The Hollywood Knights Page #6

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Just drive the truck through here.

I would like to get home tonight.

Well, here goes nothing.

That... That... That car!

I told you not to come in here!

You killed my flowers!

That man in the parking lot

told us to come down here.

The man that's having

the memorial library built.

Oh, no!

That rich guy over there.

Who did this?

Told us about Newbomb Turk.

Newbomb Turk did this!

I know!

Newbomb, that a**hole!

Oh, Dudley.

Dudley, come here. We

want to show you something.

- I... I... I...

- Dudley, come over here.

Come on.

Dudley, I want to

show you something.

Come here, Dudley. I want to

show you something. Come here.

Dudley, look.

Dudley, are you okay?

Oh, yes.

Oh, good.

It's gonna be all right.

Newbomb, is that you again?

Yeah, Dudley. Sorry.

Nothing personal.

I understand, I think.

Please be careful with the cape.

I will.

It's rented.

Have a beer, buddy.

I hope you win the contest.

Thanks, Dud, that's sweet.

Watch your head, bye.

Well done, ladies.

Uh-uh, I...

Hey, hey, hey.

You can do it.

I can do it.

My boy.

Hello? One, two?

Did you hear about Jean Friedman?

She had an abortion in Tijuana.

They're talking about

my daughter!

I'm not surprised. I heard she gave

half the football team the clap.

They were playing

like it last week too.

That was Brenda and Shirley

Weintraub, the Iron Box Twins,

coming to you live from the ladies' room

at Tubby's Drive-In this Halloween night.

But I cannot function

without my glasses or my puffer.

Dudley, would you

just relax and stay put?

I'll be back in a few minutes

with my rail job.

Don't forget me.

I won't forget you.

Just stay put.

Because I'm a little scared.

There's nothing

to be scared of. Stay put.

So let's welcome, please, um...

He's a wonderful one-armed...

Uh, one-armed violinist.

Mr...

Mr. Sasha Du... Da...

Mr. Sasha Dabinsky, the one-armed

violinist. Let's welcome him.

I presume that must be...

Well... The one-armed violinist.

It's impossible!

He grabbed it with his dick!

Stop applauding! Stop applauding!

Stop applauding!

Making fun of handicapped people...

Excuse me.

Making fun of handicapped people

is not my idea of a joke.

There may be people laughing,

but I'm telling you, we can fight.

They may be laughing now,

but they'll be laughing...

...out the other side of

their faces in the morning

when we start tearing down that

social disease of Beverly Hills!

Tubby's is gonna be torn down!

He grabbed it with his dick!

I beg your pardon, sir.

I miss your big Buick.

Oh, that's great.

Here.

Oh, I love it.

God, you feel great.

Don't mess my hair up, though.

Honey, I didn't touch your hair.

Oh, sh*t.

Hello?

Hello. Oh, hello. Excuse me, I'm lost.

Could you show me the way to the dance?

It's way over there.

Yes, over that way.

Mrs. Friedman?

Mrs. Friedman!

Oh, Dudley, you...

Hello.

Get my clothes.

Oh, sh*t.

Look. We're all in our underwear.

You know, I'm a real nice girl. I've got

the best reputation in our high school.

I heard about

your reputation.

Mike, I can't do it.

That's all right.

You can't get pregnant this way.

I'm not that type of girl.

You can't get pregnant.

Okay. Okay.

Right there.

How's that? How's that?

Faster! Faster!

Oh, God!

It's caught in the zipper!

No! Get away!

Oh, don't touch it!

Don't touch it! Let it go down!

I gotta wait. No, I just gotta

wait till the swelling goes down!

Dark, you are like a dead putz.

I mean, this is a party.

We're supposed to have fun, music,

pastrami. What's wrong with you?

Turk, come over here. Now, he

happens to be very hysterically funny.

I put him right up there

with Steve and Eydie.

He has more talent in his little pinkie

than you have in your whole pinkie.

Why don't you just go blow?

I mean, you make me nauseous.

High school girls.

I should have known better.

Humpf.

You know, you have

impeccable taste.

Listen, I'm having

a party at my house. Uh...

You wanna take me?

To the pie wagon.

On a beautiful Halloween night,

1965, with Dr. J. On the burner!

Go. Go.

Okay.

Oh, Turk. Turk.

Oh, Turk. Turk, I'm ready.

Come here, Turk.

This is just like

in the movies.

Oh, I'm wearing my mother's

musk-scent perfume.

Oh, Turk. Turk,

come back here.

Come on, before I lose

the feeling, Turk.

Turk, come on.

Turk? Turk?

Come on, Turk. Come back here.

Come on.

Um...

Come on, Turk.

What?

It's not right.

What?

It's not right.

What's not right?

The mood's not right.

What do you mean?

What do you mean? I'm in the mood!

I'm ready. I'm hot. I'm ready to go.

Come on! I'm all hot and bothered!

Are you kidding me?

Turk! Did you come?

Turk. Turk.

What?

Did you come?

A little.

A little?

What do you mean?

Either you came or you didn't!

Did you come or not?

I came.

Oh, my God. I'm so embarrassed.

I came. I came.

Give me my shirt back. Oh, my God!

You came! I can't believe it!

You are so immature.

I am not immature!

I came. It happens.

I'm sorry it happened.

Who does it happen to?

It's all very personal.

I'm glad I came. You know that?

I'm glad I came. I really am.

God, are you

something!

This is the engine of the future.

In a VW.

Funny.

There's only six of those

in the country.

Yeah, but Nader's gonna stop

all this. There won't be no more.

Yeah, I'm afraid you're right.

If that's Sharon, tell her I've gone.

Guys, let's do this another night.

Kiss my ass.

He's already gone.

You sure you

wanna see this?

What, are you crazy?

Come on.

Let's do it.

Is this piss yellow?

That's Tony Nancy

yellow.

Hey, Jimmy, check this out.

Laz was over here today

rubbing this thing out.

His back went,

and Al came in and finished it.

Hey, he did a good job.

Phew. Man.

Hey, who put the tune on it?

- Fiasco.

- Boy, does it run sweet.

Tony, what about

that other thing?

What other thing?

You know. The thing.

Hey, what's the deal?

It's a little going-away present,

Jim, from the Knights

and the guys here at the shop,

they all chipped in.

Junior put it in.

Ahead of the headlines, this is

the 1 a. m. Edition of KBLA News,

presented by the car

of the future, Studebaker.

Come on, come on. Let's get those tires

in the van and let's split, brother.

We'll never get back by 2, man.

Forget it.

Damn, look at your car.

Where the hell are my tires?

Get them!

Why do these guys singing rock 'n'

roll have to wear those kind of glasses?

God, it's gonna be weird

living back in New York.

What's wrong, Suzie?

Duke getting you crazy?

I don't know.

He go to the dance

without you?

I guess so.

That's the way it goes.

Yeah. He'll probably be back later

when I close the place and have a beer.

Guy's being tough

on you, huh?

What time's the screen test

tomorrow?

Seven.

Don't let it bother you.

Be good tomorrow.

Thanks.

Hey, Jimmy, what time do you

have to leave tomorrow?

I gotta be up at 6.

Dee Dee's waiting for me.

I gotta get over there.

She's cooked a roast. We're gonna

drink a bottle of champagne.

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