The Heat Page #4

Synopsis: Sarah Ashburn, an FBI agent, is extremely ambitious and has her eye on a promotion, but she doesn't get along with her co-workers. She is sent to Boston to uncover the identity of an elusive drug lord, Mr. Larkin, by tracking down his proxy, Rojas, and is told that she'll have a good shot at the promotion if she finds Larkin. When she arrives in Boston, she learns that Larkin has been eliminating his competition and taking over their operations. She learns that Rojas is in Boston PD custody and goes to see him to ask him what he knows about Larkin, but is warned that the cop who arrested Rojas, Shannon Mullins, is very territorial, and she is not exactly sociable. When the two meet they don't get along. When Mullins learns why Ashburn is in Boston, she decides to find Larkin herself. Ashburn is told by her boss to work with Mullins, but it won't be easy because Ashburn does things by the book while Mullins does things her way.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Paul Feig
Production: 20th Century Fox
  7 wins & 16 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.6
Metacritic:
60
Rotten Tomatoes:
65%
R
Year:
2013
117 min
$158,300,000
Website
8,000 Views


Well, sir, no need to take someone's badge.

I think I can, uh...

I think I can work

something out, sir.

All right. Thank you.

You know, uh...

I just...

I think you and I got off

on the wrong foot.

Oh!

I don't know Boston,

and you obviously have...

...a lot of resources and a lot of

knowledge about the area that could be,

you know, useful.

Probably very.

So, uh...

...maybe we can work

together on this.

I don't need your help

to take down Larkin.

You wouldn't even have known

about Larkin if not for me.

So obviously the FBI can

get information you can't.

And there's a lot more

where that comes from. A lot!

Maybe I just need to hear a little

"I need your help, Mullins."

I won't be doing that.

Okay, then get your

ass back in your car.

This is ridiculous.

I'm an FBI agent.

You're a police officer.

"I need your help, Mullins."

I need your help, Mullins.

What is this, a whisper party? I

want that third floor to hear it.

"I need your help, Mullins." Then

give me a little echo on "Mullins".

I need your help, Mullins,

Mullins, Mullins...

Just move. Move, move!

God! Even in that,

you're annoying.

I will work with you...

...as long as we're clear

that this is my case.

That's actually

not... correct.

Awesome.

Glad you see it my way.

Careful of the car.

Goddamn it.

Stand down.

I got it.

If you just let go...

I got it.

I have it,

just let me...

I've got it.

I got it.

Oh, sh*t!

Ma'am, you, uh...

Just go. Just go.

Let me take the lead on this.

I'm a trained interviewer.

"Interviewer?" What are

you, Barbara Walters?

I thought we'd go in there and

bring in some heat on her.

I'm sorry, what does

that even mean?

Me and you, we're the heat.

We go in there, interrogate her,

scare the sh*t out of her...

We don't say "interrogation".

It's too aggressive.

Rule number one, catch more

with sugar than with a stick.

That's a horrible

f***ing saying.

We like to create a genuine

personal interest in the subject,

allowing them to open up.

Then I'll perform instant

personality assessments

based on

the Myers-Briggs theory...

...Thematic

Apperception Tests and...

...a few others I

won't bore you with.

Well, lam balls deep

in boredom.

All right, as long as

you don't do that

whole long explanation again...

...we'll try it

your way first.

Only because you're older.

Oh, my God.

Tatiana Krumova, lam Special

Agent Sarah Ashburn...

...and this is Detective Mullins.

Detective Mullins.

And we'd like to ask you a few questions

if you could give us a moment.

Oh, shoot. You know, now is bad.

I'm making butter.

How about other time?

If you could just give... How

about right f***ing now?

Right f***ing now!

Well, Tatiana, thank you.

This is very kind of you.

So...

How long have you lived here?

I've lived here

since I moved in.

Okay, that's

very... very helpful.

Okay, we'll get

a little more specific.

What do you do for a living?

I know what this a**hole

does for a living.

What you know, a**hole?

Sugar, no stick.

It is Bulgarian, is it not?

No, I'm f***ing French!

Oh, Jesus.

Tatiana...

I don't understand

what you are saying.

