The Holiday Page #3

I haven't done it before,

but friends have."

Where are you?

Please say somewhere far away.

"L.A."

Never been there.

Always wanted to go.

I'm Iris, by the way.

I'm very normal.

Neat freak. Healthy. Non-smoker.

Single.

Hate my horrible life.

I'm Amanda.

Loner, loser and complicated wreck.

Hi.

Hi.

I must say...

...your house looks idyllic.

"Just what I need." Really?

What does your place look like?

My place is nice,

but it's a little bigger than yours.

"Are there any men in your town?"

Honestly?

"Tomorrow's perfect."

Okay. We are on for two weeks...

...starting tomorrow.

Hi.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- Fine.

- Honey, we're sitting there.

Sorry.

Oh, yes. There it is.

- Well, hello, dear.

- Hello.

Excuse me.

There we go.

- I'm so sorry.

- No, no, it's okay.

- Did you step on her foot?

- It's okay.

Oh, dear. Clumsy me.

Amanda Woods is proud to present

Her Life.

- She had it all:

- Yes, that's it.

The job. The house.

The guy.

This holiday season...

...find out

what Amanda doesn't have.

This is amazing, this is amazing!

Oh, look at that.

Madam?

Madam?

- Madam?

- Yeah.

- We're here.

- Okay.

This can't be it.

No, it's just down that lane.

But the thing is, I'll never be able

to turn this around at the other end.

Think you can make it from here?

No.

Hey. You wouldn't happen to know

where Rosehill Cottage is?

Go right at the bridge, and then

just keep going. Way down there.

Okay.

I'm here!

Holy sh*t.

Oh, my God!

Okay, that'll be interesting.

Get in the... Get in there. Okay.

Cute dress.

Oh, suitcase.

Okay.

Now what?

I can do this.

I can drive

on the wrong side of the road...

...and the wrong side of the car.

Just stay focused.

Oh, please do not hit me!

Okay, I hate this.

Oh, God.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

- Move out of the way!

- Watch it!

Sorry. Stop!

Oh, God.

I need a drink.

Someone's having a party tonight.

Oh, yeah.

- They went to the shops.

- Didn't see anything.

Came home,

and had a bit of a kiss and cuddle.

The end.

Rebecca Green

was just your average 20-year-old.

Until the father she never knew...

...left her something

she never expected.

- You happen to have two guns?

- I didn't think one would be enough.

Deception. Christmas Day.

And that's why they pay me

the big bucks.

And now the weather. First,

Northern England and North Wales...

...will have sleet or snow in the

morning and again later in the day.

Blinked.

Oh, that's intense.

Oh, no. "Gate"?

- Who was he with?

- Maggie.

- The flutes. This is the best part.

- One second.

Hello... Hello?

- Hello? Can you hear me?

- Yeah, it's Miles. Amanda?

No, I'm sorry.

Amanda's not here, I'm afraid.

I'm trying to figure out

how to open the gate. Oh, fu...

Very nice.

If you heard that, I'm sorry.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I'm so sorry.

I'm new at the gate thing.

It's okay. It was pretty funny.

I'm Miles. I work with Ethan.

Ethan?

- Amanda's ex.

- Oh, right.

Right.

Know when she'll be back?

Supposed to pick up things.

Amanda's in England,

actually, on holiday.

I'm staying here while she's away.

- You okay?

- Yes.

Yeah, something just

blew into my eye.

Oh, I hate that. Let me see.

Yep, you got something in

your eyelash. You want me to get it?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Yeah, Santa Anas.

- Pardon?

The wind. It's what makes

it so warm this time of year.

Legend has it,

when the Santa Anas blow...

...all bets are off.

Anything can happen.

That's it. You okay?

Better. Thank you.

So you needed to?

Pick up Ethan's laptop.

And you're his?

Oh, well, I'm a film composer, too,

like Ethan, but...

- Did you compose this? It's beautiful.

- This?

Yes, I did. I wrote this.

No, I didn't. I wish I did.

This is the great Ennio Morricone.

Would you mind

coming back tomorrow?

I just want to check this

with Amanda's assistant.

Sure.

- I'm Iris, by the way.

- Miles.

- Right.

- And this is my Maggie.

I mean, just Maggie.

Not "my" Maggie.

- Hello.

- Hey.

- Are you ready?

- Yeah.

Okay.

Don't blow away.

I won't.

Anything can happen.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine,

Who is it?

It's me. Hurry up. It's freezing.

- Who are you?

- Iris, open the door...

...or I swear I'm gonna take a leak

all over your...

You're not Iris.

Or if you are,

I'm much drunker than I realized.

I'm sorry for my profanity.

I wasn't expecting you.

Well, I wasn't expecting you either.

Nevertheless, may I just...?

Yeah. Of course. Sure.

You had to... Yeah.

I'm Graham. Iris' brother.

Brother.

I'm Amanda Woods.

I'm staying here.

Amandawoods?

Is that all one word?

No. No, it's not.

Brother? Oh, my God.

So Iris is... Where is...?

Where is she?

She didn't tell you?

She could have done...

...but as previously stated...

...I'm... I've just... I've been...

She's in Los Angeles.

That's not possible.

Iris never goes anywhere.

Well, we have that in common.

No, she listed this cottage on a

home-exchange website and I found it.

We switched houses for two weeks.

For the holiday.

She's in L.A. At my house

and I'm here.

- People actually do that?

- Apparently.

Yeah. I mean, it seems.

Here I am in my pajamas.

She did ring me last night. I didn't

get a chance to get back to her.

I feel awful now.

Would you mind if I sat?

I feel like I might bump into you.

Sure. Yeah. Sit.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

Look, I'm sorry about the intrusion.

Although I may not appear it,

I am in fact Iris'...

...semi-respectable big brother.

But on the rare...

Or lately not-so-rare occasion...

...that I frequent the local pub...

...and get inordinately pissed,

my little sister puts me up...

...so I don't get behind the wheel.

Pathetic explanation, but unfortunately

it's become a bit of a routine.

So how's it going so far?

I mean, up until I showed up

and ruined your night.

Well, it's not going so great.

Yeah, I'm leaving tomorrow

on a noon plane.

When did you get here?

About six hours ago.

We've made a great impression

on you, haven't we?

No, it's not that. It's just that...

You know,

I'm not quite myself right now.

I came here on a stupid whim.

Honestly, I've never thought about

anything less. It's very unlike me.

Would you like something to drink?

Glass of water? Tea?

Wine, maybe?

I think there's a bottle of brandy.

Fancy a glass?

- Sure.

- Good.

So... I'm sorry, I've totally blanked

and forgotten your name.

Amanda.

So, Amanda...

...you're not married, are you?

Why? Do I look not married?

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