The Happiest Millionaire Page #4

Well, being an American

is addin' something.

It isn't subtracting.

On the night

before I sailed away,

they come from far and near.

? All me friends

and all me kin?

? To shed a partin' tear?

? We knew we'd

never meet again?

? And yet was clear to see?

? I'd always be

a part of them?

? And them a part of me?

? I'll always be Irish?

? 'Cause that's how I began?

? I'll always be Irish,

I'll say that to any man?

? And when I'm an American,

I'll be a good one, too?

? I'll be truly as American

as Irish stew?

Hey, that's pretty good.

? He'll be truly as American

as Irish stew?

Ask for Irish stew in Ireland

and see what you get.

I never thought of that.

In Ireland,

all the stew is Irish.

? I'll always be Irish?

? A fact I'll not deny?

? I'll always be Irish,

and I'll hold me head up high?

? I'll wear the green

St. Patty's Day?

? And yet for all of that?

? I'll be truly as American

as "Casey at the Bat"?

? He'll be truly as American

as "Casey at the Bat"?

Say, that looks like

good exercise.

Come on, Cordy.

- Hey!

- Papa!

If you can win

a one-step contest,

you ought to be able to do this.

I thought you

didn't like dancing.

It's that waltzing business

I don't like.

Ha.

That's for old folks.

Hey!

Huh! Ha!

? If I went to Paris

for the rest of me days?

? And ate bread and cheese

in sidewalk cafs?

? Lived in a garret,

wore a beret?

-? What would I be??

- An Irishman!

? If I went to Tibet

and bought me a yak?

? And traveled Siberia

ridin' his back?

? The peasants would point

at me, what would they say??

Irishman?

- Right!

- Right!

? But if I went to Spain

and grew a moustache?

? Strummed the guitar

and wore me a sash?

? Became a toreador

and fought me a bull?

- ndele!

- Ndele!

- Hooray!

- Yippee!

After they awarded me

both ears and the tail,

what would they say?

- Ol!

- Ol!

- For the Irishman!

- Right!

Hey-ho!

Whoo-aaa-hoo!

Come on, Mrs. Worth.

Come on, now.

Whoo! Ha!

It's good for you.

Ha ha!

Ah, thatagirl!

You should have seen

me father doin' this.

Like a tornado across the floor.

Hey!

Oh!

Ohhhh!

Ohh! Oh!

? He'll always be Irish?

Ah, shout it good and loud!

? He'll always be Irish?

? Of his heritage, he's proud?

? I'm proud of Irish blarney?

? And Irish sentiment?

? And I'll bet someday

we get an Irish president?

? And I'll bet someday

we get an Irish president?

Whee-ha!

Hey, let me in there.

Hey-ya diddle!

Hey-ya!

Ha!

Beautiful!

Whee!

Whee! Hoo!

- Ha!

- Whoo!

Hey!

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo!

Oh, the Mayflower

Employment Agency.

Oh, yes.

Yes, of course.

Hey!

Yes.

I think Mr. Lawless

will suit our needs very well.

Hee!

Come on,

I want George to see this.

Whoo!

Whoo! Whoo!

Cordelia, whatever

are you laughing at?

Papa.

He's now giving military

training to the Bible classes.

They're marching up and down

in front of the house.

Broomsticks for rifles.

Cordelia, what an absolutely

gorgeous invitation!

Whoever is it from?

Well, read it for yourself

if you're so anxious.

I'm not the least bit anxious.

I was only trying

to be sociable.

Cordelia!

The William Thaws are absolutely

world-famous for their parties.

However did you

get this invitation?

Well, I'm in great demand

socially.

Didn't you know?

I suppose you give

boxing exhibitions.

However did you guess?

And I think I'll get in

some practice.

Right now!

I'll call Miss Wingfield!

With that rouge

all over your face?

Cordy.

You wouldn't tell Miss Wingfield

that I wear rouge

to bed, will you?

No matter how angry you get?

Well...

Oh, no, you wouldn't be

so cruel.

Rosemary?

Hmm?

Would you teach me how to flirt?

Pardon?

Well, my Aunt Gladys said

there were gonna be

all sorts of young men

at the dance

from Yale and Princeton.

Your Aunt Gladys.

So that's how you got invited.

The William Thaws

are my aunt and uncle.

Since I'm going to school

here in Lakewood,

they're practically duty-bound.

I should have guessed.

Well, it helps to be related

to almost everybody.

I want to make the most of it.

Will you help me, Rosemary?

Cordelia, if you're suggesting

that I know anything about...

Oh, come on, Rosemary.

I'll bet you're

the world's champion.

Well, the fact that

I have been admired by men

doesn't make me a flirt.

Rosemary.

Hmm?

Would you like me to swear

that I'll never tell

Miss Wingfield about the rouge?

That's blackmail.

It's a trade.

Well?

I wonder if those Thaw parties

are as absolutely

spectacular as people say.

That's how trading works,

isn't it?

All right.

I'll ask my Aunt Gladys.

Oh, good!

Come here.

Now, if a girl wants

to be popular nowadays,

there's one thing that she

absolutely needs to know.

What?

Bye-yum pum pum.

Bye-yum pum pum?

? Bye-yum pum pum?

? Bye-yum pum pum?

? Bye-yum pum pum, bye-yum?

? You must be?

? Oh, so misterioso?

? Enthusiasm is trs pass?

? You must slink

across the floor?

? As if it's a dreadful bore?

? To the rhythm

of bye-yum pum pum?

? Bye-yum pum pum?

? Bye-yum pum pum, bye-yum?

? Nita Naldi, Theda Bara?

? Hollow cheeks

and black mascara?

? Bye-yum pum pum, bye-yum?

Okay, what's next?

? The men in college?

? Always acknowledge?

? A girl who dances

in a trance?

? So bye-yum until the dawn

as if you're about to yawn?

? To the rhythm of?

? Bye-yum pum pum?

? Bye-yum pum pum?

Attitude, Cordy!

? Bye-yum pum pum, bye-yum?

? Today the key

to being wanted?

? Is just to glide

as if you're hunted?

? And your right foot,

left foot, right, back?

Let me try, let me try!

Right foot, left foot,

right, back together.

Now arms, Cordy, arms.

Use your arms, back together.

And slink, two, three.

Bye-yum and slink, two, three.

Bye-yum and slink, two.

Now spin like a top.

That's it!

Cordy, you're absolutely wicked.

I love it.

How exotic.

Bravo.

Nita Naldi!

Theda Bara!

Cordy,

you're absolutely dangerous.

And scandalous!

? For when you're

oh, so misterioso?

? The men will grow

so entranced with you?

Shocking!

? As you secretly conceal

the tingly way you feel?

? When you're dancing to?

? Bye-yum pum pum?

? Bye-yum pum pum?

? Bye-yum pum pum, bye-yum?

Cordelia!

Oh!

Aunt Gladys.

Cordelia, darling.

Aunt Gladys.

I've been looking

all over for you.

Where have you been?

I want you to meet the two most

charming young men at the party.

My niece,

Cordelia Drexel Biddle.

Mr. Roger Fitzsimmons

and Mr. Walter Blakely.

Both just down from New Haven.

- How do you do?

- A pleasure.

Well, I'll leave you three

to get acquainted.

Young people today

don't need anything more

than an introduction.

Snappy party.

What?

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Very snappy.

Have a gasper?

A what?

Oh.

No, thank you.

I didn't think

you were the type.

These days, you can't tell.

Smoking shortens your wind.

Well, that's why athletes

never smoke.

Say, there's a friend

of my family

I ought to go over and speak to.

Can't it wait

until later, Roger?

I wouldn't want to miss her.

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