The Hollywood Knights Page #7

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We'll go to Santa Monica pier

and watch the sun come up.

Hey, that sounds like

pretty romantic stuff to me.

Hey, I remember one time,

I was in Okinawa.

Me and this buddy of mine

named Grease...

Best damn mechanic

I ever seen.

Anyway, me and Grease took this

Thunderbolt engine out of a crate,

modified that son of a b*tch

and put it in a little jeep.

I mean, they was having

a parade that day.

I mean, MacArthur and his whole

hot-damn staff were there, man.

Anyway, me and this Grease

got in that jeep

and we blew by that parade.

Oh, sh*t, man.

It must've been 150 miles an hour.

MPs are still looking for us.

They found the jeep.

They only suspected it was us.

What happened

to Grease?

That son of a b*tch got drunk and

drove a command car into an ammo dump

and the whole thing went up,

and they never did find nothing.

War's funny, huh?

Hey, listen. I wanna

say something. Um...

If something happens to me

while I'm gone...

I don't know,

anything.

- I don't want that the car should...

Well, Dee Dee wouldn't know

what to do with it and...

I want the car should go to the club.

You know, all the guys.

Hell, that was the big one.

Vietnam's nothing like that.

I know, I know, I know, but

I'm just saying, just in case.

Hey, listen, nothing's gonna

happen. Let's get some beers.

This is Dr. J. On KBLA, the boss with the

hot sauce. I'm gonna tell you something.

This is for lovers only.

This is for everybody

up on Mulholland Drive.

I want you to do me a favor.

I want you to put one hand

on the radio

and the other hand

wherever you feel it should be.

And that's exactly where you're

putting me on Halloween night, 1965.

For lovers only.

We'll never make it back.

It's after 1:
00.

Hey, how you doing?

See if they'll help us.

How you doing, Mrs. Johnson?

Maybe these guys will help us.

Hey, let's ask them.

Hey, what's going on?

We need you guys to do us a favor.

We're trying to get into

this car gang in Beverly Hills.

They dropped us here, took our

clothes and left us four spare tires.

We gotta get to Hollywood by 2:00.

It's an initiation.

But we need a dedication in that

record store from the disc jockey.

You guys gotta do us a big favor

and make a dedication.

Okay. What you want?

The song is "Heat Wave. "

Gotta get it on by 2:00, and if you can,

try to get him to say something like,

"To anyone who

ever cruises Tubby's. "

Right.

Tubby's, huh?

Tubby's, all right?

"Cruises Tubby's," all right?

My brother Willy T. Here has the best.

We kind of gotta go.

If you're ever in the neighborhood,

come on over for lox and bagels.

You cats smoke any of

this sh*t before?

Oh, yeah, we smoke

that stuff all the time.

Check this out, man.

That'll put a hem in

your dress. You'll love it.

It is a killer.

Hold it in, right?

Hold it in.

It's a killer, isn't it?

Give me a hit of that, man.

From the desert to the sea, soulfully.

Please let me hold you.

No, I'm all right.

No, you're not. What you need is

a good hot sauna and a massage.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

And you're not mad no more?

No. No, I'm all right.

One more call about those Knights,

your ass is in the meat grinder.

Listen, I don't know what

you've been doing all night,

but you're gonna have the lieutenant

all over your butts tomorrow.

There was a kidnapping

at the pep rally.

And somebody farted their way

around the gym at show time.

Then you two end up assaulting

an honor student.

Then the lawn over at

the country club dance was torn up.

Somebody urinated

in the refreshments,

played a lewd recording

over the PA.

Then somebody went on-stage

and stuck his finger out

in place of his dick or something.

I've never seen anybody

as asleep at the wheel

as you two have been tonight.

Now, wake up!

You get it?

Hey, Newbomb,

where's your El Camino?

A**hole.

That guy is such an a**hole.

What the hell did you say?

What the hell did you say?!

I said, "It's cold. Brrr.

Real cold. "

That son of a b*tch.

He usually goes to the can about now.

I got an idea.

I got an idea. I'm gonna

get this a**hole.

Shorty! I'll really

get this a**hole.

Tarzan. Tarzan,

come here for a second.

Listen, go to the head. Take a roll of

toilet paper. Shove it all the way in.

Stuff it up. I don't

want anything coming up.

You got your screwdriver? Got it?

Yeah, I got it.

Go to Brother Earle's and get

a potato, an unpeeled potato.

Hey, dumb-ass,

get over there!

What the hell...?

I want to get a chip.

You got this crap

all over me.

You want a chip?

Here's a damn chip.

Hey, Iron Box!

Don't you think I'd look good

in a mustache?

Yeah. You'd look better

than good.

You'd look perfect,

like a perfect horse's ass.

You're just jealous,

that's all.

I'm gonna go take a whiz.

Just make sure you wash

your hands, all right?

Just don't slam the door, okay?

You're gonna spill my milk.

Clark...

Oh, sh*t!

Holy sh*t.

Come on, hurry. Hurry!

This one's for Tubby's.

"Where's your El Camino?

Where's your El Camino?"

Officer Bimbeau!

Oh! Oh...

Oh, sh*t! Hey, Clark!

Clark!

Hey!

Clark! Clark!

Bimbeau? Bimbeau!

Clark, come on!

I'm in here!

What's going on? What?

I'm locked in here!

Okay. All right.

Get back, Bimbeau!

Clark! Clark!

Clark! You a**hole!

Clark!

Get up there.

What's the matter with you?

What the hell were you doing?

I gotta get my shoe!

Get your shoe!

Look at my new shoes!

You look wonderful.

That was funny. That was real funny.

It was wonderful. It was just...

It was great.

Help! Help! Help!

Get back! Give him air!

Shut up! Shut your mouth!

This punk is drunk!

Get your ass up!

He's not drunk.

He's the honor student.

He's having an epileptic fit!

Do something!

A fit? Put something in his mouth.

He'd swallow his tongue.

Shove the nightstick in his mouth.

No! No! No!

No! No! No!

I'm fine. I'm all right.

He's up! It's a miracle!

Your lights. Your lights. You didn't turn

on your lights. Your lights. Your lights.

Now look what you did.

Look what you did.

What? What in the hell

are you talking...?

Why are you riding shotgun for?

I'm not driving. You are.

You go to sleep in the back seat.

You're supposed to be watching out!

Let me drive!

Blow him away.

Go!

Way to go, weenie!

Hey.

Take care of this

until I get back home, okay?

For me?

Well, you earned it.

Put it on, man.

Thanks, man.

What about the pledges

we left in Watts?

What about those guys?

Where are they?

It's 2:
00 in the morning.

Maybe we should go get them.

Wait. We're...?

We're going to go to Watts

at 2:
00 in the morning?

Let's go.

Ah, what the hell. Hey, everybody!

Beer's on the house!

What are they gonna do,

close us down, Smitty?

How was the dance?

I don't know. I didn't go.

Where you been?

Out there.

How was it?

It's okay.

Don't shut me out.

Hey, you know, I can handle

blowing the screen test...

as long as I don't

blow it with you.

I just gotta say

I was there.

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