The Happiest Millionaire Page #3

her mother's and her brothers'.

Oh, please, Anthony,

don't pretend naivet.

You know perfectly well

what I mean.

No, I don't.

I do not know what you mean.

Did you read

this morning's paper?

Yes.

Yes, I did.

German U-boats in our waters

sinking British merchant ships

in sight of Nantucket.

That's what they think

of our neutrality.

Did you get

beyond the first page?

George Gray's column, dear.

Cream or lemon, Aunt Mary?

Of course not.

Blasted professional

troublemaker.

Oh, no, he doesn't make trouble.

He reports it.

This Mr. Fenstermaker.

He's a member of one

of your Bible classes, I assume?

Yes.

Yes, he is.

And a fine, upstanding

young man he is, too.

Anthony, tell me something.

Were the children in school

at all last year?

They were being tutored,

Aunt Mary.

And who's tutoring the tutor?

What do you mean?

Well, everybody knows

that you hired this man

as a boxing coach.

Can't even sign his own name.

Tony and Liv got

into St. Paul's all right.

They're going next week.

And I applaud the move.

Now let's do the same for Cordy.

The Laleta Wingfield School

for Young Ladies

in Lakewood, New Jersey,

is accepting applications.

Oh, no, you don't.

I won't have Cordy

exiled to some prison.

Anthony, answer me.

What proper young man

in his right mind

would want to marry

a lady prizefighter?

Blast the proper young man.

That's easy to say.

Besides, what's this

talk about marriage?

Cordy's a child.

You're blind, Anthony,

in more ways than one.

- Blind or not, I'm not...

- Papa.

Oh, Cordy.

- We were just discussing you.

- Yes, I know.

And, Papa, I'd like

to go off to school.

Hello, Aunt Mary.

Good afternoon, Cordelia.

Hello, Mama.

Darling.

Cordy.

Did I hear you correctly?

I'm sure you did, Papa.

Are you still upset

about what happened a while ago?

Do you want that boy

back over here?

I'll drag him back.

No, Papa.

It isn't Charlie Taylor.

Well, then, what is it?

Don't you like it here?

Of course I like it here.

Don't we have a good time?

Yes.

But it's hard to explain, Papa.

I'm not like the other girls.

Well, hooray for that.

Look at the other girls.

Oh, Papa.

Cordy,

I like you the way you are.

You're pretty.

You have fun.

You're alive.

You've got a better

left hook than Tony or Liv.

But I don't want a left hook.

Anthony, I think we'd better

talk about this later.

She doesn't know

what she's saying.

I do know what I'm saying.

I want to go to

Miss Wingfield's school.

All right.

All right.

You go.

Go to prison if you want to.

Thank you, Papa.

Blast!

Ooh!

Well, it's late.

And I've other things to do.

Well, thank you

for coming, Aunt Mary.

I don't like to interfere.

But attention must be paid

to these matters.

I know.

Good day, Cordelia.

Good day, Anthony.

Anthony.

We do have to let Cordy go.

She's not a child anymore.

And it's selfish to keep her

here in this special world.

What's wrong

with this special world?

Oh, Anthony, why do you have to

take everything so personally?

Is there some other way?

You might as well put out

that terrible weed.

You won't get rid

of me that way.

Anthony.

I raised very few objections

to the way that Cordy's

been brought up,

despite its being

rather unorthodox.

Don't say, "What's wrong

with being unorthodox?"

There's nothing wrong with it.

If I didn't feel that way,

I couldn't have stayed married

to you all these years.

It's been a good life.

A healthy life.

And Cordy's been happy.

But now she's older

and feels a need to reach out.

But she won't like it.

That's for her to decide.

You didn't want to let go

of Tony and Liv.

You fought St. Paul's

like a tiger.

Well, now it's Cordy.

Blast it, Cordelia.

I said she could go, didn't I?

Yes, dear.

Well, then...

what's all the fuss about?

I'm going out to the gym.

Good idea.

You'll feel much better

when you get back.

Oh.

Mrs. Biddle.

Mrs. Biddle,

if it's convenient...

Oh, yes. I'm afraid

I don't remember your name.

John Lawless, ma'am.

The Mayflower Employment Agency.

Ah, fine.

Dinner's at 7:
00, John.

Well?

Were you put on?

"Dinner's at 7:
00," she says.

Heaven help me.

Good way to let off steam.

Papa, I'm sorry

for the way I acted.

I appreciate your apology.

I do love my home.

I don't really want to go away.

Well, you were right

wanting to go.

You're not a child any longer.

It's selfish to try to keep you

here in this special world.

What's wrong

with this special world?

Now, don't you start that.

Cordy.

You have to make your own life

in your own way.

You can't stay here

with your mother and me forever.

Of course, when you

come home on vacations,

things will be just the same.

All of a sudden, I'm afraid.

Now, that I won't have.

There's nothing out there

to be afraid of,

as long as you keep your

guard up and your chin tucked,

and know how to bring one up

from the floor.

Oh, Papa.

When I was a little girl,

I used to think you must be

the most wonderful person

in the whole world.

Now that I'm older

and much wiser, I know you are.

Well, come on,

let's go back in the house.

If you don't like that school,

you don't have to stay up there.

? Dee-a da da da?

? Dee-a ta ta ta-ta ta?

? Da-da ta-ta tee?

Mr. Biddle?

Mr. Bid...

What's wrong?

You're white as a sheet.

Faith, you do have an alligator!

12 of them.

What's wrong with that?

Not a thing.

It's relieved, I am.

I captured them myself

down in Florida.

Went into the swamp

with a party of Seminoles.

Have you ever seen a Seminole

Indian capture alligators?

I can't say I have.

Well, they can paddle a canoe so

you can't hear it two feet away.

If the animals

don't show themselves,

you give them the mating call.

Say, who are you, anyway?

John Lawless, sir.

I'll be the new butler.

Oh, we've got a new butler.

No, Papa.

He quit.

Already?

- Days ago.

- Oh.

Well, if you'll excuse me, sir.

John Lawless, is it?

That's right, sir.

Tell me, John.

Are you a religious man?

I try to live by the Good Book.

How well do you succeed?

- I'm not sure.

- Never mind.

We'll go into that another time.

What do you think of boxing?

- Boxing?

- Why don't we find Mother...

Not in self-defense.

Ever done any of that?

Well, at the fair last year

in County Tyrone,

I was fisticuffs champion.

Is that so?

Champion?

Well, it isn't

a very large county, sir.

Fisticuffs champion

of where was that again?

County Tyrone.

It's in Ireland.

Ah. You going to become

an American citizen, John?

- Well, I intend to apply, sir.

- You'll never regret it.

- Greatest country in the world.

- Papa!

There's certain things

I believe in, John.

God and the United States

are at the top of the list.

I know very well what

the United States has to offer.

That's how it is I'm here.

Yes, well, like I say...

There's something else

I know just as well.

And that is you are what you

are, and that's good, too.

I beg your pardon?

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