The Honor List Page #6

to do what it takes?

- Yes!

- Yes!

Strip down to your bra

and underwear.

Don't worry. We've got this.

(TOGETHER)

Now do the cheer.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Morrisettes are everywhere

Mariners fight

like they don't care

Twerking it, working it,

from the right

Hey, Mariners,

go take up the fight

The Morrisettes

are gonna bring it

Flashlights over here.

The Morrisettes

are gonna swing it

The Morrisettes

are gonna fire it up

And the Mariners

are gonna triumph

The Mariners

are gonna triumph

The Mariners are

gonna triumph

The Mariners

are gonna triumph

(CHEERING FADES)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(MORRISETTES WHISPERING)

After careful consideration,

we've come to a decision.

Isabella, you did

not pass the jiggle test.

We can't offer you a spot

on the Morrisettes.

You're welcome to go on a diet

and try out again next year.

But we do caution you not

to expose our selection methods,

or we will expose

your audition tape as well.

Way to go, Jell-O.

So, what do you think

of my plan?

I mean, they're your people,

subhuman as they are.

They're gonna hate you

for doing this.

Yeah, I don't really care.

It's almost graduation, and I

never have to see them again.

Then I'm in.

Didn't know you had it in you.

Oh, Sophie, can you hack

the lights above the court?

Sophie?

I'm sorry,

but I can't do this.

Why?

Maybe this isn't a big deal

for you guys.

I mean, you guys do these types

of things all the time.

But it is for me.

We said we'd do the list...

for Honor.

I know, but don't guilt me out

about Honor.

This isn't exactly on the list.

If anyone should have

reservations, it's me.

I'm the one

with the jiggly bits.

Oh, shut up. You're hot.

And Sophie, you are, too.

Sophie, you should be proud

of your body.

This isn't about me

being proud of my body.

I'm not doing this,

because I'm not a slut!

Whoa.

Yeah, okay,

tell us how you really feel.

- I'm sorry.

- Don't be.

If this makes me a slut,

then I am the biggest,

sloppiest one of them all.

I didn't mean for it

to come out like that.

You know,

for someone who hasn't had sex,

you certainly

make everything about it.

You're always teasing me

about being a virgin.

Yeah, you judge me

for not being one.

Listen. I don't care

that you haven't had sex.

I think it's awesome

that you're choosing that.

Be you, but I am so sick

of you judging me.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, hey, Sophie.

Yeah.

Sorry for interrupting.

Oh, no, don't worry about it.

I... I--I didn't know you

were so health conscious.

Oh, yeah, no one realizes

how in shape you've gotta be

to be the mascot.

You know,

a lot of running and jumping.

Yeah, that... that's cool

you take it so seriously.

Yeah, well,

games can get intense.

Uh, yeah,

actually that's kind of

what I wanted to ask you about.

Another favor? Yes.

Uh, but you don't even know

what I'm gonna ask you.

Well, the answer's yes,

but only if you'll

go to prom with me.

PLAYER:
We got you!

- Go! Go!

- Heads up! Heads up!

Okay, yeah.

Awesome.

You... You didn't tell me

what the favor was.

I'm in.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCATTERED CHEERING)

(CHEERING)

Go, Mariners!

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CELLPHONE DINGS)

Hey.

Hey. Uh,

I grabbed your uniform.

Thanks.

(SIGHS)

I am so nervous.

Oh, yeah.

I've peed, like, eight times.

(BOTH LAUGH)

That's a lot, even for you.

(COUGHS)

Piper.

Yeah?

It's not good.

Just in case

we don't live to tell...

this one isn't just for Honor.

It's for you.

(CELLPHONE DINGS)

I think you should be the one

to cross it off the list.

Thanks.

(CELLPHONE DINGS)

Someone really wants

your attention.

Is it Ball Sac on Ice?

(LAUGHS)

Hey.

Never thought

I'd be doing this.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome the Morrisettes

of Morris High!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Five, six, seven, eight.

Morrisettes are everywhere

Mariners fight

like they don't care

Twerking it, working it

from the right

Hey, Mariners,

go take up the fight

The Morrisettes,

they're gonna bring it

- The Morrisettes are...

- (CROWD MURMURING)

(OVER P.A.)

The Morrisettes use blackmail

and body shaming

as audition tactics.

- What?

- We say no more!

What's going on?

(AARON BEAT-BOXING)

Ahh...

Oh, I say, "Hello,"

you say, "Hell, no"

I say, "Hello,"

you say, "Hell, no"

We won't take no more of this,

hell, no

You can't take us anywhere

'Cause we jiggle, jiggle,

jiggle like we just don't care

Wiggling,

jiggling to the right

- (CROWD CHEERING)

- If you wanna swipe left

Better put up a fight

Don't be afraid,

'cause we gorgeous

Don't be ashamed,

'cause we're serious

This is no game,

not faking this

We're gonna make you

look ridiculous

We're gonna

make you look ridiculous

We're gonna make you

look ridiculous

We're gonna

make you look ridiculous

We say, "Hello,"

you say, "Hell, no"

We say, "Hello,"

you say, "Hell, no"

Hello, hell, no,

hello, hell, no

We won't take

no more of this, hell, no!

If you wanna feel the heat,

you gotta bring it

If you wanna see the moves,

you gotta swing it

If you want a real girl,

you gotta try it

'Cause these little b*tches

gonna riot

'Cause these

little b*tches gonna riot

'Cause these little b*tches

gonna riot

'Cause these

little b*tches gonna riot!

'Cause these little b*tches

gonna riot!

A-B-C-D-G-A-F

A-B-C-D-G-A-F!

(CROWD GASPING, YELLING)

Hey, Leah, go ahead.

Post my video.

(CROWD CHEERING, YELLING)

- (MUSIC PLAYING)

- (LAUGHING)

(SCREAMING)

We did it!

Pants. Put on these pants.

Pants.

(SCREAMS)

Stood, my dear, oh, mother

Oh, Lord, just keep on

Keep on screaming

and a-crying

Oh, Lord, I wonder...

That was epic.

Most amazing thing

I've ever done.

After tonight, Piper Morley,

you'll be a legend.

- Go, go, go, go!

- Oh, Lord

They're in the weather...

(CELLPHONE RINGS)

Hi, Piper.

Where are you?

Uh, it's us again.

We were at the playground.

Now we have to walk Sophie home,

so just call me when you can.

- Bye.

- Hey.

Hey, it's...

it's Isabella, right?

Saw your cheer at halftime.

Damn.

You got

some big brass ovaries.

See you

in a whole different light.

Thanks.

Bye. Good night.

Hey, so, uh,

we wanna volunteer

to be your next conquests,

get our swerve on

with the curvy one.

Are you propositioning me?

Hey, don't act so shocked.

I mean, you have your tongue

down everyone's throat

at school,

and you, uh, advertised yourself

in a pretty major way tonight.

All I'm saying is

I'm interested in buying it.

I can wear or not wear

whatever I want.

(LAUGHS)

And I can hook up

with who I want when I want.

Tonight was the proudest moment

in my entire stupid little life,

and apparently you guys

didn't get the point.

(LAUGHS)

So maybe this will help.

(YELLING)

What, are you kidding me?!

- (WINCING)

- Hey, you got daddy issues!

- Oh, my God.

- Agh!

Don't say anything.

I was gonna say

that was awesome!

Isabella!

This may be

the final two weeks

of your life at this school,

but do not think

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