The Happiest Millionaire Page #2

But I like caramel.

So does Tony.

Don't you, sport?

Oh, love 'em.

Okay, fellas, that's enough.

Charlie! You've been hiding

your light under a bushel.

Liv, you should feel that.

Hey! What weight do you

fight at, Charlie?

- Fight?

- Boxing.

You do box, don't you?

I prefer other sports.

You don't do it at all?

No.

Liv, he doesn't do it at all.

Aw, Charlie.

You're in trouble.

I don't understand.

Well, if you've got

your eye on Cordy...

? Remember Harry Applegate??

? Yeah, he took

Cordy on a date?

? Oh, what a dapper Dan?

? Pearly teeth and tennis tan?

Remember him well.

? Thought he was a Romeo?

? Tried to kiss our sis,

and, oh!?

? Harry ducked, but too late?

? Father bought him

an upper plate?

? Watch your footwork?

? Better learn

to bob and weave?

? Sister Cordy's

got dynamite up her sleeve?

? What a jab?

? Dynamite up her sleeve?

? What a hook?

? Dynamite up her sleeve?

? Keep your guard up?

Charlie, never lead it

with your right.

You'll get killed that way.

Look, fellas,

let's forget the whole thing.

I didn't come here to do this.

? Archie Baxter

came here twice?

? First time out,

he acted nice?

? Romance was in the air?

? Oh, they made a lovely pair?

Beautiful.

? Second date, it was a dance?

? He grabbed her tight,

this was his chance?

? Cordy only bruised

that sport?

? Father settled it

out of court?

So...

? Watch your footwork?

? Better learn

to bob and weave?

? Sister Cordy's

got dynamite up her sleeve?

? What a fake?

? Dynamite up her sleeve?

? What an uppercut?

? Dynamite up her sleeve?

Uh-oh.

- Charlie.

- Charlie?

- Hey, Charlie, wake up.

- Are you hurt?

Tony? Livingston?

Come on, it's time

for Bible class.

What happened?

He dropped his left.

Oh.

You better get some ice.

And get some beefsteak.

Charlie?

Charlie!

Well, don't you look pretty!

Papa, how could you?

How could I what?

It's no wonder

I never have any callers.

- Oh, now, wait a minute.

- People are afraid to come here.

I didn't hurt the young sap.

Sap?

Charlie Taylor's only

the most popular boy in town.

Oh, here he comes.

Charlie, are you all right?

Sure, he's all right.

Come on, Charlie.

- Thataboy.

- I'm so sorry, Charlie.

There's no serious damage.

He'll have a black eye

for a couple of days.

- Ooh!

- Can I get you something?

I sent for some raw meat.

How about a cold drink, Charlie?

Oh!

Oh, thank you.

Charlie, why don't you sit

in this comfortable chair?

And I'll see if

I can get you some iced tea.

Or would you like

a piece of chocolate cake?

Charlie!

Gee, we're sorry.

We didn't mean to do it.

We told him

to keep his guard up.

You see, Cordy, I had

nothing to do with it.

Didn't you?

Like father, like son.

You're all three the same.

Always having your sport

no matter what.

Always ready for a fight.

Oh, Cordy, we didn't...

Don't touch me.

I'll flatten you!

Cordy.

Cordy, wait.

Blast it!

? Oh,

Miss Cordelia Drexel Biddle?

? I thought I knew you well?

? But now,

Miss Cordelia Drexel Biddle?

? I just can't tell?

? Are you valentine candy

or bo xing gloves??

? Lately you seem

very strange?

? What in the world's

coming over you??

? Everything's starting

to change?

? Are you sonnets by Shelley

or Rover Boys??

? Once any answer would do?

? Why are you

suddenly wondering?

? Which kind of someone

are you??

? Is a boy meant to spar with

or gaze at a star with??

? Should you kiss him

or blacken his eye??

? Now, if he buys you roses?

? A right to the nose is really

not quite the proper reply?

? You're so lost

in the middle of in-between?

? Is your destiny canvas

or crepe de Chine??

? Will you someday be someone

that somebody loves??

? Are you valentine candy

or...?

? Bo xing gloves??

Mrs. Worth,

I'm not a one to pry,

but I can't help wondering

some things.

Yes, Mr. Lawless?

? Board by board?

Is it forever like this?

Like what?

Ha, that must be

Dr. Donleavy at last.

? Body and mind of mortal man?

It isn't as if this was

the only job in Philadelphia.

Well, not for

a likable lad like meself.

? Fashion the framework

board by board?

Mrs. Worth?

I've decided

to run along for now.

Perhaps I can call another day.

Perhaps.

Who are you?

John Lawless.

A professional pugilist,

no doubt.

Ma'am?

Did you come here to fight?

Oh, no, ma'am, I came

about the butler's position.

Then announce me.

And take off your hat

in the house.

? Strengthen the dwelling

of the Lord?

? Fashion the framework

board by board?

? Here in his image

now we stand?

? Building his fortress

strong and grand?

? It is written that the?

? Body and mind of mortal man?

? Should walk in the spirit

of his master plan?

Mr. Biddle?

There's a lady

in the music room.

A lady?

She didn't give a name.

Like there was no need.

Aunt Mary.

Tell her there's nobody at home.

But, sir...

? It is written that the?

? Body and mind of mortal man?

? Should walk in the spirit

of his master plan?

? So we must strengthen

the dwelling of the Lord?

I'm afraid

there's no one here, ma'am.

No one here?

No one at all save

Mrs. Worth and meself.

And as for me, I...

? It is written that the body

and mind of mortal man?

? Should walk in the spirit

of his master plan?

Aunt Mary!

What a nice surprise.

Is it?

I come about

the butler's position.

Oh, good!

Then take these, would you?

And tell Mr. Biddle

that Aunt Mary is here.

And bring us some tea

into the parlor, please.

If the stores get

any more crowded,

I'm just going to have

to give up shopping entirely.

You can't imagine

the swarms of people.

Do sit down, Aunt Mary.

This is not a social call.

I've come for a specific reason.

In today's paper,

in George Gray's gossip column,

it is reported...

that "last week,

Cordelia Drexel Biddle

entered a one-step contest

in Atlantic City

with a Heinie Fenstermaker,"

whoever that is.

I don't recognize the name.

"And won."

We, uh...

We were in Atlantic City

for the Bible-class convention.

I know why

you were in Atlantic City,

but that does not explain

and certainly doesn't excuse

the matter at hand.

Well, good afternoon, Aunt Mary.

Always a pleasure to see you.

Cordelia.

Anthony.

Oh, Anthony, your finger.

Yes.

George bit me.

George?

I can't imagine

what got into him.

Quite obviously

your finger got into him.

Anyone who keeps

an alligator in the house

must expect to be bit

and deserves it.

Well, I'm sure George was only

playing and forgot himself.

Do you really think so?

Oh, I'm sure of it.

Over there, please.

He probably feels

as badly about it as you do.

I wonder.

That will be all, thank you.

You're right, Cordelia.

He wants to make up.

- Well...

- Ha.

If the jungle theatrics

are quite over,

I should like to return to

the subject of my visit,

which is Cordy.

What about Cordy?

I do not consider she's

under the right influences

for a young woman

in her social position.

She's under my influence and

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