The Hollywood Knights Page #2

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in a bad neighborhood.

These guys are punks.

When I got into the Knights, I had to climb

a greased pole and they put eggs up my butt.

I know. You should suffer,

you know?

Let's go, guys. Out, out, out.

Everybody out.

It's initiation time. Let's go.

Come on, man.

Let's go.

This is not a party. You want a party?

Come back after initiation.

Get against the car.

Out of sight.

- Okay, drop them.

- What?

Get your clothes off!

Strip, man! Let's go.

You should be proud to be Knights.

Don't give me that look.

You're lucky. We used to tar and feather

the pledges. You know what I mean?

Wheatly, look at that. That

looks like a penis, only smaller.

Hey, listen,

go in the back there.

I want the tires out of the truck,

I want your clothes in.

Tires out, I want the clothes in.

What are we gonna do with the tires?

Here's the plan of action.

I want to see you and the tires

back at Tubby's at 2:00.

If you are not back by 2:00, I do

not want to see you back at all.

Because at 2:
00, gentlemen, I expect

to hear the dedication over the radio

that you've delivered the message

to the DJ at the record store.

Are we set there, gentlemen?

Are we ready? Very, very, very good.

Gentlemen, goodbye, good luck. And

think of this as a great adventure.

It's Halloween, jackoff.

Let's go, let's have some fun.

Take off your shorts!

Come on. Come on, man.

Hey, guys, watch out for

a cougar with rabies!

You mean they're gonna leave us

naked in Watts?

Where's the record store?

Hey, come on down

and see me, I am broadcasting live

from Music City

in the heart of Watts tonight.

Hey, guess who's coming in now.

It's time for Dr. J., all right.

KBLA and Surf Sam getting up and

making way for who else but Dr. J.

Thank you, my man, Surf Sam.

Hey, Dr. J., KBLA,

Halloween night, 1965.

The funkiest you have

ever heard.

And I'm gonna hit you hard with

"Sherry" by The Four Seasons right now.

What time is it?

Eight-thirty.

Maybe the chicks aren't coming.

Hey, you guys, shut up!

This is our secret spot.

Nobody knows about it.

Now, will you stop worrying? We're alone.

Nobody knows we're here. I'm telling you.

I can't believe we're doing this.

If my pop ever found out

that I was changing into this outfit,

he would just die. He would die.

My God. I can't believe...

Don't forget to take

your bra off. You too.

I read about a new bust exercise.

Really? Where?

In the Vogue magazine.

Especially from Europe.

I paid $6 for it.

Ooh, does that feel good.

Freedom at last.

You think I should wear a bra? I'd hate to

get caught without a bra in a car accident.

Oh, is this exciting.

My pants are too tight.

Take your underwear off.

What's wrong with you? Just hurry up and

get changed before somebody does come.

I'm ready. Come on.

We gotta hurry to the pep rally.

Watch out!

Oh, my God!

What are you doing there?

Get out of here! What are you, crazy?

I don't believe it!

Get out of here!

I can't stand you, Turk!

You're so immature!

You're such a putz!

Hey, that's real great. Here comes

Bimbeau. Get up, man! Here he comes, man.

I wanna tell you buttholes

something.

This sh*t is way

out of line.

And you squirrels better have

some nuts in your mouth,

or you're going downtown.

What the hell's

the difference, huh?

I gotta have a nighttime job

so I can be free during the day.

Yeah, I almost forgot. You're

gonna be a famous actress.

That's what pisses you off, isn't it?

That I might become somebody.

I think you're somebody right now.

Oh, sh*t, come on.

Look, I gotta start looking

after tonight anyway.

You know, I think you're right.

You should go out and...

...find a job right away so

you don't starve to death.

What do you want me to do?

You're gonna start college in January,

you got a part-time job here at Smitty's.

Right. Hey, it's not my fault

you're a carhop.

Do you think I like all them jerks making

wiseass cracks about my old lady all night?

You don't like it? Look, I'm

the one that's gotta put up with it.

Look, I gotta get in there.

I'll talk to you later, okay?

If I can't get off early,

are you gonna wait for me?

I gotta tell Red.

I don't know.

Sh*t.

Hey, that's the car

James Dean drove, man.

Bitchen.

He had two of these.

Hey, man, these things handle real

well. You can take a corner outrageous.

Probably gonna take

the coast road up too.

All curvy, beautiful.

It's a '57.

Try using the handle, Clark.

Okay, here we go. Here we go.

Okay, Wiener schnitzels.

Hey, hey, it's just a cop.

Let's get these overpriced

sewing machines out of here!

Just a cop that likes to bust balls.

What's that, Newbomb?

I said, you guys stand tall.

We stand tall.

Okay... You can listen too.

I wanna tell you something.

If I smell any

rubber tonight...

Benedict Canyon,

anywhere around there.

- Your ass is grass,

and I'm the lawn mower.

You got it? You punks got it?

You got that, boys?

His ass. Okay?

Yes, sir. Yes, officer.

Let's go.

Move it out!

Come on, go.

Go! Go!

I gotta take a squirt.

Good night, Officer Clark.

Good night, Officer Lawn Mower.

Come on.

Ooh! Ooh!

Come on! Right here!

Hey, Brenda, listen.

Hey, I enjoyed last night.

Good God.

No, it's okay. I'll have a Big One

and a Cherry Coke.

Make it two Big Ones

and two Cherry Cokes.

You want the Big One?

I've got the Big One.

Oh, God, he is so gross!

Hey, hey, hey,

you two girls want a thrill?

I'm not paying any attention.

Hey, Iron Box,

I'm talking to you

and your girlfriend.

Very funny.

Hey, have you ever heard

my version of that song?

Oh, my God,

we have to get out of here.

Why?

He's gonna fart the song.

He's gonna what?

He's going to fart the song.

You're gonna love it.

Stay there.

Let me warm up.

Hey, look,

there's that red Dodge!

Hey, Jimbo.

What do you say, Jimmy?

Hey, Jimmy, kind of cold

on that thing or what?

Colder than a witch's tit.

Ah, hey. Here.

What's this?

Go on, keep it. You'll need something to

read on the bus. I'll pick up another one.

Jimmy, you know, I was thinking,

if you have to go overseas, man,

I'll collect all those magazines from

the guys and I'll send them over to you.

Thanks.

I never thought of that.

But I probably won't be

going over to Vietnam.

The only people they're

sending over is advisers.

Hey, I thought last month, when Dee

Dee was late, I wouldn't be going.

They ain't taking anybody

with babies.

That's a tough break.

You're gonna get

the experience of a lifetime.

I remember the first time I ever saw

you two guys. Do you remember that?

You came rolling that bicycle

in here with two flat tires

and a broken chain

and the bent handlebars.

I looked at you and said, "Get that

thing out of here. We fix cars. "

Yeah, fix cars. Thirty minutes later

it was fixed, and we were riding it.

You know,

I can't believe it, man.

You know there's only

four pledges this year?

I remember when I was in junior high

school, everybody wanted to be a Knight.

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