The Hangover Page #4

Stu looks highly confused as he follows them out onto THE CASINO FLOOR

The guys power through the crowded casino, towards the exit. Stu tries to keep up, genuinely concerned.

STU:

How am I going to tell my wife?

VICK:

Quickly, and from a great distance.

Alan’s hand accidentally hits a brass railing and CLINKS...

STU:

Jesus, what kind of father am I?

Alan’s hand CLINKS against the railing again, and this time it registers. Alan looks down -- and stops cold.

ALAN Oh my God.

STU (really scared)

You think Erin will try to take the kids--?

ALAN Oh...my...God.

VICK (turning, annoyed)

What now?

Alan holds up the source of his CLINKING: on his ring finger is a huge, tacky, silver WEDDING RING with a unicorn on it.

STU:

(not getting it)

Cool ring. Also, my Dad is gonna have a field day with this.

Vick, however, recognizes the implications of the ring, and starts back towards Alan.

VICK:

Oh my God... Oh my God...

STU What’s the big--?

(finally realizing) Oh! OH! OH!

27.

28. Alan steadies himself against a SLOT MACHINE, and shakily

takes off the massive unicorn ring.

STU (CONT'D)

Maybe it’s not a wedding ring?

ALAN:

(reading inscription)

“To My Noble Husband, Alan.” The guys eyes bulge, oh sh*t!

STU:

This is worse than my underwear!

Vick takes the ring and reads the rest of the inscription:

VICK:

“Now & Forever Wedding Chapel.”

They guys exchange a look.

VICK (CONT'D) Well, at least it’s a lead.

Beat. Then Alan turns and THROWS UP all over the slot machine. Nearby OCTOGENARIAN SLOT PLAYERS look over, disgusted -- but continue playing their nickels.

CUT TO:

EXT. MANDALAY BAY -- VALET STAND -- DAY

The three guys exit the hotel looking like crap. Vick hands his ticket to the valet. Alan chews mint gum.

VICK:

So, we go to the wedding chapel, we

find out what we did with Doug, we recover him, and we’re back in LA before sundown. Easy as Stu’s ass.

No one laughs. Tense SILENCE as they wait for the car.

STU:

Check it out, some idiot threw his

bed out the window last night.

Stu points over at a huge stone GRIFFIN in front of the hotel with an ENTIRE BED impaled upon its ear.

ALAN That was us, dude.

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