The Honor List Page #5

You know the drill.

Beep!

(BEEP)

Thanks for ignoring my call...

jerk.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Because of you, I

No matter what I do, oh

- Dance, dance

- Because of you, I

- I wish I never...

- (CAMERA CLICKING)

It's almost 9:
00.

Where is everyone?

Ever heard

of being fashionably late?

Or you're just not as popular

as you thought.

Oh, what did I tell you

about using the word "popular"?

Dance, dance

- Because of you

- Dance, dance

I wish I never knew...

Let's have a drink, right?

- Here we go.

- This is gonna be fun.

Isabella.

Shouldn't we wait

till everyone gets here?

We could, or you know

what's more fun

than waiting for everyone?

Not waiting for everyone.

'Cause we, us three,

are so fun,

are so fun,

with parties and stuff.

Like, you know, like, it's a...

Cheers of us three, right?

Come on. Let's cheers it.

The amigos.

Uh-huh. Fun.

Ahh.

Nobody's coming.

What do you mean?

I...

might have...

put the wrong day on the invite.

You did not.

Well, I am...

I am sort of dyslexic, so...

- Or you're just stupid.

- Hey!

Piper, we did all of this

for nothing.

No. No, no, no, no.

Hey, hey, it wasn't for nothing.

Um, we...

We got to use your mom's

super cool punch bowl.

Come on.

Uh, any requests?

Sophie? Sophie? Music?

I know you wanna dance

to Carly Rae Jepsen.

Or... Or we could put on

some vintage Bieber.

Oh, wait!

Oh, it's on.

Supernova, sugar candy

Sugar candy,

cool it off, and cool it off

And pour it on the, pour it

on the supernova, supernova

Sugar candy, sugar candy,

cool it off, and cool it off

And pour it on the, pour it

on the supernova, supernova

- Oh, oh

- (RECORD SCRATCHES)

Come on, yeah, I own it

I want it

I've got it

I want it

I own it

I want it

I got it

Words, waking soft

Waking slow

Fading into focus...

This is the best.

Every pose

Holding in the moment

Every fall, every rise

Falling on your shoulders

And I'm trying not to try

so hard for you...

(MUSIC FADING)

How do you even walk in those?

They're like knives.

I walk the walk.

Or what, Leah and Krissy

will stage a mutiny

and gouge your eyes out

with a stiletto?

(CHUCKLES) Pretty much.

What do you guys

even do together,

you, Leah, and Krissy?

Nothing, really.

It's more just like

we're, like, seen together.

Your friends

are nasty b*tches.

I can't stand them.

Then why do they

call you J-Lo?

J-Lo is cool.

Not J-Lo,

like "Jenny from the Block."

Jell-O, like pudding.

Oh.

Remember when Honor used

to put her jeans in the dryer

before we went out

so they'd be super tight?

(CHUCKLES)

Remember that white pair?

God, the guys would lose

their sh*t when she wore those.

What happened

between you and Honor?

I mean, Piper and me,

that was obvious,

but you guys...

We drifted apart.

I miss Honor.

(SIGHS)

Hi.

Issy said there was

a party or something,

a kick-ass senior party?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Uh, it's already over. (LAUGHS)

Also never really started. Um...

Isabella's asleep.

Can I come in?

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

I loved seeing you onstage

the other night.

(LAUGHS)

You were funny.

That was very brave.

Brave? Uh, mm-mm.

See, that's a...

that's a code word for,

"should not have, like,

word-vomited

all of my mental problems."

"Run for the hills.

There's a crazy lady

on the stage."

Hey, stop that.

You know, I've always had

a thing for you.

Really? Hmm.

What type of thing?

You know, like, a thing.

Mm. Like a big thing,

or like a small thing?

I'd like to think

it's a big thing.

I don't think Isabella

would like this.

Actually, I know she wouldn't.

We could play cards.

I would destroy you at bridge.

And I want to

And I want to

And I want to get by

(SNORING)

(COUGHS)

(GASPING)

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

I think I saw David Bowie

last night.

(DILLON YELPS)

Who was that?

I don't know.

Sounded like it came

from the fire pit.

- (CAR DOOR SLAMS)

- (GASPS)

- (MAN SPEAKING)

- Oh, no, no, no.

You know,

air bags are important.

You don't want...

Oh, no, no, no.

My parents are here.

Uh, what should we do?

- I... I don't know.

- We should hide.

Okay, yeah. Hide.

In the closet.

- In the closet. In the closet.

- No, no, no!

- Behind the couch.

- Okay, okay, behind...

Lewis, there's

been a break-in!

- Sophie! Sophie! Oh, my God!

- What? What?

Please, please tell me

you're okay?

Sophie! Soph! What...

What is... What is this?

- (PHONE BEEPS)

- Hey, Siri,

what's the best way

to get gum out of pubic hair?

(BEEP)

Okay, here's

what I found on the web

for "what's the best way

to get gum out of pubic hair?"

Mayonnaise.

Look at this place.

It's like wild animals

stormed through the house.

I mean, I used to have parties

when I was a kid,

but n-nothing like this.

This is like a... a rager

or something.

This... This utter

and complete carnage.

Yes. Good word.

Mom, we did not have a party.

I promise.

Nobody came over.

No boys. It was just me,

Isabella, and Piper.

You expect us to believe that

you three girls did all of this?

- (SNORTS)

- (LAUGHS)

You know what?

Maybe you will think

being grounded is equally funny.

Yeah, Sophie, I don't know

what's come over you.

You know, you disappoint me.

You, too, Isabella!

Expected more from you.

I did not.

I'm sorry,

Mr. and Mrs. Stephens.

- (SCREAMS)

- (SCREAMS)

What the...

SIRI:
Here's what

I found on the web

for "what's the second-best way

to get gum out of pubic hair?"

Ice cubes.

(LAUGHS)

The Morrisettes

are gonna bring it

The Morrisettes

are gonna swing it

The Morrisettes

are gonna fire it up

And the Mariners

are gonna triumph

Yeah, the Mariners

are gonna triumph

Yeah, the Mariners...

(MOCKING) Oh, the Mariners

are gonna triumph

Thanks for helping us clean.

Oh, I had to sneak out a guy.

Was that who was screaming?

Yeah, gum got caught

in his pubes.

- Ow.

- Yeah.

So who's the guy?

Oh, just some... It's a model

I met at Sunset Tower.

So original.

Yeah.

I love that you're

still doing this.

This looks like

your best issue yet.

You read it?

So, number five.

Yeah, I... I can't read it.

This one.

Okay, let me see.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Get back at...

Get... Get back...

I mean, if we can't read it,

we should just skip

to the last one.

No, no, no, no, no.

Rest. Test. Get...

No. Okay, give it to me.

Give it to me. Give it to me.

Lean. Something lean.

Get back and lean?

Gig...

That says, "giggle," though.

Giggle lean.

- Giggle?

- Giggle and lean?

Jiggle.

- Huh?

- What?

Jiggle.

Get back at the Morrisettes

for the jiggle test.

You girls made it

to the final cut

of the Morrisettes.

The Morrisettes have been

an institution since what year?

Um, 2010.

Correct.

A Morrisette

is a model of health,

beauty, athleticism, and what?

Sisterhood.

Yes, sisterhood.

It is the highest honor you

can imagine to be a Morrisette.

Do you have what it takes

to be one of us?

- Yes.

- Yes.

- We can't hear you.

- Yes!

Are you willing

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