My "lady"?

Andy, look, look!

They have clip-on frog earrings!

No! Dude, that's... Don't wink at me!

That's horrible! That's my mother!

Are you insane?

I need two rooms, okay?

Andy, don't be ridiculous.

Is that what you said? Two rooms?

It's not ridiculous. It's very necessary.

- It's a waste of money!

- Not wasting money.

- Two separate rooms.

- Sorry.

Don't be sorry!

Just don't imply that

I am sleeping with my mother.

I am ready to go to market

and I have full FDA approval!

That sounds very impressive, Andy!

FDA approval! That is fancy.

- Very fancy.

- Thank you, Ma. Good.

- I do have a few thoughts.

- Great.

It's just a little hard to follow.

I'm still a little unclear,

with all the coconuts...

What was that thing? "Dermal"?

For the skin?

Yeah. Dermal. Skin.

Yeah, I'm saying like...

I'm saying it's safe if you get it

on your skin or in your eyes

or if you ingest it by accident, you know?

Well, why don't you just say that?

I mean, keep it simple. Make it clear.

I would get personal with them, too.

Like, you talk about their kids,

talk about their pets.

Possibly seeing one of their loved ones

writhing in agony on the floor

because they just

accidentally swallowed some

of these other brands, you know?

That's good. You know

what I should do is actually

bring in a kid and poison it

in front of them.

And then they could actually just see

-what that would be like.

- Now you're being silly.

I'm just saying, if it's safe

to put on your skin,

then put it on your skin.

If it's safe to drink it...

- Yeah.

-...drink it.

Real good thinking, yeah.

You probably need to flavor it.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Cherry flavor, maybe, or root beer.

It's a cleaning product, Ma,

so root beer might be kind of a weird...

No, no! Oh, mint! Mint.

I'm just saying, if you drank it,

it would make it

certainly more entertaining.

You know? Make it more of a show.

Well, I'm a scientist, Ma,

I'm not a performer.

So, it's not really

my priority to make it a show.

I'm not a showman, Ma.

- That is nonsense, honey.

- Yeah.

Remember how good you were

in Man of La Mancha?

People like a performance.

You're right. No, you're right.

That's a great idea.

I should just do

Man of La Mancha maybe.

I... You know what?

I'll tell you what I would do.

What would you do?

I would change the name, too.

Because, look at this,

this is very confusing.

- What is it? Psychoclean?

- No.

- Skyoclean? Science Clean.

- No.

It's Scieoclean, and it's kind

of hard to change the name

because it's written on 10,000 bottles

that I've already paid for. So...

Well, it's just peculiar, is all.

Okay, I'll change the name.

Okay? Great. Okay. Good.

Andy, I'm having such a great time!

That's good, Ma.

Because I never get to go

to nice places like this.

It's true.

This place has a quarter of a star,

so that's pretty good.

Do you know that they have a free

continental breakfast here?

I'm glad you're having such

a cultured trip with me, Ma.

- I'm in absolute heaven.

- Good. Well, you know what?

I'm pretty tired.

Maybe it's time we go to sleep.

- I should let you sleep.

- Thank you.

- I am so sorry.

- No problem. Thank you.

And we don't want to

miss that breakfast, do we?

- No. Of course. Good night.

- Okay, okay.

Are you chewing

on marbles over there?

What is that sound, Ma?

What are you doing?

What am I doing?

I don't know what... It's really loud!

I'm sorry.

Is that tin foil you're playing with?

- Just my M&M's.

- Oh.

Okay, okay. You go to sleep.

See you in the morning.

You can take one of my books

into the bathroom

if you have to make.

Okay-

It's getting really dark, isn't it?

God, I hope it doesn't snow.

Honey, we're in Tennessee.

It doesn't snow in Tennessee.

You see? This is this

climate change thing!

It's good I brought clothes

for all kinds of weather.

- What are you doing?

- I'm getting my coat out!

You're not being helpful!

You're distracting me! Just sit down!

Where's your coat?

This is not very helpful right now.

I can't believe I let you

talk me out of getting an SUV.

I can't believe this.

Andy, just drive slow, okay?

Don't worry about

what the truckers think.

I'm not worried about

what the truckers think!

Why would I be worried about...

Don't scream!

Let's just get off this road!

Maybe we should call Jessica!

- You've got to be kidding me!

- Okay, we won't call her!

No, we got a flat tire!

Oh, this is a nightmare!

I'm pulling over.

Good. Pull over!

- Oh, we're going to die, Ma!

-No, we're not.

- Where's your coat?

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