The Horse in the Gray Flannel Suit Page #6

Winner of the A.H.S.A.

Hunter seat medal class...

is Miss Helen Bolton,

riding Aspercel.

Come on, honey. How about a nice,

big smile? Right over this way. That's it.

Fred, give her a hand.

We won. We won.

We haven't won yet,

Suzie.

[Phone Ringing]

Hello?

Oh, hi, Daddy.

- Are you still in Chicago?

- Yeah, I'm still here.

I'll be home tomorrow night.

I'm just phoning to,

uh, well, find out how everybody is.

- Oh, everyone's fine, just fine.

- Good, good.

- I lost at Rockford.

- Oh.

But it's okay, Daddy. I'll still get

to Washington. So please don't worry.

- Oh, I'm not worried, honey.

- Suzie checked all the entries

at Millbrook...

- and she says I'll be better

than any of the other kids.

- Uh, Helen...

So I'll get that last medal.

I promise.

Honey, I'm not worried...

Look, I just phone to-to

find out how everybody is. That's all.

- Everyone's fine.

- Well, good, good.

- Look, I'll see you tomorrow night, okay?

- Okay, Daddy.

Okay. Don't you worry about

Rockford. That's an order. All right?

- I'll try.

- All right, honey. I'll see

you tomorrow night. Bye.

- See you, Daddy.

- Bye.

[Whinnying]

[Nickers]

Hello, everybody.

I took an early plane.

Helen!

Aunt Martha!

Herbie?

[Nickering]

[Snorts]

[Gate Creaking]

Hey, anybody.

I'm home.

Oh, yeah, I'm home,

all right.

[Nickers]

Well, look who's here.

Loser of the week.

- [Nickers]

- Back to your paddock, chum.

And no beer for you.

You blew Helen's medal but good.

- One more like that, it's

the glue factory for both of us.

- [Whinnies]

Oh, I know, I know. One of the judges

had a thing against gray horses, huh?

[Whinnies]

And, uh, your cinch

was too tight. Yeah.

[Whinnies]

And right at the moment, Aspie,

I don't feel the need for

any of my four-footed friends.

Just get lost, will ya?

Gojump a fence or something.

Okay, all right...

I'm sorry!

Hey, Aspie, come on back.

You can have a swallow.

I gotta live with myself.

Hey, stop sulking.

I apologize.

Hey, you're takin' this thing

a little big, aren't ya? Huh?

[Whinnies]

Beer, Aspie!

Ice-cold beer!

Aspie! I apologize!

Aspie!

This is no time to be

running away from home!

Aspie!

Your favorite brew!

Zesty, tangy, full-bodied!

Hey, look at the frost

on this can!

Aspie! Come on, baby!

Come home!

Everybody loves ya!

[Nickers]

I am never gonna speak to you

again as... long as I live!

Come on. Admit it.

You weren't mad.

You were just exercising

your sense of humor.

Boy, boy, l... I tell...

I'm through playing games, Aspie.

L... I know you.

I'd reach up for your mane

and... pfft... you'd be gone.

Okay, so you're not gone.

But after what you put me through,

don't be surprised...

if you get a very formal

Christmas card and no present.

You don't mind if I put this rope on?

Nothing personal.

Okay.

You know somethin',

old paint?

We're a long way

from our diggin's.

You wouldn't...

You wouldn't give a guy

a lift, would ya?

Come on. We can give it

a try anyway.

Now, I don't have what

you'd call a good seat, Aspie.

No points in equitation,

but, uh...

Now, just stand

right there, okay? Ah.

[Hand Petting Rump]

[Grunts, Screams]

Don't look at me like that.

They do it all the time in the movies.

Okay. Steady.

Easy now, Aspie. No!

No, boy, no!

Aspie!

Hey... come back!

Back up! Whoa! [Sighs]

Okay, don't move, pal, huh?

No... no!

You're moving! You're...

Okay, you win.

We'll both walk home.

Soon as I see where we are.

[Groans]

Okay, wise guy.