Nice bullshit Bulgarian.

That was perfect Bulgarian.

I mean I don't understand

what you are talking about!

Why I go to jail

when I don't do shits?

Ah! So she did understand what I

was saying, just not the context.

Oh, sweet God.

All right, Rosetta Stone,

you're done.

Ugh! Oh, Jesus.

How many porns have been

made on this couch?

Oh, this couch not of your satisfaction?

You're not comfy?

I'll get comfy. When

my foot's up your ass.

Wow.

That'll make me really comfy.

Don't poke me!

Tatiana, I want to

get really real.

You ready to get real?

Let's get real.

Okay, we both know you've been

blowing sh*t up your nose all day.

Man, I get it. There's nothing

more I'd love to do than...

...slip into my camisole, put my

feet up, have a little smack.

Real good time,

maybe a couple cold ones,

a little chip and dip,

watch some cartoons.

I'd get a big bowl of coke...

I'd put my face in it, cut

it with a little Ritalin...

Heaven on f***ing earth, right?

Sure.

I'd camp out all week

for tickets to that show.

What is this, Training Day?

All f***ing week

I'd camp out for that!

But you, you piece of sh*t, you've

been rolling deep for a long time.

And now it's time you open

up that goddamn mouth

and tell us what

we want to know.

You got good point. I tell you what.

I open my mouth.

You get the f***

out my house now!

How's that for open mouth?

F*** out! Get f*** out!

Yeah, I'll get the f*** out.

All right.

You should really stop smoking

because it's an awfully bad habit.

You're leaving half your

lipstick in the ashtray.

I had a great aunt that lost

most of her teeth to smoking.

Good to know.

A lot of fistfights,

too, but mostly smoking.

We're gonna get

out of your hair.

That is not front door.

Puty our hands

where I can see 'em!

Don't f***ing move.

Is this your drug mule?

Oh, my gosh!

That's my mother!

Do you have balloons

of horse up your ass?

You break my f***ing door!

Stand down, Officer.

Who closes the door

to take a sh*t?

Humans do.

Don't touch underpants!

Get out, bull in china shop!

Out of my house!

What the f***'s wrong with you?

Wow, you are just

all stick and no sugar.

Did you get

the cigarette or not?

Uh, yeah... of course I did.

Yeah.

I snagged these matches, too. I think

our guy likes to go to Club Ekko.

Really?

Yes, really.

Let's find out, shall we?

Hang on. The couch was disgusting.

I need to wash my hands.

Wait a minute,

you do live here?

That's what I said.

Oh.

Wow, your windows

are all boarded up.

Yeah, I've got the glass,

I just don't have the...

you know, window blankets.

The curtains?

You mean the curtains?

Whatever. Okay?

That's just my family.

Oh.

Yeah, it's sweet.

You want something to eat?

I didn't finish my submarine

sandwich the other day.

No, thank you.

Sorry I don't have poached

eggs in rubies for you.

No, I don't mean

to be rude, but...

...one could catch a MRSA

infection in here, that's all.

What part of that wasn't rude?

Just for your own well-being.

For example, that door.

That door has no

way of locking.

Someone could barge in at any moment.

It's not safe.

No one's coming in here...

...because they know

I keep this fully stocked.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I know.

A Marlin 1894CB?

Is that an FN PS90?

Yeah! Nice one.

You have all of this

in your house?

You didn't even

mention my baby.

Look at this.

Oh!

My little pride and joy.

This little beauty could

vaporize an above-ground pool.

If you didn't want

the pool anymore.

No kidding.

Pretty, huh?

Yeah. How do you refuse

that sales pitch, huh?

You don't.

Unless you're an a**hole.

I haven't seen one of these

since World War ll.

No! God,

that... occasionally ticks.

Put it back slowly.

Slowly!

Like half that speed.

Half that speed!

Stop shaking.

Put your pinky down.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes

Katie Dippold

Katie Dippold is a screenwriter, actress, and comedian. She was a writer on the NBC series Parks and Recreation and wrote The Heat starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. The Heat won the 2014 American Comedy Award for best screenplay and favorite comedy of the year at the People's Choice Awards. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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