The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit Page #4

his accommodations?

- It's stuck.

- Oh.

- It's new.

- Aspie!

Hey!

Did you see that, Daddy?

Did you see him jump the fence?

- How about that?

- Aspie!

You know, I think

he's decided to stay.

[Whinnying]

[Helen]

Judy!

- There's Judy Gardner, Daddy.

Beep your horn.

- [Beeps]

- Hi.

- Hi.

My brother Ronnie.

Ronnie, Helen Bolton.

- Hiya, Mr. Bolton.

- Oh, hi.

- That's what's-her-name, isn't it?

- Yes, dear.

- We'll see you at the in gate

after you've unloaded.

- Okay.

- How are you, Aspie?

Did you enjoy the ride?

- Zip-a-dee-doo-dah

- Zip-a-dee-day My, oh, my

- Shouldn't we get him out?

First things first,

honey.

- Is anybody ready to eat?

- Ladies and gentlemen,

your attention, please.

Class 34,

hunter seat equitation...

- has been rescheduled.

- Daddy, that's me.

- We have tomato sandwiches.

- It can't be. You've got an hour yet.

I repeat:
Class 34

has been rescheduled.

And liverwurst.

Herbie. Herbie!

Exhibitors in this class

to the in gate in three minutes, please.

- Three minutes, Daddy.

- Don't panic.

Get your saddle.

All right, Aspie, move over.

Give me some room.

Back it up. That's it.

Easy does it.

Easy does it.

Attaboy, attaboy.

Move it around now.

Bring it around here, honey.

Okay, now, give me that.

I got it.

Honey,

take this, uh, uh, thing.

- Daddy, it's on backwards.

- What?

A-are you...

- I've got it now.

- Class 34, riders to the ring, please.

Daddy,

I'm gonna be disqualified.

No, you're not, darling. You're not

gonna be disqualified. We'll make it.

- Have you got it?

- Almost there.

All aboard.

Here we go.

- Okay, get up. Get up. What?

- Where's the bridle?

- Daddy, I have to have a bridle.

- Of course you do, honey. Where is it?

Class 34, class 34,

hunter seat equitation over fences.

Daddy, I'll never make it.

I haven't even got my number.

- Uh, honey, I'll put this on.

You go get the number.

- All right.

[Car Horn Honking]

[Horse Whinnying]

Okay.

All right, boy.

Open your mouth.

Open your mouth now. Spread your teeth.

- May I help, sir?

- Spread, spread. What?

- Can I help you here?

- Oh, yes, yes. Can you

unscramble this thing?

I think so.

Well, we're kind of

in a hurry.

These things are pretty tricky

till you catch on.

Not that I'm

the horsey type...

but I get dragged to these shows

so I had to learn somethin'.

You know, actually,

I could do without horses...

but the only way I get

to have a sports car...

is if I haul my sister to these shows

so my folks won't have to do it.

- Uh-huh.

- Could I have the breast hitch, please?

What's that? Oh, oh, oh.

The better hitch. Yeah.

Daddy, I got it!

Number 313.

- I hope it's not bad... luck.

- Well, hi.

- I guess you're ready, sir.

- Ronnie, I'm speechless with admiration.

- Last call, Class 34.

- That's us.

Okay, up you go.

Where does

this thing go? Oh.

You're off, sweetheart.

See you after the event.

- Good luck.

- Yeah, good luck.

- Aunt Martha, did you find Herbie?

- [Barking]

All he left is two pickles

and a hard-boiled egg.

Thanks, Ronnie.

Let's hurry.

[Chattering]

I'm sorry, Suzie.

Everything went wrong.

It's all right.

You're on last.

Now take a couple

of deep breaths.

- Count to ten and relax.

- [Girls Shouting]

[Girl]

Relax, Helen! Relax!

[Murmuring]

- Is Helen going to jump

over all those sticks?

- Yeah, that's the general idea.

First exhibitor,

number 183...

Janet McGrath,

riding Sullivan.

The exhibitors today,

ladies and gentlemen...

will follow in the order

indicated in your programs.

They're all doing very well,

aren't they, dear?

Well, the judge doesn't look

too impressed.

You know, Tom Dugan's

become a fanatic.

He's got himself a rule book

and a schedule of shows.

He sent me a memo

a yard and a half long.

Wants Helen entered

in every medal class possible.

Medal class, dear?

What's that?

Sort of championship events.

There are about half a dozen

of'em each season.

If she wins three medals,

she goes to the world series:

- The International Horse Show

at Washington.

- Oh.

Helen's going

to Washington?

- That's what Dugan says in his memo.

- Oh, how nice.

She'll love

the Smithsonian Institute.

Last exhibitor in Class 34,

number 313...

Aspercel?

- Aspercel, ridden by Helen Bolton.

- Oh.

Here she comes.

- No, Aspie. No, no.

- [Crowd Gasping]

- Beautiful, beautiful.

- [Giggling]

Oh, that's sensational.

- Stay.

- Great!

Great! Atta girl!

Ha, ha!

- Oh.

- Hey, wasn't she great, huh?

- Uh, the horse is very good, sir.

- You bet he is.

That completes the class,

ladies and gentlemen.

All exhibitors

back in the ring, please.

Aunt Martha, she's gonna win.

She's gonna win. Ha, ha.

But keep calm, keep calm.

Number 128 and number 313

are excused.

All other entries will please line up

in numerical order.

Excused?

What's excused?

Well, she's out.

Eliminated.

Why?

Well, shejust wasn't

good enough, sir.

- Wasn't good enough? She won!

Where's that umpire?

- The blue ribbon goes to...

Fredrick,

control yourself.

Second place goes

to number 132...

Rio Latch,

ridden byJudy Thom.

Third place, number 250.

A great start

for my vice presidency.

Fourth place, number 129,

Big Chief.

What happened?

Why wasn't she good enough?

Well, sir, first, she tried

to put the horse in the wrong pattern.

Then she panicked

and decided he knew more than she did.

From then on,

she was just a passenger.

That's what the judges call

a push-button ride.

- Push-button?

- Yes, sir.

Well, don't let it throw ya,

Mr. Bolton. She'll do better next time.

Thank you, Ronnie.

Aunt Martha, find Helen

and cheer her up, will ya?

- I'll meet you back at the trailer.

- Well, where are you going, dear?

To have a word

with S.J. Clemens.

Let him know who's boss,

Barnaby. Good.

Bring him on

through again.

Very good. Now bring him

down here and stop for a minute.

Oh, hey, that's great.

Now you go out there,

and you knock 'em dead.

Uh...

- Miss Clemens.

- Mr. Bolton, if you're worried

about Helen, she's fine.

I told her that, well,

everybody loses on their first time out.

Oh, well, I'm very pleased that

Helen is happy. However, I would like...

- She's right over there

at the soft drink stand.

- No, I'm looking for you.

[Chuckling] Miss Clemens, I'm a little

concerned about the fact that...

all of a sudden my daughter is something

called a push-button passenger.

Oh, it wasn't that bad.

She was just

a little nervous. That's all.

All right, well, she's a nervous

push-button passenger...

on a $5,000 horse.

Let me ask you

a logical question now, Miss Clemens.

What happened?

[Chuckling]

I mean, what...

I thought you told me she was good.

Well, she is. All she needs is, well,

a little more practice.

- Give her a few months.

- Months!

Are you one of those parents

who has to win every time?

Well, of course, I'm not,

but I don't have months, Miss Clemens.

I mean, not if she's gonna win

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