Why didn't you do that in the first place?

Ah!

[Chuckles]

All right, uh, old paint.

Easy!

- He's not in the Walsh's field.

- No, of course not! He's been kidnapped!

Oh, Aunt Martha, maybe

he just wandered off or something.

Oh, with the study window wide

open and your father's clothes

scattered all over the place?

- I'm going to look for him

on the fire road.

- No, no, no, you wait right here.

We'll both go and look for him

in the car just as soon as...

Oh, hello. Police?

This is Martha Ramsey

at the Bolton house on Westhill Road.

I'd like to speak to the person

in charge of stolen horses.

Stolen horses?

Oh, oh, yes, I see. Yes, ma'am.

Right out of your stable?

Yes. Yes, yes, go ahead.

Gray coat, brown eyes...

and a small scar

on his right flank.

Yes, ma'am, I've got it.

And don't you worry.

We'll search every back road

in the county till we find him.

You know somethin', Aspie?

This beats the horseless carriage any day.

No traffic. No, uh, noise.

[Chuckles]

No smog.

Wouldn't it be great if we had

an 8:
15 horse to commute to the city, huh?

- [Chuckling] Peaceful, serene.

- [Siren Wailing]

[Siren Continues]

- [Siren Continues]

- [Whinnies]

Whoa! Whoa, boy!

Easy! Easy!

- All right, all right. Off that horse!

- No!

- Hey, hey! Look out!

- [Screams]

Stop! Stop!

You're under arrest!

- [Gunshots]

- Stop!

[Siren Continues]

Whoa!

[Grunts]

Help!

- Halt!

- Stop!

- Pull over!

- Slow down!

Whoa, baby! Whoa!

Whoa, boy!

Boy, I'd like to see

that guy's license.

No!

[Grunts]

[Siren Continues]

Whoa, boy! Whoa, buddy!

Come on, baby! Stop!

[Panting, Groaning] Come on, baby!

Let's stop for a beer, huh?

Sorry!

- Hey, you! Pull over!

- I'm trying, you idiot!

Whoa, buddy! Aspie!

Oh! Ooh!

That's a nice jump.

Watch the trees!

Whoa!

Whoa, boy!

Aspie, no!

No! No!

[Grunting]

Wh... whoa!

[Shouting In Japanese]

[Groans]

[Groans]

- [Siren Wailing]

- [Sneezes, Coughs]

[Speaking Angrily

In Japanese]

[Shouting In Japanese]

Okay, cowboy, don't move.

You're under arrest.

[Moans]

Sergeant! Sergeant!

Charlie, are you outta

your mind? Sergeant!

Hey, that's good, Freddie.

Now, keep shakin'the bars like

a wild gorilla. Get a shot.

Now, listen, Charlie. They got you

down here for you to identify me!

- Now, go out and start identifying.

- Lower angle.

- Give 'im the teeth there, Freddie.

- Ch...

Charlie, I know

what you're up to.

Free publicity. You're gonna spread me

through the papers, aren't ya?

Yeah, can't ya see the headlines?

"Aspercel ad exec steals his own horse."

Charlie, you idiot!

I've got a family to think of.

I am thinkin' of your family.

Tomes will make ya a partner for this.

Okay, Charlie! You spring me

right now or you are fired!

- [Grunts]

- You too, Alex! Sergeant!

- Sergeant!

- Freddie! Sergeant!

- You gonna tell him who I am, Charlie?

- Yeah.

I'm gonna tell 'im you're the guy who's

choking me. Alex, get a picture of this.

"Irate citizen

chokes his best friend."

- Sergeant! Sergeant!

- [Cup Clattering Bars]

- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- All right, all right.

All right! What's goin' on?

Sergeant, I demand you

force him to identify me.

- What's my name?

- I don't know. Big Chief Horse Blanket?

Sergeant, my name is Fred Bolton.

I live on Westhill Road...

Are we gonna start that again? Now,

can you identify this man or can't you?

Never saw him before in my life.

We're takin' pictures for a magazine article.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes