The History of Mr. Polly Page #3

Might get 'em together.

Why... how d'you mean?

Shop and cat thrown in.

Mean to say...

Little dog.

Eating my bicycle tyre.

Thought my bicycle was on fire.

It... it's all right, really.

Little dog. Er... outside.

- Miriam ready?

- (Mrs Larkins) What for?

To go and meet Annie.

You're a rum 'un.

Miriam!

There isn't a little dog

anywhere, Elfrid.

I had... had a very curious sensation.

Felt exactly as if

something was up somewhere.

All right now.

You were sayin' something about a cat.

Give you one, day my shop's opened.

(Children shout and laugh outside)

(Slam)

(Children shouting)

Do you really mean to open a shop?

Well, there are drawbacks, of course,

but one is one's own master.

- That wasn't all talk?

- No, not a bit of it.

After all, a little shop

needn't be so bad.

- It's a 'ome.

- It's a home.

Let's sit down in this seat

where we can see those blue flowers.

One did ought to be happy in a shop.

(Girl) Oh!

Mercy, mercy! Please, Camilla!

You idiot! You giggling little idiot!

A shop's such a respectable thing to be.

I could be happy in a shop,

if I had the right company.

I'm not such a bloomin' geezer

as not to be able to sell goods a bit.

- I shall do all right.

- If you get the right company.

I shall get that all right.

You don't mean you've got someone?

I have got someone

in my eye this minute.

Oh, Elfrid.

You don't mean...

- I do.

- Not really.

You and me, Miriam, in a little shop

with a cat and a canary.

Just suppose it.

You... you mean you're in love with me?

Yes.

Oh. Elfrid.

(Sighs) I didn't dream you cared.

Sometimes I thought it was Annie

and sometimes Minnie.

I always liked you better than them.

I've loved you, Elfrid, ever since

we met at your poor father's funeral.

- I just can't believe it.

- Nor I.

You do mean to marry me

and open that little shop?

Yes. Oh, yes. I've heard of

a little place over at Fishbourne.

I hadn't quite made up my mind

but... well, I'll take it.

Oh, Elfrid, it's just like a dream.

Don't...

don't tell anyone yet a bit.

Only Ma.

(# Bridal Chorus)

(Music drowns out speech)

We've got a compartment

to ourselves, anyhow.

The rice they must've bought.

Pounds and pounds!

Ain't you gonna kiss me, Elfrid,

now that we're alone together?

Be careful of my 'at.

(Train whistle)

(Clock chiming)

(Clock chiming)

- (Knocks at door)

- (Clock chiming)

For you, Alfred.

(Sighs)

Who's it from?

Konk, Maybrick, Ghool and Gabbitas.

Them again. I might've known.

"Dear sir, unless..."

Sixty pounds?

Elfrid, what you gonna do?

Nothing, I suppose, as usual. I ought

to have known better than to have asked.

You've always been the same,

ever since we came here.

You're lazy, Alfred.

That's what's the matter with you.

You're good for nothing but talking

and reading. Reading, you can do that.

But you can't do any real work, can you?

No. You think you're too good for it.

I'd like to know where you're gonna get

60 from. Or the rent, come to that.

You don't care.

You just sit there doing nothing.

It's all you've been doing,

as long as I can remember.

Month after month

for nearly 15 years now.

15 years next May it is.

May the 25th.

That's a day I shan't forget

in an 'urry.

I don't know why married you.

I don't, really, I don't.

You made it sound as if it was

gonna be all right. Promises.

We'd be rich

if we could live on promises.

We need more than promises now.

- (Clattering)

- (Running water)

Never anywhere to sit.

(Crockery rattles)

(Crockery clinks)

(Horse and cart passing)

(Sighs)

(Crockery clinks)

(Crockery clinks)

(Blows nose)

Hello?

Can't we have another point of view?

- I'm tired of the end elevation.

- Eh?

Of all the vertebracious animals,

man alone raises his face to the sky.

Why avert it?

In fact, old man, I'm sick of you

turning your back on me.

Oh, so that's what you're talking about?

That's it.

The way the wind blows.

What's the fuss?

No fuss. I just don't like it,

old man, that's all.

Can't help it if the wind

blows my straw.

Needn't unpack

like a pig rooting for truffles.

- Truffles?

- Needn't unpack like a pig.

Pig?

- Are you calling me a pig?

- It's the side I seem to get of you.

'Ere! I don't want no row with you,

and I don't want you to row with me.

I'm a peaceful man. Teetotal too.

And a good thing if you was.

- You go inside.

- You mean to say?

I'm asking you civilly to stop unpacking

with your back to me.

A pig ain't civil, and you ain't sober.

You go and let me get on with my work.

And stop calling me pig, see?

I came here to make a civil request.

You came 'ere to make a row.

I don't want no truck with you, see?

I don't like the looks of you, see?

And I can't stand here all day arguin'.

See?

- (Clock chiming)

- (Clank)

(Whistles tune)

You're not only lazy, you're deceitful.

Been trying to hide them underneath

the counter. No wonder we're in trouble.

You throw away all our money on books.

And what's the good of them, anyway?

Naked string and glue,

that's all they are.

Tom Cringle's Log. A Sailor Tramp.

Wanderings In South America.

I don't know why you want to bother.

Isn't Fishbourne enough for you?

If you'd concentrate a bit more

on running the business

we might be a deal better off.

(Rumbold) Called me a pig!

(Hinks) You're not the only one.

He's been flapping his mouth about me.

(Rumbold) Unpack how it suits me. Can't

unpack with straw blowing into me eyes.

(Hinks) I've had enough of Mr Polly.

He wants a poke in the nose.

- Inside, is he? You leave him to me.

- (Footsteps)

Know what you want to do?

You want to stop

flapping your mouth about me.

Stop flapping your silly mouth.

This place gets

more of your mouth than it wants.

- You don't want to talk so much.

- Don't I?

See this?

- D'you want a bloody nose?

- No.

Then you want to shut up.

- (Bucket bangs)

- You been asking for it, Alfred.

Now you've got it.

I always knew this talking of yours'd

get you into trouble.

But you wouldn't listen.

Never listen to anything

I've got to say.

It's the same with this house.

I told you so.

Too many stairs.

Inconvenient little rooms.

All this white paint. You would have it.

Shows the dirt something awful.

I've always hated this shop.

(Opens door)

Since you brought me here! You may

as well know it, and that's telling you!

- (Sighs)

- (Bucket water slooshes)

(Click)

(Washing floor)

Seen my cap anywhere?

(He sighs)

(Scrubbing upstairs)

- (Scrubbing upstairs)

- I said cap!

You'd like me to wear this silly Mud Pie

forever! I won't, I'm sick of it!

I'm pretty near sick of everything,

if it comes to that!

Hat!

Tantrums. I 'aven't patience.

Git!

(Sounds horn)

Tin man traps all over the pavement!

You put it all b-b...

(Whistles)... back!

Put it all back yourself!

You got to put it...

(Whistles)... back!

Get out of my way!

Let go, d'you hear? Let go!

- 'Ere! What's all this about?

- Pails all over the road.

Bunging up the street

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes